


Knowledge

by Nocturnal



Category: Durarara!!
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-09
Updated: 2015-03-12
Packaged: 2018-03-17 01:39:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 60,304
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3510386
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nocturnal/pseuds/Nocturnal
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Shizuo hires Izaya, the brief: for Orihara Izaya to tell him all he knows about none other than Orihara Izaya himself.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

"I admit it, you're an informant who knows almost everything. So, I want some information about a man. A man I really want to understand."

Izaya leant back on the swivel chair and smiled. He was deliberately smooth and unfazed. Carrying his professional charisma was something he did wherever he went but even more so in the inner circle of his territory. And into this, parked on the other side of a large desk, was a most unlikely costumer. Already he was running through his mind all the possible candidates.

"I'm flattered that you finally need me. But, to think that a mere man could make you need me like this... Who could it be, Shizu-chan?"

Izaya was considerably interested.

"Orihara Izaya."

This gave him pause. It lasted but a split second but Izaya was sure that Shizuo had not missed it. After all Shizuo stood with his eyes firmly fastened on him, his intent a mystery. Izaya covered the momentary lapse with some spinning. His attention was fully engaged.

"I'm afraid I cost more than you can afford."

He might as well do away with caution and proceed with the bare facts of business. Shizuo placed a thick pack of bills on the desk. They made a muffled sound.

"Money's not a problem. There's more where that came from."

Izaya cast a glance. The top bills were fresh out the press but the bottom ones were crumpled and probably much older. This told him much.

"May I ask what brought this request about?"

"None of your business. It's your job to give information, not ask for it."

Izaya sauntered to the large window and peered into the light punctuated darkness of the cityscape. Afloat in acidic neon. Turning his back to such a hostile colossus was a calibrated display of power but Izaya was still trying to grasp at meanings.

"You're talking as if I'd already accepted."

"You'll accept."

The matter of fact tone annoyed Izaya. He returned to his desk.

"Your offer covers my honoraria but I don't take all offers. You see, I'm a very busy man, Heiwajima-san."

Izaya's smile was keyed to be neutral. He tossed the change of denomination as a test. Shizuo kept a somber gravity that Izaya knew stood for his being in earnest.

"You don't seem to be doing anything at the moment."

"Not quite. I am considering your proposal."

"You'll take it."

Izaya laughed.

"It looks like you know me very well already."

Shizuo shook his head. Standing so close made Izaya very aware of the sheer difference of size between them. Shizuo's superhuman strength was a permanent hindrance to Izaya's schemes. The times favored someone as Izaya whose intellectual supremacy could become a means of conquering the world but there was something disturbing about overpowering physical dominance. Izaya was reminded that his highly sophisticated mind would be smashed apart along with his brain if Shizuo punched him in the head. If there was one thing that Izaya hated, it was a conflict that he could not win.

"I don't understand you. No one does."

"Why should I help you?"

Shizuo rubbed his chin. After a day of work his bartender outfit smelled heavily of tobacco.

"It's not like you'll do it for my sake, it's more like you can't help it."

Izaya lifted an eyebrow.

"I must say, this sounds like a setup. Divulging personal information is not something an informant would do."

"Doesn't matter."

Izaya folded his arms.

"What do you want to know, exactly?"

"Everything."

"Orihara Izaya, 23 years old, born in Tokyo, resident of-"

"Not that kind of stuff. I mean the important things."

By now Izaya was considerably puzzled. Shizuo did not strike him as calculating but there was an agenda of sorts involved here. Izaya could sense it.

"'Everything' is terribly vague. So, what are the important things, as you put it?"

Shizuo took a step forward and Izaya almost bolted out of instinct. Fear flickered through Izaya.

"Your thoughts."

"Why, I share my humble opinions with everyone and even free of charge."

"That doesn't count. It's just acting. I want to know your real thoughts."

Izaya hesitated slightly. He felt thrown off.

"That is highly unconventional. I thought you hated my guts and could hardly wait to kill me."

"This isn't about me."

Izaya had doubts about this. A request of such a personal nature involved the person behind it by default.

"Even if it is so, I have plenty of enemies that can use such data against me."

"I won't tell anyone."

Izaya chuckled.

"Ah. One of the things that make humans human is that they lie all the time. It makes my job rather difficult."

"I don't lie."

Izaya sat on the desk and swung his legs. It was important to assume a carefree attitude.

"If you were going to disclose my personal information to third parties then you would not admit it to me beforehand, now would you?"

Shizuo shrugged dismissively.

"Why are you asking, then?"

"It's a rhetorical question."

Izaya had a moment to enjoy a high of victory but it was far too short lived. Shizuo remained silent and clearly waiting. At length Izaya picked up the thread.

"So let me see if I got this straight. You want me to write a report-"

"No report. I want you talk to me, face to face. No computer chat stuff either."

"That would be rather time consuming."

"Fine by me."

Izaya suspected that Shizuo was not exactly in touch with the wonders of information technology, or any technology for that matter, but there was more to this. He always saw Shizuo as a relic of a bygone past from the dim ages when mankind was still flighty on the ground and eager to make it back to the trees at any sign of alarm. The best to describe it would be to say that Shizuo represented all that was primal. Civilization merely brushed him without altering his essence.

"I see. That is very demanding. May I ask why?"

Another pack of bills joined the first.

"None of that is real."

"What is real, then?"

A scheme was hatching and Izaya felt a tingle of excitement at it.

"I mean real life. This city, you and me, people."

Shizuo had rare moments of what Izaya called idiot savant philosophy. This was one of these. There was a point here. Izaya jumped from his seat, a miniscule figure standing next to a giant.

"I can't give you an answer now. I'll give it some thought."

"You have until tomorrow."

"You're giving me a deadline?"

"I'm your employer, that's what employers do."

Izaya narrowed his eyes.

"Potential employer, Heiwajima-san."

"Same thing. You'll take the job. I'll call you tomorrow."

The balance of control was in danger of shifting if Shizuo left at this point. Izaya would never let that happen.

"Heiwajima-san, I will call you. Have a nice night."

And with this Izaya was content in having the last word.

*  
As soon as the door closed behind Shizuo, Izaya returned to the swivel chair and slowly spun around. City lights and the vast polished interior of his living room turned in a sliding motion as if Izaya was the axis of the universe around which all things gravitated. He was deep in thought. Izaya decided to indeed take the odd proposal for reasons that delighted him.

Dialoguing gave Izaya the advantage and it seemed to be what Shizuo wanted as well. Izaya knew that a dialectical exchange allowed him to ferret information even as he pretended to provide it. He could afford to reveal vague principles about the way in which he perceived life, the universe and everything else. It could not harm him or be used against him. Izaya knew that he could learn a lot just from the questions alone. Whatever Shizuo picked as a topic would already shed light on Shizuo himself.

There was still a gambling element to this trade but Izaya thrived on risk. As long as it was risk that he could manage. And Izaya had been interested in Shizuo for longer than he thought possible. People at large were boringly rational, they could be reduced to categories with motivations more or less easily traced to some explanation or another. Heiwajima Shizuo broke the rules by being apparently unpredictable. Here was the finest proof of that.

Izaya let the momentum spin him around a few more times and smiled. Dizziness skirted at his consciousness but it was not uncomfortable. A feeling of budding euphoria was upon him.


	2. Chapter 2

"I have a few conditions."

"I'm listening."

It was the following day and Izaya had summoned Shizuo to his apartment.

"I won't reveal my sources or any of my methods. Anything specific about my job, including my finances, is off limits."

Shizuo smiled as if he was amused. Izaya did not at all care for that attitude. This interview had just begun but already he felt a bit ill at ease. Shizuo acted as if there had never been any doubt that Izaya would accept the unlikely request and he seemed to full expect these conditions. Izaya wanted Shizuo to be surprised instead of taking everything for granted.

"Fine by me."

"Also, I can't tell for sure that I'll answer your every question."

Shizuo scratched his head.

"Yeah, and you'll lie a lot too. I'm prepared for that."

Izaya flinched inwardly.

"If you know that then what exactly is the point of this?"

"I can usually tell when you're lying. Dunno how, I just know. So lie if you want, lies will tell me plenty."

While Izaya did not believe in this ability of Shizuo's, this reading the truth behind fabrication was the kind of reasoning that Izaya pursued. Instinctively Izaya disliked this but at the heels of it came the realization that Shizuo had just revealed part of his game. Perhaps he had overestimated Shizuo.

"How do you want to do this, Heiwajima-san?"

"Simple, I ask you stuff and you answer."

"And that's it?"

"Yeah."

Izaya moved over to the sofa and motioned him to sit. He was excited against all odds. Intuition told him that this would be fun. His ego supported this supposition as well.

"Shall I fix us some tea?"

"I'm not drinking anything you make."

Izaya burst out laughing.

"Implying that I'd poison you? I'll drink some myself."

"No thanks. You're probably immune to poison. As in, taking small doses does that."

Izaya was silent for a while.

"Indeed. Do ask away."

But Izaya still fixed some green tea in Shizuo's presence. The sound of boiling water filled the air. Izaya was taking a thoughtful sip when Shizuo began.

"What's the first thing you remember?"

"How Freudian of you. Fishing for some childhood trauma?"

Shizuo did not bother with a reply. Izaya settled more comfortably on the sofa. All of his furniture was sleek, modern, made of stylish lines and absurdly expensive. Izaya tried to remember.

"The view from my old bedroom. I lived on a 20th floor so it overlooked rooftops all around and there were still taller buildings. Just how is this relevant?"

Shizuo was gazing at the large window. On the other side of the glass the eclectic glitter of Shinjuku's lights invaded the night.

"Well, you live on a penthouse, don't you? And you receive people there."

He cocked a thumb in the direction of the desk. Izaya regretted ever letting Shizuo into his apartment.

"And you see a connection there?"

"Dunno. Do you?"

Izaya shrugged. Making light of it. It was a personal dogma of his that there was nothing to Orihara Izaya that Orihara Izaya did not know. Humanity at large was of course full of contradictions and the individuals that comprised it were blind to the many layers of subconscious that so determined their very existence; but Orihara Izaya was above all this. He was above the collective blindness that he skillfully exploited. Orihara Izaya approached his fellow man with the full knowledge that he was a creature set apart in self-awareness. The gift of vision elected him, placed him on top of the masses, made him more than human.

"I call it a coincidence. What is your first memory? A vending machine? It would explain so much."  
Izaya chuckled and emptied his cup.

"We're not talking about me."

"Fair enough."

"Have you ever been in love?"

Izaya was in the process of refilling and nearly spilled the tea. He crossed a leg over a knee and held the cup with two hands as one bemused.

"Now that was very random. Let's see, I lost my virginity when I was fifteen-"

"That's not what I asked."

Izaya blinked.

"Right. Are all your questions going to be about the past?"

"Not really. I mean, it's about your whole life including the present. And you haven't answered it."

Izaya considered dismissing the question altogether. But that would entail that he was afraid.

"I'm afraid I was never 'in love', no."

Shizuo nodded.

"Thought so."

Annoyance seethed in contact with Shizuo's matter of fact response.

"Unless I am lying."

"You're not."

"Oh really. Do enlighten me as to how you reach that conclusion."

"It was kinda obvious but I wanted to hear it from you."

"For all you know I am absolutely head over heels with some girl and am ever so passionate about her."

"If you actually were you wouldn't make fun of it."

Izaya laced his hands behind his head.

"Perhaps. At any rate, 'love' is a mere byproduct of our evolutionary history. Sexual drive promotes the propagation of the species and civilization adds a veneer under the guise of 'love'. Social cohesion between kin and later larger groups also benefit from the 'love' notion."

"Sounds like you have it all figured out."

"I am just an educated individual. Should I forward you some reading material on the subject?"

A snickering bite just underneath his words. Izaya regained territory. Looking down at Shizuo from the vantage point of well-articulated knowledge.

"I'll skip."

Izaya made a clicking noise with his noise.

"Speaking of which, shouldn't you be taking notes? I seem to remember that your memory was not particularly impressive at school."

Izaya's grades were always at the top and Shizuo's dragged at the bottom, they were the extremes between which gradients developed.

"No need for that. And all your fancy talking wasn't needed either. The air quoting pretty expressed what you meant much better."

Izaya's eyes became slits. Then he relaxed into a shrug.

"Or it could be that you just didn't understand a word of it."

Shizuo seemed to consider this. Izaya beamed, afloat in triumph.

"If I'm an idiot why don't you break it down for me? Why go throwing your smart talk at me like that, when you know I won't get it?"

A single eyebrow twitched as a snappy remark occurred to Izaya only to be discarded.

"My, my, 'idiot' is such a harsh term with such a pejorative connotation. I have not said that you were an idiot."

"You don't have to say it. Just like you don't say that water is wet. Too obvious to even bother. You think I'm about as close to mentally retarded as it gets."

Despite his resolve Izaya had to repress inch his way out of the sofa and then out the door. Shizuo might attack at any point. Izaya took a very deep breath.

"In my defense I tend to think that of most people."

Shizuo nodded as if this too was nothing new.

"You don't have to worry about me hitting you."

"I am ever so thankful for your kindness, Heiwajima-san."

Shizuo ignored the pointed sarcasm together.

"Do you keep a file on me?"

"Job related so I won't answer."

"That means 'yes'."

Izaya recoiled into himself by becoming perfectly still. It occurred to him that he had not so much overestimated as underestimated his opponent. And he was all too aware how deadly a mistake that could be.

"My, look at the time. I'm afraid it's getting rather late so I must ask you to call it a night."

Izaya hoped that Shizuo did not have further questions but he thought it unlikely.

"Alright. I'll call you tomorrow."

"No can do. I have important business to attend to tomorrow."

"Saturday, then."

Izaya wanted to call out the entire thing altogether. It was madness. But admitting that it at all affected him was already too grave a loss.

"I'll see what can arrange in my schedule."

*

Izaya had no actual need for personal files on his object of study. His memory was prodigious and more than capable of keeping track of the minutest details about those people unfortunate enough to capture his interest. But it was a world of fun to turn to the neat folders on his computer and go over accurate descriptions that he could compare at length. He tended to do so in the dead hours that preceded dawn, humming some tune or other, and amusing himself at finding small connections in between the most disparate of individuals: say, that Yagiri Namie just so happened to like the same soda flavor as Ryugamine Mikado. And of course there was one such file dedicated to Heiwajima Shizuo.

He now accessed it with a double click.

Everyone else was properly tagged with a picture but not Shizuo, Izaya disliked having to look at his face. Instead there was only an empty square. In fact, there was a lot of emptiness in the text boxes. Apart from the biographical facts there was precious little about Shizuo. And Shizuo had a point, such things were not particularly important. Izaya was impartial in his treatment of the human material that he so gleefully dissected. He had a professional approach that went above likes or dislikes.

Shizuo was a sole exception. Still, the reason why there was so much blank silence around him had nothing to do with Izaya's feelings. Rather, Izaya simply did not have enough information to add to the file. There were only a few tentative notes. To make for this gap Izaya had even created a subfolder on Kasuka but this too did not contain much. Izaya had also attached a clinical article on the effects of rage on the structures of the brain and its impact on neurochemistry.

It hurt his pride as an informant that he had more information on Celty than he did on Shizuo and she was not even human. Not even the time he had been forced to spend with Shizuo had provided sufficient inklings into his character.

Izaya added, 'more perceptive than what previous observations indicated. Has lately developed an interest in Orihara Izaya for reasons unknown.' He omitted himself from his analysis as much as possible. If he could unravel these 'reasons' then he would win. To Izaya there was no doubt that he was engaged in a conflict and no amount of apparent cordiality would dispel this knowledge. He got online and sampled what word on the virtual world had to say about Heiwajima Shizuo.

"'Ultra strong', 'crazy', 'berserk mode', 'like, totally sexy'. Same old."

Izaya rolled his eyes. None of this was real. That was the entire point, of course. He considering starting some nasty rumor and letting it sizzle across electricity, invading the city of poison. But it would serve no purpose. Shizuo did not care. Reputation meant nothing to him, be it good or bad. And in the half-legal twilight in which he lived values were for the most part inverted. In the tame crowds that formed the bulk of this microcosm Shizuo's blatant violence was a grave misdemeanor but in the underworld it assured him a solid credit.

Either way it did not matter. Shizuo seemed unable to grasp social conventions. Izaya had heard plenty of talk about how Shizuo was a rebel against the system but as far as he could tell Shizuo was just too indifferent to at all care about what others thought. And this made him a veritable foe to Izaya. Slander rebounded off Shizuo. Suddenly, Izaya straightened up on his swivel chair and typed rapidly, 'disregards common sense; asked about Orihara Izaya's love life.'

He glanced at the chat room. As ever people, conveniently hidden behind screen names, were running away on tangents about Shizuo. A prompt was all they needed to waste the next hour or so going on and on about whatever Izaya threw at them. And one of the recurring topics was of course Shizuo being 'a stud'. Izaya tapped his fingers against the desk. He knew that Shizuo's sex appeal was almost universal. Unlike Izaya's it was unconnected to any particular time period or place. Izaya might be the aesthetics of the future but Shizuo was timeless.

It annoyed Izaya considerably. Human progress had culminated in the production of Orihara Izaya by assuring the proper conditions for him to truly prosper but he was aware of how fragile this dominance could be. If the ongoing economic crisis were to escalate into a complete collapse of industry he would find himself at the very bottom of the food chain. He could only exert his powers and be deemed attractive in a complex society where the high technological level concurred to promote a sensibility in which intelligence wrapped up in a lithe frame was considered sexy. Izaya's forte was in blurring gender distinction, effortlessly sliding into androgyny spiced with an element of perverse kink and mind games.

His choice in partners was limited by default. Normally it did not bother him. In a city of 13 million people there was no shortage of potential lovers. Not to mention that Izaya did not value sex as much as it was believed. Of the many forms of ego trip in which he indulged it was not even the prominent one. This was normality but Izaya found himself chewing at his lower lip.

As for Shizuo, his appeal was raw and basic. It needed no combination of disparate elements. Izaya approached it coolly. Biology alone gave Shizuo the upper hand as far as competition for reproductive resources went. Females would always flock to him without truly realizing that they were handicapped by their very genes to pursue a veritable alpha male. At its most elemental natural selection favored Shizuo but Izaya derived a great amount of satisfaction in the thought that as things stood now Izaya was undoubtedly better adjusted to his environment.

Izaya spun on the chair, a full turn, his fingertips striking the keyboard even before the momentum died off.

'Does not care for sex despite many solicitations. May sublimate with violence.'

Izaya had lost count to all the girls that Shizuo had grunted away and there had been a few guys dumb to hit on him only to become a bloody mess. Shizuo did not really seem to like sex at all. 

Then again Izaya did not know just what Shizuo cared for, if anything. He clicked on Kasuka's folder. Ironically enough it was considerably more complete. Izaya had never worked this angle on prying into Shizuo's weaknesses. Siblings were off limits. It was an unspoken law to which Izaya adhered lest Shizuo exacted retribution on his sisters. It was not the best solution but the only possible.

Izaya resumed typing.

'Sexual orientation:'

The cursor blinked as if questioning. He tried to keep in mind all the many parameters of human beings. Outward appearance inclined Izaya to label Shizuo as a solid 1 in the Kinsey scale but behavior made him wonder if he was not perhaps X, asexual. All this was speculation.

'Sexual orientation: unknown.'

To Izaya the lack of knowledge was a temporary stage to be overcome.

*

"You're late."

"I am so sorry, Heiwajima-san. There's no such thing as a free day to an informant. Saturdays included."

Shizuo shrugged and walked back into his apartment, leaving Izaya to follow him. It had been Izaya's idea to have this meeting in Shizuo's apartment. It was a risky decision, shifting to foreign territory made him more vulnerable but Izaya wanted to study Shizuo in his habitat. Also, loath to admit as he was, Izaya did not want Shizuo to gain extra info from his home. Learning and adjusting were qualities that Izaya had honed through cleverly absorbed experience. New information demanded new approaches: if Heiwajima Shizuo was less of a dimwit than Izaya had believed, then he would take this into account.

"You can walk uninvited into people's homes, huh. Unless giving you permission over the phone counted."

Izaya looked around. A one room apartment. Dingy as was to be expected. And small. But tidy. No piles of garbage bags.

"Heh, I'm not a vampire."

"Not a blood-sucking one, at least."

"Whatever do you mean?"

"You figure it out."

Shizuo stood with his arms folded. He did not offer Izaya a seat and in his vest and shirt looked about to throw him out. Izaya shrugged, almost nervously.

"Can I have something to drink?"

"Go right ahead."

Izaya believed that fridges revealed a lot about their owners. Shizuo's was mostly empty. No alcohol which surprised Izaya. He picked a can of soda and after a few sips under Shizuo's unfaltering gaze that lasted a small eternity, felt rather awkward.

"Can I sit down or something?"

"Why do you have to ask, can't you do whatever you want?"

Izaya forced a smile.

"I try to accommodate my employers' wishes as much as possible and this is your house after all."

"Do you visit them in their homes very often?"

Izaya suspected a hidden intent to this question. The truth would compromise him by letting show how exceptional this assignment was. But lying, Izaya has learnt at his expense, was dangerous.

"Job-related. I won't answer."

Shizuo nodded.

"Have you ever killed someone?"

Izaya was caught off guard but he recovered without batting an eyelash.

"Oh? Trying to get me to make a confession? I don't suppose there are bugs conveniently hidden?"

Shizuo opened the single small window outside of which was the corroded landing of the fire escape ladder.

"Roof's this way."

To Izaya's absolute dismay Shizuo proceed to strip the vest and shirt, carefully folding them away into a wall inbuilt closet.

"What are you doing?"

"Quieting your paranoia. No bugs as you can see."

Izaya chuckled dryly. For a split second a stab of panic overrode his reason. He tried not to stare too much at Shizuo's impressive physique. Impressively imposing. Bare-chested Shizuo was more of a tangible threat.

"Do lead the way, Heiwajima-san."

Shizuo stepped on the landing. His bulky frame blocked the fading light. Izaya was late on purpose, fashionably so in fact, going out of his usual professional conduct to make a point. So the sun was already rusting the sky with red tendrils. As he climbed he had the feeling of swimming upwards through breathable blood. Shizuo's broad back framed Izaya's horizon. He wondered what would happen if he did something crazy. Like jumping on Shizuo to go for a piggyback ride. Izaya giggled under his breath at the thought.

The city spread its net of agitated concrete, clearer with each step. It became a grid, a blue print for human interaction. No matter how many times he saw it the spectacle never failed to captivate him. Sundown trickled down unto the neon sprinkled depths. Streets were veins, individuals akin to mere cells carried on a relentless flow. And Orihara Izaya stood above it all. He almost lost himself in exhilarant contemplation but all too soon he arrived at the roof and had to acknowledge Shizuo.

"So, have you or not? Killed someone, that is."

Izaya made a full tour of the new premises. The wind was always stronger in high places and he enjoyed it immensely.

"Remember that girl that jumped off the Sunshine last week? I gave her a little push. Every now and then I get bored. Tokyo is so overcrowded that I am doing the city a service."

He waved his hand around as he spoke, carefree and without breaking eye contact, his smile as easy going as his entire attitude. Shizuo lighted a cigarette and smoked. A fraction of silence and smoke.

"You're lying."

Izaya held on to his by now fraying smile.

"Your psychic powers again? How irrational."

"Not half as much as pushing people off skyscrapers. Which you didn't do anyway."

Izaya stretched to unwind a growing tension and at the same time casting the image that he was entirely at ease. Nonchalance was the key.

"I could provide evidence to prove it but I see no need to do it. Since you know through magic. Can't argue with such a reliable epistemology."

"You're this snarky with all your employers or just on those who call you on your bullshit?"

A stunned gasp. It took Izaya half a second to close his mouth. He had heard many an insult but never so calmly delivered.

"Work-related."

"Got it. Why did you lie?"

Izaya's hands turned into fists. He shoved them in his pockets.

"I killed her. I have no idea what you're going on about."

Shizuo extended an arm, palm upwards.

"Punch my hand. Get it out of your system."

It was with an effort that Izaya smiled, thinly.

"Get what out my system, exactly?"

"I know anger when I see it and you're real mad."

Izaya chuckled. It sounded hollow even to his ears.

"Believe what you want, then. It's all the same to me."

"Why don't you try the truth."

"Or else what? You'll beat it out of me?"

Shizuo rubbed his chin, thoughtfully, and puffed some smoke. Izaya was reminded anew of how much he despised the cancerous stench of tobacco. Gusts of wind could not seem to wipe it away entirely.

"You pretty much admitted that you lied. Being angry sucks, huh?"

Izaya wondered if he could see a glimmer of a smile in Shizuo's eyes. Izaya clapped, slowly. For emphasis.

"Bravo, Heiwajima-san. I didn't push her. I didn't have to. I merely spoke to her. So much for 'sticks and stones'. Words have a lot of power."

"That's not exactly murder."

Shizuo accepted the explanation without contesting.

"True. But anyone can commit murder. It's clear cut and uninteresting."

Izaya tried to turn his disadvantage into a win. If it came to that he could play the card of the genius that is beyond contradiction.

"I guess. But is it really all that amazing? I mean, not even you can talk a happy person into jumping to their death so I don't really see what the big deal is."

"You're the one who brought it up anyway. Since I am not allowed to pick a subject."

"But you were gloating."

"So what. We all get our kicks where we can. If you've got a problem with mine, Heiwajima-san, then I cannot help you with that."

Izaya waited with baited breath for the onslaught of rage that was sure to follow.

"I just think it's kinda petty."

"And I suppose this is when I tell you all about my grand plan."

"So you are planning something."

Izaya took half a step back. Just as the tension was becoming unbearable a bubbly ringtone cut into the silence. Izaya recognized it immediately.

"Please excuse me. Hello, Masaomi-kun. No, I'm not doing anything important. Did he now. That's troublesome. Solve it. 'How'? Why, you ought to know that already. And aren't we polite, 'Orihara-san' huh. Whatever happened to 'that Izaya bastard'? Heh, this double-faced nature of yours may be the end of you. And if it isn't then something else will. Bye bye."

Here was Izaya's much needed mood boost. Night was descending.

"You leaving?"

"I've been most obliging as it is."

Izaya sauntered to the ladder. Buoyed up and in control. But still very much aware of his surroundings. He took only a brief look at the sparkling spectacle of so many lights before starting down the rungs. From the corner of his eyes he sensed the motion of a large mass known as Heiwajima Shizuo. Instinct kicked in with a shot of adrenaline. Izaya leapt so as to put as much distance between himself and the aggressor as possible but it was dark in the rooftop. Too dark.  
His stumbling on a pile of rubbish that tumbled was hardly a mishap for a parkour adept but coupled the momentum of fleeing from Shizuo capsized Izaya's balance. He tried to pull back but gravity cancelled all efforts. Izaya fell forward. The abyss was littered with stars. His mind joined the forward motion, anticipating with gruesome detail the bloody splatter his body would leave on the pavement below.

His heartbeat was inside and outside in the cold air. Izaya forced his eyes open. The stars skid downwards in a dizzying arch, vertigo clutched at him- and then suddenly stopped. Izaya swung in the wind but did not fall. His cell phone slid from a pocket and fell, fell, fell, crashing into so many pieces of plastic and circuitry. Izaya did not dare breathe.

"It's not the same, seeing people jump and being close to plunging to your death. You sure are into, what do you call it…oh yeah, 'observing' but you stop at that."

Izaya almost told Shizuo to let go of him. Not because he had any desire to time but because it was instinctive to finding himself in the clutches of a hostile brute. Quite literally. Shizuo held him with just a hand and calmly smoked as if Izaya's ordeal was a mere trifle.

"Heiwajima-san? I would very much appreciate it if you pulled me in."

"Maybe I should take up your hobby of dropping people."

Izaya had to steel himself. Gusts of wind caused him to sway dangerously and he was close to vomiting. And that was the least of his concerns.

"I did not drop anyone. Ever. They jumped because they wanted to jump. You're right, I did not have to do much convincing."

"I got to hand it to you, I thought you'd be shitting your pants by now."

Izaya managed a smile.

"If you let me fall it will be murder pure and simple. Can you live with that? Cold-blooded murder?"

"Probably."

 

Izaya was running out of arguments. He could not afford to die here. Begging was a desperate tactic but the only one available. Izaya could not even take a deep breath lest it disturbed his precarious equilibrium. He raced through his mind for the emotional appeal most likely to succeed and settled on how much his sisters would miss him. All bets were off anyway. But before he had a chance of sketching a picture of teary eyed Kururi and Mairu being ever so sad, he was landing on the roof top. Shizuo dropped him unceremoniously. Izaya scrapped his knees and realized that he was shaking uncontrollably. Now that the threat of annihilation was gone, pent up stress took hold of him. Izaya stared at the ground on which he huddled and tried to breathe in and out without hyperventilating. He reached for his switchblade and finally closed his eyes. Slowly he counted to ten. Then staggered to his feet. Jittery laughter.

"You must think that this is hilarious."

It served no actual purpose but he wielded the blade for reassurance.

"Not really. I don't share your humor."

Izaya took a step toward Shizuo. He could not remember ever having lost face like this. That hurt the most. Sweaty palms, he almost lost purchase of the handle. Izaya gritted his teeth. He had a pointed remark ready. Instead he zipped up his jacket and pulled up the hood.

"Heiwajima-sama, I'll be charging you for my recently destroyed cell phone."

Shizuo shook his head.

"'-sama', huh. Dunno why I gotta pay for your phone, you tripped on your own but it's fine, I guess. Since I am your employer."

"And a marvelous one at that."

Izaya was not looking forward to climbing down the narrow ladder suspended in empty air. Shizuo scratched his head.

"Kinda funny, you make compliments sound like insults."

Without further ado Shizuo picked him up and flung him over a shoulder before Izaya could even protest. The contact with naked skin disturbed Izaya more than he could account for. Shizuo carried him back to the apartment and offered him some tea. Along with sugar. Izaya lifted an eyebrow.

"You're not supposed to sweeten Japanese green tea."

"I like it with sugar."

Izaya grabbed the cup with both hands. This kind of cheap blend was disgusting even without sugar.

"That's a crime against good taste."

"Don't like it, don't drink it."

Izaya drank it down to the last watery drop, sugar included. As disgusting as it tasted, it steadied him. Izaya became calmer and more aware. He noticed the thin and faded scars on Shizuo's chest. The product of Izaya's blade handiwork. He need only reach out slightly and touch the scars, apartments were so absurdly small. Izaya had fond memories of slashing Shizuo. He wondered how often Shizuo thought about it. No one else had ever managed to accomplish such a feat and Izaya had the comforting feeling that Shizuo had spent many a brooding hour on that account.

"I must be going now."

"'kay. Guess I can't call you now. You're not listed on the phonebook."

"I'll have a brand new third generation cellular phone very soon, rest assured."

"The one I'm paying for?"

"Precisely."

Izaya was already at the threshold and when he opened the door he found himself face to face with Tom.

"Orihara Izaya…-san? Shizuo…?"

Izaya burst out laughing. He could well imagine how compromisingly bizarre the scene was, Izaya in Shizuo's apartment, Shizuo wearing nothing except a pair of pants. Hysteria was a few giggles away.

"Good evening! I'll leave you two alone."

Izaya had a sudden attack of laughter half a block from Shizuo's place and he kept on giggling all the way home.


	3. Chapter 3

"That was- that was Izaya? The Izaya?"

Tom was still staring wide-eyed.

"There's only one. Fortunately."

"Never mind that, what was he doing here? Why are you half-naked?"

Shizuo got dressed.

"I'm going out for a bite, you coming?"

Tom joined him for greasy cheeseburgers and strawberry milkshake.

"Is Izaya bullying you again? Just what is wrong with that guy, anyway."

"Dunno. That's what I'm going find out."

Tom adjusted his glasses.

"Shizuo, you should just stay away from that guy. Izaya is a sly bastard."

"Yeah, I know. But I'm getting the hang of it."

*

As soon as Izaya got home, he got to work. He made a list of the serial numbers on Shizuo's bills. As Izaya thought, there was a bundle of older bills dating from around or before their high school days and a bundle of newer ones. He had decided to follow the trail of money and see where it led. This small fortune was beyond most people's budget, let alone a broke debt collector that struggled to make ends meet. Shizuo had stolen it or borrowed it from a friend or extorted it from some poor soul.

Izaya considered these options. Kasuka was wealthy enough to lend his brother a helping hand. At any rate, the two different types of bills hinted at two donors, be them voluntary or not. According to Shizuo there was more money. The trip to Shizuo's apartment had not been completely disastrous. Izaya now knew for a fact that Shizuo was not living above his means.

Non-serialized numbers made it unlikely that he had robbed a bank but Izaya made a mental note to use his contacts at the Bank of Japan and to check a few loan sharks. Legitimate and underground sources reinforced each other to trace the trail of meaningful paper. Finding out how Shizuo had come into possession of the money was not even cracking half of the mystery. Motivations remained unknown. Izaya stored the bills in the safe.

He had already showered but he now took a bath. Izaya rinsed his skin anew. He still felt the sticky impression of cold sweat. Fear was an emotion he did not handle well. And he was too honest with himself to deny that he was afraid of Heiwajima Shizuo. Not to mention he was terrified of dying.

The warm water and foggy air did not seem to even diffuse the chill deep in his bones. Fear was a conditioned response triggered in case of a dangerous situation, it was inherited without a glitch by the evolutionary tree from the remotest days of self-aware higher primates to modern day homo sapiens- and none of this mattered at all. Rationalizations could not coexist with fear when it hit. It was only later that they were at all possible and by then they were useless. Izaya slid below the surface. His body disconnected from his body as it happened at times when he was in deep thought. Undisturbed.

He preferred decisions forged in the heat of the moment but this kind of quiet reflection had its advantages. Blurred sounds barely reached him. Holding his breath. Izaya had to wonder if Shizuo ever felt fear. If not then he could very well be beyond his reach. For the second time in a very eventful night he remembered cutting Shizuo. Years upon years could pass over that particular scene without any effacing effect on Izaya's memory. He had seen naked surprise in Shizuo at the time. More than the pain he was sure that it had been the shock of being at all wounded that had impacted Shizuo. Which meant that there was hope.

Izaya emerged from the water with a smile. He wrapped himself in a fluffy towel and coolly assessed the many tasks at hand. There might still be much fun to be had.

*

Sunday nights were sushi nights. Izaya did not feel much in the mood for it but he was not about to let anything interfere with his routine in the slightest. It did not occur to him that enforcing this policy was admitting the pressure on him. But this habit fulfilled a minimum quota of a weekly incursion into Ikebukuro. Directly disobeying Shizuo's prohibition.

"Orihara-san, good evening."

"I'm taking a private room tonight."

Russia Sushi was filling with the usual bustle. Izaya passed the half-filled counter seats, silently doing a roll call on the several habitués. A few weird confections oozed cheese on tiny platters. Izaya hurried past these. Simon's idea of original cuisine did not match with anyone else's. Which meant that his culinary creations were a direct spin off of his personality. Normally Izaya would take a few minutes to ponder this but now he rushed upstairs. He stopped in front of a sliding door and removed his shoes. A low table and chair furnished the otherwise empty room. Izaya hummed a popular tune under his breath and in no time Simon was serving him a generous array of sushi bits. Such a large man handling tiny pieces of food delicacies was a spectacle well worth of Izaya's attention. Simon gave him preferential treatment out of instinctive distrust.

"This ootoro looks tasty."

"Fresh from the sea, Orihara-san. Please enjoy it."

Izaya waited until Simon was just out of the room to stop him on his tracks. Just as Simon thought he had dodged the bullet.

"By the way, has Shizu-chan dropped by recently?"

"Heiwajima-san? Haven't seen him, long time."

He could see Simon's cogs turning, considering how likely his establishment was to suffer from an open conflict between Izaya and Shizuo. It could degenerate into senseless strife and Simon had seen far too much of that.

"Is that so. When was the last time you did see him? Roughly speaking."

Izaya took a sip of tea.

"Two weeks."

"Do let me know if he appears."

Simon hesitated. He truly wished that people would just get along. Simon opted for a nod, he could always call Izaya after Shizuo left the premises. Izaya smiled with all the candor in the world.

"И у нас никогда не было этого разговора." [And we've never had this talk.]

Simon nodded again and slid the door closed behind, sighing as soon as he found himself in the corridor. There was something highly creepy about Izaya's command of the Russian language. At first Simon had thought that it might be fun to have someone to speak his mother tongue with, but soon enough he realized that Izaya was insidiously letting him know that he couldn't at all hide from him. As to how exactly and why Izaya had learned Russian, Simon did not know but he could not shake the feeling that it was just another spying measure and one that uncovered Simon's past. More than once it had occurred to him that Orihara Izaya would be right at home with the KGB.

Izaya was thoughtfully chewing on a nigiri when a knock on the door interrupted his musings.

"Who is it?"

"Hi there, it's me, Kadota."

"Dotachin! Do come in. Allow me to offer you some food."

For this reason he had ordered a pair of extra chopsticks. Just in case.

"Thanks."

Kadota joined him but did not begin eating immediately. Clearly something was on his mind. Izaya did not press him for it. The best thing about Kadota was that he always ended up spilling the beans without so much as a prompt. Unfortunately his information strayed far and wide from the mark. Initially Izaya had wondered if Kadota was not very gifted in the intellectual department. Even with limited resources it was possible to figure out large pieces of the big picture. But Izaya had come to see that Kadota was intelligent, he just so happened to lack what it took to be in the information trade. Whether he failed to see the right connections or whether he simply did not have the instinct for knowing which leads to pursue and which ones to drop. As a result he was useful as a sort of rumor repository, absorbing a lot of information without processing it properly.

"Try some of the salmon, it's great."

"Thanks…Izaya, do you know what's going on with Shizuo?"

Izaya tilted his head to the side.

"With Shizu-chan? I can hardly say. As you know we're not exactly on friendly terms."

"But you keep tabs on him."

"It comes with the territory. Wasabi?"

"No thanks. Don't you think Shizuo's been acting strange as of late?"

Izaya knew that the man in question was skipping the habit of dining at Simon's. In a creature of habits it could entail something.

"How so?"

"I mean, he's been so quiet."

Izaya poured soy sauce into a bowl of rice and affected indifference.

"That's a wonderful thing. I could do with a break from Ikebukuro's yeti."

"But why do you think he's been that way?"

"I have no idea."

Kadota ignored the food.

"I've been thinking…maybe he has a girlfriend?"

Izaya could have laughed but smiled instead. As ever Kadota was sharp enough to spot a pattern and clueless enough to rush into unsupported conclusions. A perfect combination for Izaya to toy with.

"It's possible."

"I wonder who she is."

Trust Kadota to run away with the wrong idea. Izaya's smile grew wider as he imagined what Kadota would do if he knew that Shizuo and he had been spending so much time together deep in conversation. Most likely think that Izaya was the mystery 'girlfriend'.

"Who knows."

"Don't you know?"

"I'm afraid not. Then again, I never knew Shizu-chan to have a girlfriend."

"Yeah, now that I think about it…and same goes for you."

Kadota had never put these two facts together.

"Heh, true. But if I did have one, I very doubt you'd know about it."

Every now and then Dotachin needed be reminded that he was, well, Dotachin.

"Has he been treating you any different? I figured a girl would mellow him. Maybe she wants you guys to become friends again."

Izaya considered introducing Kadota to Occam's razor. On second thought letting him flounder was so much more enjoyable.

"'Again'? I was never friends with Heiwajima Shizuo."

"You know what I mean."

Without lifting a finger Izaya had uncovered plenty about Shizuo. He was not spending his money out, otherwise he would be dining at Russia Sushi and his behavior had changed enough for Kadota to notice. More, Shizuo had not told either Tom or Kadota about their agreement. Desirable secrecy.

"We just can't get along."

"I've always wondered why."

Izaya did not clash with Kadota at any time and it amused him that Kadota had some thoughts on the Shizuo/Izaya feud.

"Who knows. By the way, Dotachin. I came across this bill."

He handed him one straight from Shizuo's stash.

"Is it counterfeit?"

"Maybe. Why don't you check it and let me know?"

Kadota held the thin slip of paper against the light.

"Sure. This city is really becoming dangerous."

Izaya laughed, he was greatly responsible for that state of affairs. The money was legit but he enjoyed having Kadota running completely useless errands. Izaya paid the dinner with Shizuo's bills. Spending this payment sealed the contract between informant and employer.

*

Everything in this odd assignment led Izaya to expect the next session to start with a bang.

"Do you have a best friend?"

They sat side by side at a department store rooftop converted into an amusement park. Izaya's pick served a double purpose, it showed how smooth he was in high places and it was also one of the many places out of which Shizuo had been fired. A public setting displaced the uncomfortable feeling developing between them that Izaya could not help resent. More variables on the board, less disturbances. Izaya drew a neat borderline mathematical inference.

"I do have a best friend. Someone who is always there for me, who I can trust completely and who I will never part from. And I of course mean-"

"Orihara Izaya."

Red eyes narrowed briefly. Izaya did not appreciate having his thunder stolen. He shrugged.

"Heiwajima-san, this won't do. You can't be answering yourself or else I'll be forced to return your money."

"So you don't have friends. Thought so."

"Did I say that? You must be aware that I enjoy human company and vice versa."

Shizuo nodded. The perennial vest and shirt looked exceedingly out of place. In the background some goofy wrestlers pranced for the glee of riotous children.

"'kay, I'll give you that. But say you wanted to throw a hot pot party. Who would you invite?"

Izaya opened his mouth to answer and closed it again. He opted for a dismissive shrug and smile.

"And why would I do that exactly?"

"Dunno. But suppose you wanted to. Is there anyone you'd want to invite?"

Izaya grew silent. Red balloons floated on tethers of rope.

"My sisters."

"Assuming they'd come."

For the very first time Shizuo caught a glimpse of pain in Izaya. It was very brief, a mere flash. 

Izaya chuckled quietly.

"Indeed. They are obviously free to do as they see fit. But you didn't ask who would attend this hypothetical party, you asked who I would invite to said hypothetical party."

Shizuo tucked a cigarette between his lips then remembered that smoking was forbidden. The entire city was becoming overly sanitized. That's why Shizuo preferred the backstreets where there was less of a façade even if there were a lot of dirty corners. It was impossible to have everything and the price of reality was not exactly pretty. Izaya's hands rested on his lap, his eyes far away in the distance. For once truly oblivious of Shizuo's presence.

What Shizuo saw was a pale skinny young man lost in a wealth of loneliness. Then Izaya produced a phone from a pocket and flicked it open.

"Heiwajima-san, here's the receipt. I expect full payment."

Izaya bounced to his feet and aimed at the phone at Shizuo.

"Sure. What are you doing?"

"These gadgets have all sorts of extra functions. I'm taking a picture of you. So drop the shades and say 'cheese'."

Shizuo removed his sunglasses. Half-hidden by technology, Izaya took a step back from the situation.

"Did you have some important photos in your old phone?"

Izaya bought himself a mint ice cream cone.

"That would be work-related but no, nothing relevant."

Shizuo watched him. Izaya's misunderstanding, a rare thing, was highly telling. Shizuo did not mean anything about compromising evidence related to shady information dealings. His point had to do with personal pictures but Izaya did not seem to consider such a possibility. Shizuo kept his silence on this.

As public a location as this was, Izaya doubted that anyone would recognize them. He was very glad because presently he did not feel like himself. It called for a shift in the conversation. Away from his person.

"You know, people are saying that you have a girlfriend."

"What people?"

"'Anon'."

Shizuo blinked.

"Anon what?"

"'Knowledge is free. We are Anonymous. We are Legion. We do not forgive. We do not forget. Expect us.'"

Izaya had delved deeper online and found that Kadota was not alone in his misguided ideas but the quoted resounded with a gloomy undertone that had nothing in particular to do with it. The context dropped suddenly, collapsing into an ugly reality.

"Who said that?"

"No one did. Everyone did. Anon did."

Somebody should let a certain Ryugamine Mikado know just how horrible anonymous truly was. But Izaya was not given to didactic virtues.

"Internet stuff."

"Yes. It's wrong, though. Knowledge isn't free. At all. It's about as expensive a commodity as it gets. One always pays."

"And you don't mean with money."

"Speaking of that, it seems that you have become rich overnight."

Izaya tried to return to his investigation. Safer territory all around.

"I didn't steal, if that's what you're implying."

"Everyone steals from someone else. It's called 'society'."

Shizuo frowned.

"Bet you wouldn't be saying that if someone broke into your place."

"Good point. But it would only prove that I'm right."

Izaya bit into the crunchy part of the ice cream.

"Do you keep a file on yourself? And don't go all 'job-related', you said that informants don't use personal stuff."

Izaya smiled.

"Not their own personal stuff, at any rate. And no, there is no 'Orihara Izaya' folder. Shame, all you'd had to do was hack into my computer and read it if it existed."

"Nah, not interested. You'd just lie."

"Is that much different from what we're doing here?"

Shizuo watched a group of kindergarteners running around for a while. He tried to imagine Izaya that age and failed altogether.

"You've been lying to me a lot, yeah. I knew you'd do that. But if you did that kind of folder, you'd be lying to yourself."

Izaya thought about it. His entire existence was predicated on the axiom that Orihara Izaya had complete knowledge of Orihara Izaya. That he could be mistaken, that he could give a distorted inner view to himself, were life-altering errors. Izaya was not ready to come to terms with such a possibility.

"Ah. And let us not forget the advantages of dialectics that you pointed out so wisely."

"Lose the fancy wording."

"I mean dialoguing."

Izaya was a master communicator. But surprisingly he spun his wheels when confronted with Shizuo's blunt honesty. Perhaps because Shizuo knew nothing about euphemism or the insidious allure of jaded sarcasm. No beating around the bush and no half-words. Limiting Izaya's scope of action, pushing it into a fringe. Easily disarming him.

"Talking to you is the only way of getting to understand you."

"I might have forgotten to mention but you're paying for my ice cream as well."

Shizuo frowned. He could understand the phone to some extent but not this.

"What do you think this is, a date?"

Izaya blinked. Once. Twice. Then he burst into a fit of giggles.

"Oh my, there's some humor to you! Who would've thought! But ice cream counts as work expenses and you must cover them as my employer."

"I bet you're making that up."

"It is proper procedure. And since your financial situation has taken a remarkable turn for the better, dare I say a miraculous one, I do not see the problem."

"I ain't paying."

Izaya shrugged.

"Oh well."

"Does anyone actually laugh at your jokes?"

Izaya chuckled.

"Actually, no. Apart from myself, that is. But that's fine by me."

"Looks like you do plenty of stuff on your own, huh."

"You know what they say, laugh with the world and all that."

"More like laugh at the world in your case."

Izaya nodded. He had refined humor into a sleek weapon without stripping it of genuine glee.

"There is never shortage of comedy if you know where to find it."

"What do you find funny, then?"

"People. Not so much comedies and the like, but everyday people going about their everyday lives."

Shizuo craved some nicotine right about now. A non-smoking sign loudly proclaimed that it was not to be.

"Examples?"

Izaya leaned closer to him.

"There are two country boys in this city. Best friends for life. Bosom buddies through and through. Yet they have no idea of who the other really is. You see, each one believes that the other must not find out about how wicked people can be. What they don't know is that such scruples are long overdue. Every day they lie to each other. Very soon they'll be on opposite sides of a war, not as the poor victims that they think their friend to be, but as leading forces. Ah yes, friendship is absolutely grand."

"You make it sound like you had nothing to do with it."

"It's very easy to pin the blame on me for pretty much everything that goes awry. Nowadays people are exceedingly eager to evade responsibility. It's so comforting to simply think, 'It's that Izaya bastard again, if it wasn't for him I'd have the girl of my dreams, a well-paid but laid back job and a dozen houses.' Instead of, 'I screw up because I'm not up to par'."

Silence for a while.

"That might be how others put it but in my case I have plenty of reasons for blaming you for shit in my life. You framed me. Don't think I'll ever forget."

There was no resentment but a cool-headed assertion.

"You cannot prove it in a court of law. So technically it did not happen-"

"Cut the crap. Right now."

Izaya almost squirmed away. A thousand thoughts rushed through his mind.

"Alright. I admit it. But it was a case of self-defense."

"It's not self-defense if you enjoy it."

"I think you mean 'it's not rape if you enjoy it'."

"Want to find out for sure, Izaya-kun?"

Izaya opened and closed his mouth a few times. Processing cryptic information in dawning dismay.

"Whatever do you mean? Oh, I see. Today you seem to be in a mood for parody. But I'm afraid I missed the point entirely-"

"Want me to make it very clear to you?"

Izaya got up.

"This meeting is over."

"Don't go deciding that on your own."

Shizuo detained him by locking a hand around Izaya's wrist. Almost holding hands, in fact. Izaya narrowed his eyes and tensed in anticipation. The security of crowds was illusory. In large groups humans borrowed from one another's collective perspective and as a result became very blind on an individual level. That is why one could stab someone to death in a crowded subway platform and get away with it.

"Heiwajima-san, you are going to let go of me right now-"

Shizuo dragged him to a nearby booth.

"Two cones, one vanilla and the other mint."

"What are you doing?"

"Buying you ice cream like you wanted."

"I just had some…"

"You're having more."

Armed with the desserts, Shizuo dragged him some more all the way to a bench running along a fence beyond which spread the city in a twinkling grid of concrete and glass.

"Thanks…?"

"You're welcome."

Izaya felt that a storm had just passed him over. It was odd and made him uncertain of where he stood.

"You know, you can tell a lot about someone by what they eat. I'd never figure a big man such as yourself would have a sweet tooth. And why, you ask? Because it is more or less agreed that sweets are more befitting for children, girls and effeminate men. It sounds random, doesn't it?"

Shizuo shrugged.

"Don't really care. I like what I like and that's that. Want some of my cone?"

Izaya smirked.

"Are you making fun of me again, Heiwajima-san?"

"More for me, I guess."

And indeed Shizuo returned to grimly licking his ice cream. Izaya did not know quite what to do but he supposed that keeping a conversational tone was crucial. Shizuo seemed to be thinking the same even if he gobbled some sweet stuff in silence for a while.

"You're always eating expensive fatty tuna."

"Decadent classy food is my favorite. But of course I must watch my calories."

Shizuo poked him, causing Izaya to jump.

"You're skin and bones."

"You mean 'elegant and sophisticated'."

"I mean what I said. Skin and bones."

Shizuo looked him up and down as if to take in the slimness. Izaya thoughtfully scooped some ice cream.

"Ootoro is an aphrodisiac."

"Huh? You need that kind of thing?"

Izaya did not exactly know how they had drifted to this topic. A trickle of ice cream melted over his hand.

"Heh, no, I don't. But I love ootoro, it's a perfect marriage of flavor and texture."

"It looks like raw meat to me."

Izaya laughed.

"Have you ever tried it?"

"Nah. I'm fine with sushi but not that."

"Ootoro is a sushi delicacy. It's to sushi as diamonds are to jewels, minus the exploiting of human misery."

Shizuo finished the vanilla ice cream and grabbed Izaya's hand, bringing it to eye level.

"What's up with the rings? I could never figure it out."

"Fashion statement."

Izaya removed a silver ring and handed it to Shizuo, who turned it over curiously. The tiny piece of metal caught a bit of sun and then broke in two in Shizuo's hand.

"Shit. Sorry."

"All good, all good. I have loads of them."

Shizuo held the broken pieces.

"Guess I'll have to buy you a new one."

It did not at all follow, in fact it ran counter to the situation. Izaya grasped this immediately.

"Guess you will have to, Heiwajima-san."

*

Failing to explore an opportunity was a true sin as far as Izaya was concerned. He chose a high end jewelry store to assess how much Shizuo's funds increased. His rings were all for effect and considerably cheap. Whether Shizuo was aware of this or not was a point to later consider. Either way Shizuo had tagged along and thus landed himself on very foreign territory.

Izaya picked up a silvery ring from a soft dark blue case and studied it with care. Spotlessly clean windows opened up the store to the crowd of onlookers. A very eager female employee was engaged in the laudable duty of persuading Izaya to buy something insanely expensive while hoping to get his phone number.

"What do you think? Pretty, isn't it?"

"They all look the same to me."

Izaya shrugged.

"Please pardon my friend, he lacks manners. By the way, you should drop your boyfriend for someone better."

The girl jumped behind the counter. Izaya pretended to become even more interested in the assorted rings. This was his moment. A practical demonstration of his powers.

"Sir…?"

He finally looked up to establish direct eye contact.

"That necklace is a trinket. And I don't think you're the kind of girl to wear such an unstylish thing. It's a gift, isn't it?"

"Yes, but-"

"You must ask yourself now how much he cares for you. Shouldn't he give you something equivalent to his feelings for you? Please reconsider this relationship. Oh, and I'll be taking this one. Is that alright, Heiwajima-san?"

Shizuo did not answer right away.

"Sure."

"Excellent."

Izaya left with a brilliant smile and a wave. The girl stood grounded on the spot.

"What was that all about?"

"Ah, all in due time. Let us wait and you shall see."

Izaya parked them conveniently in an alley that ran parallel to the personnel room. Fifteen minutes later they overheard a one-sided telephone conversation in which the girl firmly broke up with whoever was on the other side.

"And there you have it."

"You tricked her."

"Did I now."

"I dunno just how you did it but you tricked her. Sounds like a lame reason to dump someone."

Izaya giggled.

"People always want to believe that they deserve more than what they have. It was obvious that the necklace was a gift since it did not at all match her style."

"Doesn't mean it's the guy's fault."

Izaya beamed.

"Indeed. But she was already half-convinced before I even said anything. No one who is actually happy in their relationship will goggle up people the way she was doing. And not everyone is lucky enough to have a hunk buying them pretty rings."

He let the implications hang. Triumph hyped his twisted joy.

"I guess it worked 'cause you kissed her ass so much."

"Precisely. Compliment someone and they'll be so much more likely to hear you out."

They had drifted to a small café and Shizuo was silently brooding.

"So what, people are like chess pieces that you move around?"

Izaya's eyes flashed brightly.

"That is just what they are. Do you know what the difference between a king and a pawn is? None. It does not matter how important you may be in the board, it only matters who is playing. 'Hate the player', the game is a byproduct only. A true player designs the game."

Shizuo mulled it over.

"So that's your plan. It won't work."

"So you say."

Shizuo shook his head. Izaya could not decipher the long stare that displaced him. There was something uncanny in sitting at a small table like this, the normality of it all did not add up.

"It can't work. You're not god, you're Orihara Izaya. Sure, you're real clever and know what makes people tick but you're a person yourself. I know for a fact that you get afraid, sad and even angry."

Izaya shrugged.

"There are plenty of god conceptions in which such traits do not conflict."

"Doesn't change the fact that to do what you want, you'd have to be beyond human, well, everything. It'll never work."

"We'll just have to wait and see."

Shizuo shook his head again and Izaya froze to the spot as a large hand cupped his face.

"There's no way you'll give up and it will kill you. Probably in a short while."

"What, I'm an endangered species?"

"More like a doomed one."

Shizuo trailed the hint of a caress as he removed his hand, lightly touching his hair. Izaya pulled himself together with an effort.

"My, why so serious and fatalistic all of a sudden? I am sorry to disappoint you but I have no intention of dying any time soon. Granted, a lot of people would rejoice at that but I very invested in my individual survival."

"Just not enough to let go of your crazy ambitions."

Izaya laughed, almost shakily.

"I think I'll call you 'Cassandra' from now on. Got any more prophecies of gloom and doom?"

Shizuo leaned closer. It was rare for Izaya to dislike being the center of attention but it was so now.

"This time we're spending together is probably the last time I'll get of ever figuring you out."

"Isn't that wonderful! You can dance on my grave then. Or drop a vending machine on it."

A curt nod on Shizuo's part.

"That's what I thought at first. But now…I'm just not too sure."

"Could it be that my amazing charm is having its effect on you?"

Izaya sounded chirpy and offhand. He was anything but.

"It's not like that."

"What is it then?"

Snappy now.

"I'm sorry for you."

"Sorry? What on Earth for?"

Izaya was too surprised to even be angry.

"Because you're pitiful."

Izaya forced a chuckle.

"Says the guy who lives in a square meter apartment and that everyone is afraid of."

"You're alone in the world. For all your contacts you're completely alone, aren't you?"

"Are you honestly pitying me?"

"I guess. But I can't help being sorry for you."

Izaya laced his hands and placed his chin on them. The new platinum ring stood out from the rest by its purer silver glimmer.

 

"You have some sort of agenda. Were you hired by someone to see if you could get under my skin?   
An odd choice all around but who can tell-"

"Is it that difficult for you to accept that I'm sorry for you? You're…such a waste of potential."

Izaya had a pointed remark ready but he never got around to it. Because Shizuo cut him off with a kiss. Brief but unmistakable real. Izaya flung himself back brusquely, nearly knocking down his chair.

He trembled slightly in dismay. His inner balance collapsed beneath him.

"Heiwajima-san, if you think that you can rile me, I must tell you-"

"Nah, I just felt like doing it."

Izaya forced himself to hold his ground, going against every single ounce of instinct that instructed him to make a run for it and keep running.

"What a shame, I'm afraid you're simply not at all my type."

"What is your type, by the way?"

Izaya was not in the mood for answering but leaving at this point was accepting a loss. Their table was conveniently screened by a lush plant and placed in a corner, tucked away from the rest of the tables, and the café was practically empty as it was. It was also clearly understaffed since no one had bothered to check what the commotion was all about. So no one had seen Shizuo break the laws of sanity. Izaya sat back and adopted a flippant attitude.

"I am into slim built people with a pretty face. Red eyes and a flair for the sardonic are a bonus. Gender is not very relevant."

Shizuo nodded as if he expected exactly this.

"You just described yourself, you know. So basically your ideal partner is yourself. And your best friend, probably only, is yourself. And the only person that laughs at your jokes is…yourself. I'm not too smart like you'd say but I see a pattern here."

"Poor me, I am so lonely that I need free hugs now."

Izaya's smile grew wider and thin. His anger simmered just underneath the surface of detached sarcasm. He touched the handle of his switchblade in his pocket.

"Your place is real big. And you live there on your own."

Izaya leaned forward.

"Tell you what, next time you visit, I'll make sure to have a live-in girlfriend just to shut you up. How does that sound?"

Shizuo blinked.

"What do you mean, that I'd be jealous?"

Izaya had not at all considered this. But everything was already a few degrees of insane as it was. He could taste overly sweet latte on his lips. Unpleased.

"Would you?"

Shizuo added more sugar to his cup.

"You're the one answering. That's our deal."

"Our deal, Heiwajima-san, was over the moment you kissed me."

"Don't you do that kind of thing with employers?"

"Work-related, not answering."

Shizuo turned a spoon. It hit the china with each full circle on sugary foamy liquid. Izaya felt a bit queasy.

"I don't think jealous is the right word…but it'd be weird."

"Weird, you say. And you and I having a cup of coffee like this as if we were about to fade into the sunset hand in hand isn't weird?"

"It kinda feels normal…being here with you, I mean. I thought you'd be a better kisser."

"I don't normally lock lips with people who have tried to kill me. Repeatedly, even. So do excuse if my technique was lacking."

Shizuo kept on drinking his latte.

"If I wanted to kill you, I'd had dropped you back at the rooftop."

"Did you forget all the times I escaped by a hair's breath from your bouts of senseless violence? Throwing vending machines at someone is hardly 'nice'."

Izaya allowed for pent up resentment to become overt.

"You know, for someone who is so smart and stuff, you sure can be dim every now and then."

"Be very careful of what you say and do at this point, Heiwajima-san."

"You really think that I always missed hitting you with those vending machines?"

Izaya started violently.

"Do you expect me to believe that you missed on purpose?"

"Believe what you want but I don't like violence."

"Ah yes, the 'I love peace' idiotic argument. The only peace related thing about you is your name. Irony at its finest."

Shizuo's nod annoyed Izaya in a way that he could not comprehend.

"Yeah, I know how it sounds but I just lose my temper at times and I never wanted to kill anyone. Not even you."

"Remind me to nominate you for the next Nobel Peace Prize."

"I had plenty of opportunities for crushing you and you are a pain in the ass more often than not, but I tried not to hurt you too much. I'd be fine if you just left me alone and didn't bother me in my turf."

Here was completely new and jarring information.

"Oh really. Then how come you dropped by my apartment with this ridiculous proposal of yours?"

Shizuo took some time to answer.

"I've been thinking about it for a while, if there was something not completely bad about you. Turns out you're not entirely fucked up."

"Is that supposed to be a compliment?"

"Nah, just the truth."

Izaya glared then reeled himself in.

"You're not being very consistent. I thought you were A-Okay with letting me fall to my death but you want me to believe that you've been looking out for my well-being all this time."

"Same goes for you. You said that you were flattered that I finally needed you and now you're on freak out mode or something. And I never said I had some special interest in you or anything like that."

Izaya rolled his eyes.

"Heiwajima-san, could it be that you've been reading manga of dubious repute in which this kind of awkwardly unlikely situation ends up in hate sex and then 'eternal love' then I must tell you that fiction and reality are ontologically distinct realms."

"Bet you never lose at Scrabble."

"I never lose at anything."

Izaya had reached a tentative conclusion. A scenario in which Shizuo was deliberately out to sabotage Izaya's street credit. It made sense except for the nearly deserted café. But Izaya's cunning was always sharp when it was at its most suspicious and he was almost sure he could spot hidden cameras. Or perhaps the glimmer on a window two stories high across the street was in fact from a telescopic device.

"Must get real boring for the other people."

"I don't know what kind of game you think you're playing here but you will regret it."

Izaya was on his feet, placing a few bills on the table. He needed not a grand but a suave exit.

"You already lost, then. If you don't know. Since you're an informant. Not knowing is pretty much failing."

"And with this I conclude our business relationship, Heiwajima-san."

Izaya had had enough of this as it was.

"So it's personal from now on?"

"I don't think you understand. There won't be a 'now on'."

Shizuo attacked a strawberry parfait.

"You're real weird, Izaya. You get more scared by a kiss than by nearly dying."

There were times when Orihara Izaya trusted his gut feeling to bypass a crisis. He did so now by getting on the table with a feline's dexterous stealth and forcing a harsh kiss on Shizuo. Fueling deeply seated anger into it. With plenty of teeth. Izaya placed the edge of his blade on Shizuo's throat without even breaking the kiss. He was not even surprised that Shizuo kissed back. Beneath the light taste of overly sugared coffee was the darker undertone of nicotine. Izaya hated both equally. But the high of throwing things off kilter was intoxicating in its own right. And if he was being recorded then so much for that, blackmailers would be unable to have anything on him if he took action himself.

"Who is afraid, Heiwajima-san?"

"I take it back, you're a great kisser."

Izaya wiped a thread of saliva from his swollen lips. He was breathless and euphoric. A wicked smile matched the lurid light in his eyes. Shizuo thought that he looked like a skinny kitty, smooth black coat and all claws.

"Trying to play me is unwise. I'm the one calling the shots."

"Go easy on the biting, though. But I guess that's your style."

Shizuo patted his head. Izaya's triumph deflated immediately. He retracted the blade and bounced. They both ignored a horrified waitress.

"I'm out of here."

"Oh, I know. Next time let's get you a pretty silvery bell to go with the new ring."

Said ring came flying at Shizuo and Izaya was gone in a few strides, nearly elbowing the waitress on his way out.


	4. Chapter 4

Shizuo waited a few more moments. He remembered hearing this old-ish song that stuck to him and asking Kasuka to translate it for him. It went, 'Beware the bottled thoughts of angry young men'. The line had stayed with him. It described Izaya's present condition remarkably well. Shizuo was sorry for whoever crossed paths with Orihara Izaya in the next couple of hours.

With such considerations in mind he went back to the jewelry store to return the ring. He had to rinse his mouth of blood, there was a lot of bite to Izaya. Literally. But Shizuo was no stranger to injuries. A negative consequence of his brutal strength was that it turned against his body as much as on the world at large. Shizuo had seen more than his fair share of hospital time. Growing up was breaking bones. A great slice of the so called best years of his life had been wasted on his back, immobilized in casts, looking out a window and feeling discontent.

Which was not to say that the horrible pet knife that Izaya kept like some memento did not fill him with dread. Not because it was particularly sharp but because of what it represented. It figured that Izaya would use it in this latest chapter of their increasingly convoluted history.

"Your friend didn't like it?"

The store's girl peered at Shizuo.

"Nah, turns out he didn't."

"Say, is your friend single? I don't want to sound too forward but-"

"You want his phone number?"

"If you don't think he'd mind it."

Shizuo knew that he was probably about to sacrifice her but he wanted to see how Izaya would react. Once he started to push Izaya's buttons, he realized that he could not stop. Besides, Shizuo hated shallow people who cared for money like leeches for blood. He had reorganized his schedule for these meetings and since there was no predefined limit to these, he was now left with some free time. Shizuo roamed half-aimlessly for a while until he reached the usual park where he sat on the usual bench.

He could not smoke here either, Tokyo was indeed morphing into a disinfected maze inside which a multitude of rats struggled to find the providential cheese at the center. Shizuo produced a cigarette and inhaled deeply. Dealing with Izaya required he upped his nicotine intake. But it was undoubtedly worth it. For the very first time he felt that he had the upper hand. Izaya's sly tactics were ever throwing a smoke screen. Shizuo thought of Izaya as a novel with so many twists and turns that the reader was lost at every other chapter.

Shizuo puffed in contemplative silence. Kissing a man turned out not to be a traumatic experience. It was his first time, too. As far as irony went, few things fit the bill more than Izaya spinning his wheels over a kiss while Shizuo calmly sat here and thought things over. The problem with being too used to being in control was that failure hit doubly hard.

Shizuo had no issues with screwing things up because he knew all about it. A life-long habit of mastering destructive anger had given Shizuo a certain leverage. It often tottered and ended up imploding but Shizuo knew all about being angry while Izaya was clueless. If it was a battle of knowledge then Izaya was on the losing side for once.

Shizuo looked to his free hand. He could still feel a touch of Izaya's soft hair, it reminded him of cat fur. There was something weird in someone so dangerous being so kitty-like. Shizuo ignored the predatory undertones to this, instead the cat imagery led him to think of Izaya getting more and more entangled in a yarn of wool. It suited him as much as the standard puppet master image did. And Heiwajima Shizuo had a soft spot for kittens.

*

Izaya almost missed the black smoked windowed car and walked past it. It was only until it began to slowly following him that he noticed it. Right away a black window rolled down and Shiki appeared before him. Very cool and collected. If Izaya ever got into the habit of wearing suits, he would most definitely asked Shiki for tips.

"It's been difficult to get a hold of yourself recently."

"I am all yours now."

So Shiki was aware that something was up with Izaya. Apparently this insanity with Shizuo was taking its toll on Izaya's professional life. Of all the people to meet when he was still shaken, Shiki was one of the very worst. It sobered him up immediately, as a shower of icy water on smoldering anger. They were in front of Izaya's house which was good, an accidental meeting with Shiki meant that the Awakusu were keeping tabs on him. Still Shiki could very well call him on the phone instead of meeting in person. Izaya was cautious as he ushered him to the plushest sofa.

"It would be inconvenient if you were to move. I like knowing where to find you."

"Luckily I love my home and have no intention of moving."

Shiki was very aware of this. He recognized the design furniture from his office but he knew that Izaya would be hard pressed to admit any influence. Young people tended to be that way. Especially nowadays. Izaya offered him a cup of excellent green tea served in small traditional cups as Shiki liked.

"Been busy?"

"My services are highly requested."

Throughout the years Shiki had met many informants and knew that they all meant trouble. Orihara Izaya was not the exception. In fact, he was the epitome of trouble-making and had proven more than once that he could stir a scene. Izaya was a liability. A very useful one but Shiki was not sure if Izaya knew that his escape from being lynched by the Awakusu group had been a very narrow one and due to Shiki's influence. Shiki had decided that Izaya was worth keeping around for the time being. Like Shizuo he suspected that it would not last much longer.

"Got anything to do with the money you've been tracking?"

Izaya nodded. He was not one to hold anyone as an idol or to pay homage to anyone in particular but there was nothing false about his admiration for Shiki. It went as far as letting Shiki always have the first and last words.

"It's proving harder than I thought."

Izaya would cut to the chase with anyone else but not so with Shiki. He was eager for an actual business assignment to take his mind off spurious matters.

"Are you taking a break?"

Izaya almost started. Holidays were a luxury that he could not afford. They both knew it.

"Not at all. I am in the active as ever."

"You don't seem be at the top of your game."

Izaya was of course a kid. A gutsy clever kid but a kid for all that. Shiki did not go as far as to consider him as a protégée but he had an interest in Izaya. With Izaya the stakes were always ridiculously high. Shiki dismissed the excessive smiling and affected attitude and Izaya returned the favor in kind by being at his best behavior. Ever since stepping into Shiki's office when he was still not out of his teens, Izaya had adopted a serious demeanor whenever dealing with the man. Shiki remembered very well. Plenty of punks tried their luck with the Awakusu only to end up falling prey to one mishap or another but Izaya was a whole thing altogether. From the start Izaya had a smooth quality to him that made him seem older despite the fact that he had not aged a day since Shiki first met him and even then he looked considerably younger.

You might not know Orihara Izaya but Orihara Izaya was bound to know you. Such a vast network of contacts was highly profitable if you knew how to employ it and Shiki knew just how to do that. He was a bit sad that the time was running out on Izaya.

"I assure you that I am as competent as ever."

Izaya was troubled. Having to state the obvious hinted at pitfalls in his professional conduct. Shiki tossed a few flashy papers on the low table.

"Why don't you take a break after all? Go on a trip. Okinawa, all expenses paid. There's the tickets. Bring someone you like."

Izaya wondered if he was being fired.

"Do you want me to leave town?"

"Just unwind a bit. You've been tense lately."

In other words, shape up and shape up now. Izaya wondered if this was an offer to check in at Hotel Hilbert in which case all rooms were already full but there was sure to be room for him and whoever he chose to take with him. He almost asked but thought better of it at the last moment. A sense of depression filled him. There were always strings attached and picture perfect beach resorts were as much a place of exile as any other place that was not Tokyo. Shiki might as well have given him an oyster to drive the matter home.

"I will consider your offer."

Rejecting Shiki on any grounds was not very prudent but accepting him without at least pretending to have a choice on the matter exposed weakness. Shiki got up to indicate that there was nothing further to discuss.

He studied the layout of the living room anew without having to look around. There was an impersonal quality to it, very much like Izaya himself as far as Shiki could tell. Orihara Izaya came across almost as an abstract entity of sorts, an aggregation of quick intelligence and ruthless intent behind which the individual disappeared. It was not just that the living room was remarkably akin to an office, the bedroom was every bit as stripped of human warmth. Shiki had been in this chamber a few times and noticed the lack of photographs despite other pressing needs.

"You do that."

Izaya saw him to the door. On his way to the headquarters Shiki corrected his idea of Izaya. There was something highly personal and purely irrational to Izaya and that was his feud with Heiwajima Shizuo. And that ultimately made all the difference.

*

Izaya stared listlessly at the tickets for quite a while. Two weeks. Not a long time at all but more than enough for his absence to be noticed. He could always pull a Mikado and control things from a distance but Izaya's power required him to be seen. And unlike Tsukumoya Shinichi Izaya had a limit to the information he could gauge online. The wilderness of electrically transmitted rumor needed to be weeded out on the field with research. Without actual confirmation Izaya was reduced to hearsay.

Speculation was his enemy all around. Very soon the city would be filled with rumors concerning his disappearance. Odds were that most people would believe him to be injured which was not what he wanted. Izaya liked to give the impression that he could not actually be harmed. Illusions were part of the craft. Weakness reflected poorly on his abilities. He went to the extent of being treated by Shinra when need be, simply because Shinra would keep his mouth shut.

Izaya had toyed with the idea of spreading tall tales about his death only to prove them wrong with a flourish but he was saving that for a rainy day. He sighed deeply and sank into the swivel chair. He had moved the tickets to the desk so that he could meditate on his favorite seat with a reminder in front of his eyes. The desire to spin around was nil. He would have to rely on Kida for updates. Kida was the more reliable source in these circumstances but he was known to be selective in what he told Izaya. Overtly lying was not something Kida dared do but not telling all that he knew was a different matter altogether. Also, Kida's personal situation made him easy to manipulate but it also assured that he was highly stressed and too wrapped up to be much use.

Izaya produced his chess board and placed a few pieces on it. Control of his own person was temporarily forfeited so he redoubled his control on others even if only symbolically. He considered Aoba instead of Kida for a whole five seconds. It was one of his personal laws that the more someone was like Orihara Izaya the less trust Orihara Izaya placed on them. He chuckled.

"My, by the same token the person I should trust the most is…good old Shizu-chan!"

*

"The money wasn't fake."

"Yay."

Kadota could tell that Izaya was upset. In an attempt at cheering him up he only made things worse:

"Did Shizuo throw something at you again? Don't worry his girlfriend will talk some sense into him."

Once Kadota became convinced of a theory he stuck to it as if it was the absolute truth and not flimsy conjecture. Normally it amused Izaya. Currently it did not.

"By the way, I'm giving a hot pot party this Saturday. You're invited."

Kadota flinched, flailed and flailed some more.

"Oh, thanks, that's great of you but me and the guys have something planned already. Sorry."

The apologetic smile annoyed Izaya immensely. There was of course no party but everything was going so wrong already that his need for hurting himself propelled him on.

"I see. I'll move it to Sunday, then. And Erika and the lot are invited as well."

Kadota turned a shade paler. He balanced his weight on one leg then the other, scratched his head through his beanie.

"Sunday, they have this anime event and we're all going. It's like, a yearly thing so they can't miss it. Sorry. We'll do a party next time."

"Okay. Name a date. Right now."

Kadota started violently and actually stuttered.

"Er, as in, now? I don't know, I need to ask them-"

"Just forget the whole thing. If you don't want to go then say it. I can spot a liar a mile off, Dotachin. And you suck as a liar."

Kadota gasped.

"It's not like that, I mean-"

"Do you know who is behind Dollars? I'll let you know."

Curiosity won him over.

"Really?"

"Oh yes. Come closer."

Kadota hesitated slightly. Izaya considered stealing the crime fashion of a beanie and introduce it to his switchblade.

"The person who is behind Dollars is…Yagiri Namie."

"I knew it."

Izaya nodded solemnly. It was too easy but he was not quite done yet.

"More, she really liked it when people figure it out. I'm not sure if I should give you her number-"

"Come on now, it's not as if I'm some suspicious guy…"

Izaya pretended to be in two minds about it.

"Okay, I suppose. But I'm doing you a favor because we've known each other so long. And you know, despite what people say she's a kind-hearted woman. So make sure you call her 'Namie-chan'. Truth is, she resents having to be so formal for her job so she likes it when people see the real Yagiri Namie."

"I see. That makes sense."

It was also sheer fabrication.

"One more thing, don't tell her I was the one who gave you the number. Make it look like you found out yourself. She likes men with some initiative. Neh?"

Izaya winked. There was a bitter edge to sweet revenge but he was sure Namie would deal with Dotachin most exemplarily. It served him just right.


	5. Chapter 5

"Me? You want me to go with you?"

"Precisely. Okinawa sounds good, doesn't it? Sun, beach, a wonderful change of pace."

Izaya smiled widely. Shizuo blinked.

"Dunno, you want to go on holidays with me?"

"I'm pretty sure Tom-san can spare you for two weeks."

It was a gamble. After brooding for a while a revelation had suddenly hit him. Letting Shizuo go about his business in Izaya's absence would amounted to defeat, the best way of keeping this from happening was taking Shizuo with him. As insane as it was, Izaya was willing to risk it. Some people would surely connect their dual disappearances from the street (he expected Mikado to burn a few brain cells trying to figure that out), the rest would not, at any rate the truth of his having falling out of grace would be hidden.

"Sure but since when do you ever leave Tokyo? Let alone with me."

Izaya smiled wider and shrugged.

"If you're afraid then I guess it can't be helped. I may just get under your skin if you give me a chance."

Izaya tried to turn the tables and let enough truth slid into his lies to make them solid. Shizuo rubbed his chin, thoughtfully. But he was not following complicated plots but thinking how Izaya looked like a cat about to snatch a mouse. Izaya had bothered to visit him at the dingy office after Shizuo was done with his rounds which meant he was indeed up to something.

"Want to continue from where we left off?"

Izaya had finally met someone with a worse sense of humor than himself.

"Separate rooms, I'm sorry to inform you."

"Too bad. I've been wondering…"

Izaya did not care for this 'wondering' one bit. Hoping that it would go away did not seem wise.

"Heiwajima-san, a quick reminder. If you are under the impression that having sex with someone is a good way of learning about them. let me correct you on that point. Sexual relations do not at all implicate a deeper knowledge of a person."

But they could very well be used to settle dominance issues. Something that he did not want Shizuo to consider too closely. Shizuo was still rubbing his chin in what Izaya was coming to think of as his spacing out mood.

"So you don't know much about the people you sleep with."

"It depends."

"Which ones do you know, then?"

Shiki came to mind immediately, surprising even Izaya. But of course he kept his silence.

"You make it sound as if I am swimming in partners."

"And you're not?"

"Hardly. Don't believe all you hear, plenty of girls make up stories about sleeping with me because it's something of a badge of honor. Oh and more thing. There's a condition to this trip."

"Isn't there always. What is it this time around?"

"Given how generous I am being here, letting you have free access to my person for a whole two week period, it is fair that after this time lapses we will consider our agreement to be terminated. In other words, if you can't learn whatever you're after once that time is over then you probably will never get it."

It was a perfect solution. Getting rid of two problems in the same go.

"Anything else?"

"That's it. You might want to keep it a secret that you're going with me lest Tom-san decide that I am leading poor Shizuo astray, evil Orihara Izaya that I am."

Shizuo smiled.

"'kay. By the way, heard what happened to Kadota?"

"I'm afraid not. Whatever did happen to Dotachin?"

"He met this Goat woman and she hit him. Dunno, sounded real nasty."

"Goat [Yagi]? Oh, I get it now! Tell me more!"

Izaya was already giddy at the mental picture.

"I don't know the details but seems like he called her on the phone and then they met. He said something she didn't like so she kicked him. High heel shoes hurt a lot, he says."

Izaya burst out laughing and kept on going until tears rolled down his cheeks.

"Poetic justice, Goat Woman!"

It had been far too long since he had been this amused. In his mirth he even forgot for a moment that he was being driven from the one place where he truly belonged and about to up the stakes even more. Shizuo watched him until he too was smiling. Not so much at whatever Izaya found so hilarious but at Izaya's bout of oddly placed joy.

"Bet you had something to do with it."

"Obviously not. I plead absolute innocence."

"Right…so what is a Yagi Woman?"

Izaya wiped his tears. His belly ached from too much laughter. He flopped on a swivel chair and slowly spun around a few times.

"Someone who works for you and still treats you like an underling. Bah….bah…"

Another fit of giggles. The wheels squeaked as he went for a fast turn.

"You know, you're kinda crazy. As in, for real."

Izaya braked suddenly and jabbed a finger at Shizuo.

"Like, totally."

*

Shizuo half regretted it the moment they strapped him to the seat. Flying was not meant for people, that was why they did not have wings. Next to him Izaya was humming and smiling at a book.

"Damn, no smoking flight."

Izaya did not lift his eyes from the pages as he offered him pocky.

"There. Pretend it's a cigarette. Just don't set fire to it, please."

"Thanks. What're you reading?"

"The Art of War."

"Ah…"

The plane took off with a bounce and knocked the air out of Shizuo's chest. Izaya's profile was drawn in all tranquility against a mass of whipped cream soft clouds. Shizuo had no idea how someone so tiny could remain unfazed at the sudden pressure change and just overall terrifying weirdness.

"Not used to flying, I gather."

"Not really."

"Ever been to Okinawa?"

"Heard of it."

Izaya chuckled and turned a page.

"I know you brought your passport. Okinawa is Japan."

Not that it made much difference. Izaya's country was Tokyo, his home town was Shinjuku and his favorite city Ikebukuro.

"I know that but I'm no good with laws and stuff. Having documents helps."

"Flight regulations are becoming increasingly stricter, I wouldn't be surprised if we'd be using passports to move within borders one of these days."

"Are you actually reading?"

"Re-reading."

"Still…you're talking and reading at the same time."

"It's called 'multi-tasking'."

Izaya was not killing time, he was seeking inspiration in ancient but very usable wisdom. He fancied himself a master of strategy in its many facets but he was in a bit of a slump. It occurred to him that he should have lured Shiki into his bed before embarking on this oddball journey. Of course whether they did it or not was entirely up to Shiki but it never fail to give Izaya a sense of well-earned peace afterwards. As much as a control freak as he was, he appreciated someone that could take charge in bed. It was merely another expression of Izaya's ingrained selfishness, transferring dominance liberated him to enjoy himself and to simply live the moment to its fullest.

"I've heard of that. Yeah, figured you'd be good at it."

Izaya's smile grew thinner as he placed the innocuous remark side by side his mental reel that currently was going over Shiki's brusquely pleasurable ways.

"Just like you can chase me, carry a vending machine, scream at the top of your lungs and run over kittens at the same time."

"I like kittens…"

Izaya's laughter filled the air.

*

"Wow…we're staying here? Are you sure?"

"What did you expect, a capsule hotel?"

Shizuo was not one to be dazed but walking into the huge brightly lit lobby made him feel considerably awkward. He was thankful that Izaya had convinced him to wear normal clothes otherwise he would stand out even more. Izaya glided to the counter merrily enough. But not for long.

"What do you mean, a single room?"

"We are hosting a conference and I'm afraid it's impossible to give Orihara-sama and Heiwajima-sama separate rooms. But you'll be staying in a suite."

Izaya nearly snapped.

"I don't think you understand. I require a separate bedroom, I don't care how small it is. Give me a closet if need be."

The girl checked a computer and her eyes widened considerably.

"We have instructions from Shiki-sama to the effect."

Izaya forced a stellar smile that eclipsed his eyes.

"It can't be helped, then."

*

With that said Izaya was not even remotely pleased. He flung himself in bed as soon as he arrived at the spacious suite and stayed that way. Shizuo watched him for a while.

"What are they called again…'long cats'?"

"Say what?"

"Heard about it from those kids, Kadota's friends. 'Long cats', it's an internet thing, right?"

Izaya raised himself on his elbows.

"What about them?"

"You kinda look like one now."

Izaya bounced to the balcony and took a deep breath. Salty breeze. The naked sun rolling above an apparently still sea of deep blue. Shizuo joined him.

"This sure is nice."

"There's high speed internet access."

Shizuo did not understand why anyone would get buried in computers when colored light cast translucent angles before the sea. Seagulls hooted happily. Izaya was already feeling Tokyo withdrawal.

"So, wanna go explore?"

"No thanks."

Shizuo could almost see Izaya's being creeping into the laptop. Phantom pixels washed over his face as Izaya leaned closer to the screen. Shizuo whisked the laptop away and held it above his head. Izaya flashed him a glare and tried to reach it with no results.

"Give it back."

"Not gonna happen. I'm here to talk to you, not so that you can chat with your net buddies."

Izaya jumped but the height difference was too great, Shizuo need only hold up his arms and the fabled laptop was unreachable.

"I'm not 'chatting', this is work. Now give it back."

"What, you can't let it go for a few hours? No computer until we get to at least check out the beach."

There was nothing Izaya could do. It crossed his mind that Shizuo would just toss his prized laptop out the window.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the novels both Shizuo and Izaya visited Okinawa when they were in high school, the author chose to deviate from canon on purpose.


	6. Chapter 6

They made an odd pair. Walking along the foaming water's edge, a big man shuffling on the sand followed by a much smaller figure that dragged his feet slowly. Shizuo was not used to ambling on shifting ground. He kept losing purchase and had the distinct feeling that he was not so much walking as avoiding an incoming fall. Izaya had no problems with the terrain but he lagged behind. There was too much weighing on his mind. Shizuo managed to get to steady ground on the wet fringe of sand while Izaya kept on walking without noticing. Before him was the knowledge that he might not have a territory to go back to.

"-swim, right? Izaya?"

"What?"

"I said, you can swim, right?"

"Of course I can."

"Good."

With this settled Shizuo could safely pick him up and carry him into the tame surf.

"What do you think you're doing?!"

"It's kinda obvious."

Izaya floundered a bit but got used to the warm water and lulling motion of small waves. The sounds of the sea mixed with a lot of blue. It was a sensory overdose that razed his mind flat. Schools of tiny silvery fish swam around them.

"Hmm…this is nice. Should've brought a floating mattress."

"You can float just fine."

"Ah, but it's not the same."

Izaya stayed in the shallow water, feeling weightless.

"You think there are sharks around?"

Shizuo scanned the azure line of the horizon. He did not seem particularly worried about it.

"I doubt it but if there are I'm sure you can punch them into submission. And at least Shark Boy isn't around."

"What's up with you and animal people?"

"My love is for humanity."

Izaya ducked underwater and returned to the surface to find Shizuo staring unwaveringly at him.  
Unnerving.

"I've heard you say that a bunch of times, guess I don't count as part of humanity?"

He splashed about to create some distance. Drifting to deeper waters.

"You're a case apart."

"Why?"

Izaya considered how to answer. And settled for the truth.

"It's a mistake to divide people into 'good' and 'bad', it could be even be said to be a category mistake: ethics is not the standard by which to evaluate humans. What makes them tick is what matters, assessing what that is essentially what I do. But you piss me off on a personal level apart from all analysis."

"Oh look, shark."

"Where?"

Izaya followed Shizuo's gaze, already geared to swim away as fast as he could. Arms locked around him before the adrenaline rush died on him.

"Tricked you. Easier than I thought."

Izaya had a terrible moment in which he was sure he was about to get drowned but he realized that Shizuo could keep him afloat, apparently just as easily as he could trick him. Annoyance flared up as he swallowed some salt water which caused him to cough and thus destroy a pointed remark that he had all ready.

"Shit- let go of me already!"

To Izaya's profound relief the hold on him relaxed but he could not bask for long. Suddenly the world became water and the pressure of lips on his was the way of grasping for breathable air- in a flash he remembered that he was literally surrounded by oxygen but human that he was he could not take into his lungs without panic signs surging through his body. Izaya went into survival model. Instinct alone dominated him. He clung to Shizuo without for once being aware of any hatred, breathing through him. Any semblance of a kiss was utterly lost on him and only knew himself as the muffled sounds of water pounding on his ears and his heartbeat beating madly subsided. His eyes were sewn shut. He blinked a few times until he could fully open them to find himself panting at the beach. Shizuo towered above him so that Izaya could only see his legs from where he sat. Izaya took a few deep breaths. He gathered his resolve. Then pulled down Shizuo's swimming trunks and hopped to the safety of dry sand, shrieking all the way.

"Oh no! It's a naked man!"

Izaya made sure to sound mortified. Already a group of people was gathering and pointing.

"How old are you again? And it's like the kettle calling the pot black, really."

In his distress and warped desire for revenge Izaya had somehow managed to miss the rather important point that in the commotion his speedo was missing and that he too stood in naked glory.

A most definite disadvantage. Shizuo saw him falter for a millisecond. Izaya turned around and spread his arms widely, his best smile on. And nothing else.

"Everyone! Today is 'nakedness' awareness day! We are celebrating the human body!"

'We' was not precisely correct since Shizuo lost no time pulling up his trunks. But Izaya did not seem at all bothered, after all there was such a thing as the majestic plural. Linguistic nuances existed for a reason. Izaya noticed a few mothers covering their children's eyes.

"Kids shouldn't be taught to be ashamed of their own bodies. After all, we're all born unclothed. And this beautiful Okinawa beach is a pure Eden!"

Shizuo shook his head. There was a limit to how much a yarn a person could spin but apparently not so much for Izaya. A couple of foreigners, armed with cameras, approached Izaya timidly and asked him in English if this was some sort of Japanese costume. Izaya beamed.

" _Nihon e, yokoso_! I'm sure you have heard of the Japanese public bath, this is in the same spirit! You could say it's part of the cultural experience."

Shizuo wondered what Izaya was blabbering about in English and much more so when the foreigners suddenly up and got naked themselves. Izaya switched languages and addressed the crowd.

"Everyone, let's not let our visitors from overseas feel out of place. Let us show them our legendary courtesy and undress as well."

He had changed the story many times but fortunately people in general were not too great at identifying inconsistency. And this applied tenfold to people in a strange situation. As it turned out, quite a few of the onlookers got naked and somewhere along the line, when the attention had quite shifted from him, Izaya skipped away. All the way to their towel where he had an extra speedo. Unfortunately this was in Shizuo's possession. Shizuo pointed at him.

"'Eeek, it's a naked man!'"

"Very funny, Heiwajima-san. Hand it to me."

Shizuo looked him up and down. Slowly. Izaya gave up and simply wrapped himself in the towel.

"Thought you were celebrating the human body or something like that."

"Thought you were drowning me back there or something like that."

"Nah, just stealing a kiss."

"How rude of you."

"You were the one speechifying in the nude. Got to say, you're one smart bastard. Just very afraid of sharks."

Izaya turned an instinctive glare into nonchalance.

"In evolutionary terms a response to perceived danger is preferable to not acting at all. It has a greater survival value. Our species reached absolute dominance on this planet because our ancestors assumed that the snake-like branch on their path was indeed a snake."

"'Absolute dominance', huh. Sounds very…you, I guess."

"Humans are the undisputed leaders of- get it out, get it out!"

Izaya jumped around frantically. Shizuo brushed a tiny crab from Izaya's leg.

"You were saying? Something about 'undisputed leaders'. Little crab is interested."

Red eyes narrowed briefly. Izaya turned around.

"I'm going back. Too much sun isn't good for me."

"You forgot the sunscreen."

"Why don't you go mingle with the natives while I-"

"No can do. You promised me two weeks together. And that's what I'm getting."

Izaya bought a Hawaiian printed shirt that was absolutely horrendous in its bright orange pattern and purple blossoms. But his informant senses were tingling anew. Standing out from the environment was an impediment to garnering information. He wondered if people on holidays were more likely to give things away. The fact that there was no data of actual interest on this island did not mean that Izaya did not enjoy the process of extracting it.

"Your new clothes are real different."

"Same goes for you, finally not wearing a bartender's outfit."  
Shizuo wore a simple unbuttoned white shirt. They were at a beach café, Izaya sipping iced tea and Shizuo with coconut milk to which he added a dose of sugar. Izaya wrinkled his nose.

"Do you sweeten everything?"

"Sea water is bitter, I swallowed some of it from your mouth."

"I am ever so sorry for you, Heiwajima-san."

"Have you ever felt sorry for anyone?"

Izaya gazed into the distance. The mood changed.

"For my sisters. But I won't go into it. Threaten me all you want, I won't betray their privacy."

"I understand. I never had anything against Kururi or Mairu. I hope you know that. I've hated you plenty but never them."

Izaya chuckled.

"I know that full well. Rest assured you would not be alive if I had any doubts."

It was ironic that it was just when Izaya was overtly menacing that Shizuo sympathized with him.

"You like them a lot, don't you. Why do you pretend not to care?"

Izaya was silent for a while.

"What better way to assure their safety? If Orihara Izaya cares for his sisters then people may take them as hostages or otherwise harm them. But if Orihara Izaya does not care much then no one will bother."

Shizuo wished that he could look him in the eyes but presently the glass cubes in the glasses seemed to fascinate Izaya.

"Your job keeps you from being close to them."

Izaya shrugged and stretched. Too offhand to be offhand.

"Oh well, they're hardly defenseless maidens that need nii-chan to save them."

"Yeah…but I'm sure they miss you. I mean-"

"Don't be too sure about that."

Shizuo got up.

"We're going shopping."

*

Shizuo's idea of shopping was rather peculiar. Apparently it involved going to souvenir shops. Izaya looked at the rows and rows of postcards. Shizuo picked one.

"Neat, pretty sunset shot. What are you getting?"

"Nothing. I don't send postcards."

"That's too bad."

Izaya watched Shizuo slowly fill the empty space on his chosen postcard. Stroke after stroke.

"'Watashi'? So formal. Who are you writing to?"

"Kasuka. 'Watashi' [私] is easier to write."

"Ah, the law of least effort."

Izaya sauntered to the colorful racks of 2D landscape images and selected two.

"Thought you didn't send postcards."

"My sisters like receiving them, though."

With this said Izaya did not know at all what to write. Shizuo was hoping that Izaya would take this step.

"Better send one to Tom as well."

"Just don't mention me."

"Should I send one to Kadota too."

Izaya chuckled.

"Ask him if he's removed the high heel shoe from up his ass."

"He really rubbed you the wrong way, huh."

Izaya still had nothing on his postcards while Shizuo was already signing his.

"Your name is a perfect example of cosmic irony. Did you know that there is some speculation about the character [平] 'hei'? Scholars think that it has some affinity with scales holding weights. But this theory is not held by the majority that believe that it originally represented 'twisting water reed' and 'small', the reasoning being that the weed flattens out across the surface of the water and thus the meaning 'flat'."

"Ah…"

"And [和] 'wa' includes the characters for rice plant and mouth. The rice plant symbolizes 'pliancy' and 'softness', with the mouth character [口] it becomes 'pliant in speech', which is to say, 'accommodating and harmonious'. And of course, [島] 'shima', 'island'."

"Ah…"

"Heh, I rest my case!"

Izaya swung his legs merrily.

"But that's just the family name. It kinda describes Kasuka."

"Oh yes, I'd say Kasuka is very peaceful. But your given name is equally off and on point, if you analyze it. 'Quiet, calm': [静] 'shizu', originally 'beautiful green color'; [雄] here read as 'o', 'male', 'powerful'. The first half is a joke, the second is spot on."  
Shizuo frowned. It brought his eyebrows together in a knot.

"You know stuff about everyone's name."

"Pretty much."

"Use it to pick up chicks?"

Izaya giggled.

"You'd be amazed how well it works. You should give it a go and see. Speaking of which, you talk about me but as far as I know you've never had a girlfriend either. Unless Dotachin is right and we all know that the universe would implode if that were to happen."

"You done writing?"

Changing the subject. Izaya had not even written as much as a greeting.

"I can't think of anything to say."

"Now that's new. Maybe the sun got to your head."

"What did you write?"

"Stuff about this place."

Izaya sighed. He had no interest in Okinawa's many attractions.

"I'll think up something later."

A strange superstitious thought occurred to him and he decided to deliver these postcards in hand.

*

They returned to the suite where Izaya promptly parked in front of the laptop. It was a deliberate provocation. Shizuo simply sat on one of the many plush sofas and let him type away in bed. At length the broke the silence.

"You know, are those long cats for real?"

"I have no idea."

"Hmm…would they be 'nagai neko'?"

Izaya glanced but kept on his fast typing, eyes scanning the monitor.

"You're the last person I'd thought would be into internet memes."

"I just like cats."

"I'm afraid I am not familiar with it. But I know someone that I bet is."

Izaya rubbed his hands before turning the laptop to face Shizuo.

"You gonna find out?"

"We shall see. Behold, Heiwajima-san. Much 'lulz' are about to be had. 'Ftw.'"

"At least the kanji stuff made some sense…"

Izaya laughed. The only good thing about Tsukumoya Shinichi was that he could always be contacted. Day and night. At all times.

[What do you know about Longcats?]

[The original Longcat is called 'Shiroi', she is very much alive. The meme started on 2ch and has created many submemes]

Tsukumoya might simply be a name on a screen in the most literal of senses but Izaya could almost feel him trying to decipher a reason behind this inquiry. Shizuo peered curiously at the mute dialogue.

[Hmm…have you seen this 'Shiroi' in person, then? Or should I say, in cat.]

Invisible typing on the other side of electricity.

[Well, no.]

[Then you can't tell for sure that such a creature exists]

[I never saw you in person either and I know that you exist]

Izaya's eyes grew brighter.

"Watch this, Heiwajima-san."

[You don't know for sure that I exist either. Perhaps I don't. Perhaps no one does. Perhaps you are a brain in a vat.]

Blankness. Then,

[You can't say that you're not a brain in a vat either.]

[Very true.]

[When you say 'Longcat' what do you mean, exactly?]

Izaya laughed.

"Oh my, he/she/it thinks that there is some esoteric meaning behind this. Priceless."

[I mean a cat that is long. 'Nagai neko', if you will.]

[Why are you asking about this?]

[Can you locate 'Shiroi'? As in, an actual physical address in the real world.]

More blankness.

[What is in it to me?]

[Why, proving that you know everything]

More cyber silence.

[I'll see what I can do.]

[Wonderful. Got to run now.]

Izaya wished that he had a swivel chair to spin on. He rubbed his hands anew.

"So much fun. He/She/It will deliver the long cat. If this cat is in Okinawa we will be visiting. Like totally and for real."

Shizuo watched him cackle and skip about a few times. All smiles. Shizuo could not exactly see what the joke was but it did not matter.

"You sure look happy."

"Time is a highly valuable commodity to anyone dealing in information. Getting He/She/It to waste plenty of it on something so useless is epic."

It was Izaya's theory that Tsukumoya Shinichi was two people. One day he would investigate this hypothesis but that was not now. For once his mind was not wrapped in Tokyo or blank with fear. He prepared the Jacuzzi, humming. Izaya stepped into the bubbling water and closed his eyes contently. A sudden wave attacked him as Shizuo joined him.

"Will you stop drowning me already!"

"Can you go back to being all happy? 'Cuz I want to have sex with you and it won't work if you're all bitchy."

Izaya laughed. Apprehensive but not overly so.

"Whatever happened to 'hate sex'? And aren't you a bit too blunt?"

"Nah, just honest."

Warning or not Izaya still trembled as Shizuo devoured him with a kiss.

"I'm not too sure I agree with mixing business with, er, I don't think 'pleasure' covers it."

"Only one way of finding it."

Shizuo was deceptively non-intrusive- a few caresses, followed by some groping.

"Are you actually serious about this?"

"Yeah. I'm the kind that means what he says and says what he means."

"So you admit that you're dumb as a brick."

"You've thought so all along."

It was with an effort that Izaya kept his façade of smoothness.

"I'm having my doubts now. But you're mistaking my competences, I'm an informant. Not a prostitute."

"Not much of a difference to me."

The Jacuzzi shrank considerably with Shizuo in it.

"I may use sex to garner information but never to supply it."

Shizuo studied the random pattern of bubbles bursting through the water.

"You don't get it, I'm going to do it whether you want or not. So you might as well like it."

Izaya's next maneuver was to just make a run for it. He might have accomplished it too if not for Shizuo picking him up and carrying him to bed.

"If you think that you can rape me and still get me to prattle about myself afterward then you are mentally challenged. Stockholm's syndrome won't work on me."

"Izaya? Shut up."

He tensed up immediately, his breath caught in his throat as Shizuo's hands trailed down Izaya's body and taking a hold of his most sensitive part. At which point Izaya discarded any possibility of getting away. It would result in excessive damage. Izaya took a deep breath and tried to clear off his mind of the crushing pressure of fear. All he could do now was to wait in the hope of an opening.

Meanwhile Shizuo was intrigued. He followed every minute reaction and adjusted the speed of his ministrations for effect. It was very interesting. Izaya would squirm slightly and gasp under his breath as a pinkish flush tinged his cheeks. Shizuo watched him closely. Izaya barely noticed, he was too concentrated on gripping the sheets.

"I guess you can keep your mouth shut."

There was nothing kinky about it but Izaya did not cope too well with being teased. He closed his eyes so that he would not glare. Shizuo kissed him almost gently and only parted from his lips to see Izaya orgasm. He licked a bit of semen, musingly.

"More salty stuff. You don't have much of stamina, huh? Must be 'cuz you're so skinny."

Izaya was fully collected in no time. Before he could flee or come up with a snappy retort he was assaulted by a sneezing fit. Shizuo tossed him warm hotel pajamas.

"What do you think you're doing?"

"You'll catch a cold."

"I don't mean that."

"Just wanted to see how much you lasted. Got curious."

Izaya narrowed his eyes and got dressed, slowly.

"I see."

"And you don't last long."

Izaya's first impulse was to snap back but he gave up on that and opted for a shrug.

"Isn't it a shame that I have disappointed you."

"Nah, I'm cool with it. Shows that you're not amazing in all things."

"Are you dissing my sexual performance?"

"It wasn't too impressive but that doesn't matter much. I guess that you can get nervous in this kind of thing too."  
Shizuo chuckled hollowly.

"And you love that."

"Well, it's good that you're human."

"Anyone would be terrified of you and your crazy violence."

Shizuo nodded.

"Yeah, I guess. Why don't take a nap? You'll crash and burn at this rate."

Izaya wanted to protest but pent up exhaustion caught up with him. His relaxed demeanor around Shizuo was a product of a lot of effort and it was taking its toll on him. Izaya rolled on his side and crawled under the sheets.

"I hope that you're enjoying yourself, Heiwajima-san."

"You make a cute face when you come. No wonder girls like you."

Izaya rolled his eyes at the forced cliché.

"Are you going to jump on me like a creepy rapist?"

"Not gonna do that."

Izaya eyed him suspiciously. Even if Shizuo was telling the truth, Izaya disliked the idea of sleeping in the same room as anyone. Izaya's lovers never stayed for the sleeping part. But his eyes were closing of their own accord and he needed some rest. Izaya sighed. Nothing was going quite the way he planned. Intuition told him that he was safe for the night. He let go of consciousness and immediately fluttered away to dreamless sleep. Shizuo watched him. Vulnerability re-sized Izaya to look even more like a kitty. Asleep, Izaya lost even the faintest hint of menace. He slept quietly, bundled up in one of the sides of the massive bed as if for warmth. Shizuo wondered if Izaya needed the trademark fur jacket because he was too cold due to the lack of body fat. Izaya could run like the wind but clearly he was a bit too light. As far as Shizuo was concerned Izaya was scrawny. Like a stray cat.

Shizuo was amused at the picture. Cats were territorial animals and so was Izaya. Shizuo suspected that traveling for leisure purposes was not something Izaya did. Throughout this journey he had noticed an intermittent worry in him that Shizuo did not think had anything to do with his company. Whatever worried Izaya, it had to do with his convoluted dealings in Tokyo and Shizuo was sure that it served him right.

Master manipulators were of course setting themselves up for a grand disaster. Izaya's might very well upon him. Preliminary hints were surely in the air. Shizuo was not exactly eager to pick up the pieces after the inevitable but he found himself wondering what role he had to play once that happened. Somehow the karmic retribution that he had hoped for did not see so appealing now. For the time being he still had many questions that needed answering. And in one way or another he was getting his answers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All kanji references are taken from Henshall, Kenneth G., A Guide to Remembering Japanese Characters.


	7. Chapter 7

"While we're here why don't we go on a tour? To see the sights."

Izaya nodded without paying much attention. He had just spent a couple of hours staring intently at his laptop and chewing on a thumb until he drew blood. At which point Shizuo began to be genuinely worried since Izaya did not even seem to notice the bleeding but kept on scrolling down frantically.

Shizuo wanted to check out the coral reefs and since Izaya did not object it was settled. He almost wished that Izaya would complain as usual but he merely sat in listless introspection as pretty scenery rushed past the bus windows. It was not so much that something had happened in Tokyo that bothered Izaya, it was the complete lack of anything at all. For the first time in his life it occurred to Izaya that he was not all that important in the large scheme of things. The thought depressed him considerably.

"Oh look, you're in the news. Local paper."

Izaya perked up immediately.

"Really now. Do read."

"'Yesterday a man confused crowd with naked stunt. Tourists said that a young man sporting a Tokyo accent appeared naked before a crowd of beach goers. 'We thought that it was an event for TV', some said. The man disappeared shortly after but it seems that a new trend has started as people adhere to his concept of 'celebrating the human body.''"

Izaya burst out laughing.

"See, I'm the ultimate trend setter."

"Looks like it."

"So, where are we going again?"

Izaya had boarded the bus without even bothering to find out. He only revived once his importance was acknowledged even in such a minor way.

"Coral reefs."

"Ah. Is this one of those 'the glories of nature' kind of thing?"

"Just look out the window, it's a pretty place."

They were passing through the green shades of a forest and a swerve of the road revealed a sweep of strongly blue ocean. Izaya fanned himself despite the air conditioning.

"Scenic beauty, like all beauty, is relative."

"I guess…but for some reason people like this kind of place better than, say, rotten suburbs by a dirty river."

"Indeed. Cleaner environments provide a greater chance of survivability."

"Ah…people also kinda agree that you're cute."

Izaya nodded and beamed. It seemed somewhat shallow to Shizuo.

"It's because I match the aesthetic ideal of the age."

Nonchalant yet smug.

"Still think you're too skinny."

"Good thing it's utterly irrelevant what you think, then."

Izaya was still very sore over the previous night's events. Too much to avoid this pointed mention even though he had decided to act as if nothing at all had happened.

"You should eat more."

"Anyway, are we there yet?"

"Nah, still a while to go."

Izaya sunk on the seat. He hated having nothing to do.

"You were talking the other day about how you lost your virginity. Why don't you tell me now?"

Izaya granted him a sly good and smiled.

"It was with that girl that sat across you on our junior high school year."

"Oh."

"The one you had a crush on, I believe. That made it all the better."

"I don't really care, that's just what I'd expect of you. But if you wanted to upset me shouldn't you have let me know about this at the time."

Izaya clicked with his tongue and gleamed.

"It sufficed that I knew about it."

"And afterward? What did you do after?"

Izaya pretended that he had to search his memory. As if he did not remember it perfectly.

"Played pachinko, I think."

"The girl was with you?"

"Er, no. I was on my own."

"Thought so."

Izaya shrugged. He did not particularly care for the inferences that Shizuo was drawing. Each curt nod on Shizuo's part was something of a jab. A change of topic was in order.

"Ah, I'm getting hungry. You keep harping on about food, I don't suppose you got any?"

"I got some pocky."

Izaya wrinkled his nose at the offer.

"Milk chocolate? That's even worse than the normal kind."

"I like it."

"Horrible taste you have."

"You know how it goes, taste in food like taste in other things is relative."

Izaya rolled his eyes and convinced a fellow traveler to share half a sandwich with him. Lettuce and tuna, not altogether awful even if canned food was something of a crime.

"Did that girl like you?"

"Say what?"

"It's pretty obvious you didn't like her but do you suppose she liked you?"

Izaya chewed thoughtfully.

"Possibly. I cannot tell for sure. She must have liked an idea of me, at least."

"What do you mean?"

"You know, 'Orihara Izaya, bad boys are so sexy. And he's so smart, too.'"

"So there's more to you than that?"

Izaya laughed with genuine humor.

"If you didn't think there was then you would've saved your money. And I wouldn't be riding a bus with my arch nemesis."

*

Izaya was suspicious. Going with a small boat into the wide ocean did not strike him as all that wise. But apparently it was safe enough. He regretted not heeding his first impulse almost right away. Waves rocked him about and within half a minute he was nauseous. Unfortunately the boat sped and in no time the shore was a mere line in the distance. Izaya doubled over the balustrade and tried not to throw up when a freak wave drenched him to the bone. He spluttered and coughed, anger adding to his dismay. Shizuo blinked at him.

"Hey, you okay?"

"I'm- not bloody okay!"

"Pretty fish, look."

Shizuo pointed at the lowered area in the middle of boat. Transparent all around it allowed anyone to experience the beautiful underworld wonders of pink coral reefs between which schools of fish swum as ribbons of silver. Orihara Izaya was not at all interested. He felt sicker than ever. And still spitting water.

"Gah…can't this thing turn around already?"

"But we just got here."

Izaya shot him a glare that made him slightly ridiculous. Soaked clothes and hair added to the general impression.

"Fine, you can go watch all the fishies you want and just let me go back."

"There's no point if we're not together."

Izaya managed to gather himself enough to pull himself from the bottom of the boat.

"What do you think this is, a honeymoon?"

"I dunno, you tell me. This was all your idea to start with. I was fine being in Tokyo but you wanted to come to Okinawa…apparently to bitch about everything."

Izaya bristled up. He could not admit that he was forced into exile without at all losing faith but it was obvious that he was not enjoying himself in the slightest.

"I cannot help being seasick."

"Oh look, shark."

"I'm not falling for that twice."

"No really, shark."

Commotion got his attention and Izaya peered cautiously into the see through area. He saw a large shark casually sliding along a bank of seaweed.

"I wonder if you can make sushi out of sharks."

"Can't you just enjoy the fishes without wanting to eat them?"

Izaya humphed.

"Now that's fresh coming from you. You're so big that I bet you'd swallow a great white shark whole."

Izaya's snappy flare was cut off short by a sudden swerve. The boat hit a bumpy stride and once it glided into smooth waters again, Izaya was a shade of deadly green.

"Still want shark sushi?"

"Oh shut up already."

He produced his cell phone for some needed distraction and proceeded to punch the keys madly.

"What're you doing?"

"It's dead! That's the second phone you destroyed!"

Izaya turned the dripping device at Shizuo who had been wondering how long it would take Izaya to figure out that salt water was not good for state of the art gadgets.

"You dropped the other one and I had nothing to do with this-"

"It's all your fault! Everything!"

Izaya was working himself into a tantrum. Shizuo handed him a barf bag.

"Breathe into it? You know, so that you don't go all trippy."

A twitching eyebrow. Izaya's lips became a thin line. He snatched the bag and remembered to check the chip.

"At least this looks unharmed. Where can I get a decent phone in this island, this place is preposterous."

"Oh come on, don't be a bitch. This isn't some desert island and you're not stranded. I'm sure they have all the fancy phone stuff you like."

Izaya thought so too but he did feel stranded.

"Yeah, yeah. You're buying it at any rate."

"Again?"

"Again."

Shizuo sighed.

"Okay, fine. Is there anyone that has died that you'd like to meet?"

"Durkheim and Charles Horton Cooley come to mind. Sociology is a fascinating field."

"Can't you just read their books?"

"You made the question, I answered it."

"This means that you never lost anyone important to you."

"You're forgetting that no one is important to me."

It was not very dignified but Izaya was freezing so he set to wring out the water from his shirt before his teeth began to shatter.

"You don't have to lie about that to me. You know I won't ever hurt your sisters so you don't have to pretend that you don't care."

"Whatever. There is no afterlife so the question is purely hypothetical."

"How do you know that?"

"Neurological science has shown that different parts of the brain are connected to particular mental events. Prodding these can have some very funny results. But this strongly suggests that 'mind' is what the brain does. The moment brain functions terminate there is no sentient life to speak of. Pretty notions of souls surviving death are pretty much demolished. And even without any such evidence there is no reason to believe that such a thing as the soul does exist. Absence of evidence isn't evidence of absence but a very solid indicator nonetheless."

Shizuo had his doubts. He did know that he had never seen Izaya so down when expounding on complicated things. Izaya seemed to be cheered up by his ability to tackle complexity across the vast spectrum of human knowledge but he sounded very depressed. Too much to even conceal it. Shizuo realized that Izaya did not want to believe in what he was saying.

"Is that a jellyfish? So neat."

"Ha, 'jellyfish' is written with the kanji for 'sea' [海] and 'moon' [月]."

"You want to eat them too?"

"Aha, very funny. By the way, there is a type of jellyfish that is longer than Long Cat."

"Think your friend will find Long Cat?"

"Tsukumoya Shinichi is not my friend. I hate his/hers/its guts and I'm sure the feeling is very mutual. Basement dwelling creepos are not exactly the type of people I associate with."

"What kind of people do you associate with?"

"Hmm…I try to sample humanity in its many shapes and forms."

"Sounds like you're talking about sushi."

*

As soon as the boat docked Izaya leaped out which caused him to fall flat on his face.

"Your parkour skills are shot to hell."

His legs had not yet adjusted to non-moving ground. Izaya realized it but it did not make any less annoyed. Shizuo tried to help him get up but Izaya pushed him away.

"Don't touch me."

"'kay."

Izaya was planning on breezing through by bouncing back to his feet. Unfortunately attempts to do this resulted in failure. On top of which he felt sicker now that he was on land than before, the phantom sensation of being adrift added a degree of horror that the real thing lacked. After some struggling he found himself panting, sweating despite his damp clothes and in a very foul mood.

"Are you just going to stand there and watch?"

Shizuo shrugged.

"You told me not to help you out."

Izaya half regretted this. He felt keenly that he was making an absolute fool of himself. Just when he thought it could not get any worse, he found himself throwing up over the pier.

"…shit."

"You okay?"

"No, I'm not okay! Are you completely stupid?"

Izaya did not consciously choose to launch into an attack to divert from his current pathetic condition but Shizuo was aware that this what he was doing. Shizuo brought him a glass of water.

"Here, drink some. It'll make you feel better."

Izaya was going to inform him that Shizuo's jumping into shark invested waters served that purpose so much better but his head was beginning to spin and he did not have the strength to be sarcastic. So he drank the water and did not even complain as Shizuo patted his head.

"You're even more annoying when you're being nice."

"You know, for a Japanese person so suck so badly with boats is a bit sad. Since it's an island nation."

"Fine, take the national pride award or whatever."

Izaya wanted very much to walk away at a brisk pace but getting up was already a challenge. He protested feebly as Shizuo picked up and placed him on a bench.

"You got a fever."

"Go away."

Few times had Shizuo seen someone look so pitiful. He got Izaya some dry clothes and towed him back to the hotel. Izaya's feverish condition worsened so that by the time Shizuo secured him in the room he was half delirious.


	8. Chapter 8

For all his coarse ways Shizuo knew how to take care of sick people. He had plenty of experience being on the side of the injured party (enough to make him hate the way nurses always used 'we' as if they were breezy while he was stuck to a hospital bed) and on the side of the carer as well. Growing up he was the one that watched over Kasuka when he fell ill. And Kasuka had been a rather delicate child.

But apparently not half as much as Izaya to whom a boat ride seemed too much to take. It puzzled Shizuo considerably. He was so used to having Izaya always a few steps ahead, actually looking back with a smirk before launching into on some acrobatic parkour move, that he could not precisely understand why Izaya was so shaken now. But clearly Izaya was not having his best day.  
Shizuo had no trouble getting him to lie down but Izaya needed help to swallow his medicine. His temperature spiked then dropped so that he was adrift in uneasy slumber most of the time, slipping awake for a few seconds only to close his eyes again before having a chance of saying anything.

"Oy, Izaya. Time to eat."

Hotels were marvelous, all it took was ringing a bell and almost immediately warm porridge materialized as if by magic. Shizuo fluffed some pillow to get him to sit and after some hesitation offered him a spoon. Izaya stared at it blankly but after a while he ate.

"I had a bad dream, that I was stuck in Okinawa with Heiwajima Shizuo and sick to boot. I wake up and what do you know, I'm stuck in Okinawa with Heiwajima Shizuo. And sick. Cosmic irony isn't funny."

"If you can make bad jokes then you'll live. Now eat."

Izaya smirked with an effort. His field of vision was a yellow blotch and cold sweat ran down his hot body giving him a horrible feeling of clamminess.

"Wouldn't you be happy if I died."

"Not really, can't talk to you if you're dead."

The food tasted like wet cardboard. Izaya forced it down and made sure he at least drank some water on his own.

"Get an Ouija board."

"Whatever happened to 'no life after death, I know everything'?"

Izaya's eyes shone dangerously.

"Rest assured that if I were to die here I would haunt you forever."

Shizuo could very well believe it.

"Well, you're creepy enough as it is."

Izaya tried to laugh but he nearly choked so he gave up on it altogether. Shizuo placed a pack of ice on Izaya's forehead and prepared to stay up the whole night. He knew that Izaya's condition was not hospital worthy but sick people should never be left without supervision. Not even Orihara Izaya. As dawn began to break the dark skyline and to silver the black sea, Izaya began to ramble in his sleep. Shizuo caught snippets of fever talk, most of which meant nothing to him. Others that made him wonder. He took note of these.

Izaya sank into peaceful oblivion as the sun burst through the dawn with the strength of Southern territories. Shizuo pulled down the shutters tightly. Izaya breathed evenly. Shizuo wiped sweat and water from Izaya's brow. Sleep was the best cure of such ailments. As Shizuo expected, Izaya only woke up around lunch time and lethargically enough.

"How you doing?"

"I had a bad dream, that I was stuck in Okinawa with Heiwajima Shizuo and sick to boot. I woke up and I was stuck in Okinawa with Heiwajima Shizuo and sick, except that was a dream too. So I conclude that I am still dreaming, never mind that correlation does not equal causation…"

Shizuo poked him.

"What the, stop that!"

"See, you're awake."

Izaya rolled his eyes and propped himself on the pillows. He felt very weak but sharp enough.

"Yay…amazing."

Fortunately he could drag himself to the bathroom unassisted and then return to his cozy haven of pillow.

"What do you think dreams are? Since you know so much about brain stuff and all that."

Shizuo made him drink some juice.

"When a person is asleep the brain continues firing up and invoking images, emotions and the like that become what we know as dreams. So basically they're random synaptic events and tend to occur mostly during REM stages of sleep. REM standing of course for Rapid Eye Movement."

"Ah. That's kinda interesting. So of mind is what the brain makes then dreams is the mind running wild?"

"Something along those lines, yes."

"I was forgetting, food."

Izaya nearly bounced out of bed but Shizuo restrained him.

"Ootoro! Delicious tuna, this is what the sea is for! To provide me with ootoro."

Shizuo had to smile as Izaya busied himself gobbling up a few bits of sushi.

"Don't eat too much or you'll get sick again."

"Silly you, ootoro cures everything."

Shizuo nodded.

"Dunno about that but it's better to eat something you like when you're recovering."

Izaya chewed more slowly. He felt a bit at a loss.

"I guess there's no choice, you must try some. Tastes better if you use your hands."

Shizuo hesitated but in the end he took a nigiri from the tray.

"This is pretty good, actually."

"'Pretty good'? That's all you've got to say? Pearls to swine, honestly. You're not doing it right. Here."

Izaya picked a red slab of fatty tuna.

"I said I liked it, what-"

"Say 'ah'. It melts on your tongue. Like this."

Shizuo ended up sucking on the tips of Izaya's fingers.

"Tastes meaty."

"They call tuna the meat of the sea for a reason."

"Yeah."

It was the kind of flavor that needed some getting used to but Shizuo had to admit that it was good. Izaya tried to come up with some snappy remark to break the mood.

"Er, what are you doing?"

Shizuo was stripping, much to Izaya's confusion.

"Didn't catch a wink last night, had to watch over you. You seem fine now so I'm getting some sleep."

"What, you stayed up the whole night?"

Shizuo shrugged.

"Someone had to."

Izaya looked away suddenly. He could not exactly understand this uncomfortable feeling and decided that he must be annoyed at being too much at Shizuo's mercy.

"Ah, well, you can take the bed. I'll take the sofa."

"Just stay where you are. Sick people need to be comfy and there's plenty of room."

Izaya could not quite bring himself to complain. Not even as Shizuo made himself comfortable right next to him.

"Heiwajima-san, you could put on some PJs."

"What's it to you?"

"You'll end up hogging the sheets at this rate."

Shizuo snuggled against Izaya, holding him as if he were a plush toy.

"What the-"

"Nice and warm. No hogging now."

Izaya froze. At length he squirmed a bit. Shizuo's arms were loosely wrapped around him and he could feel contained strength in the solid body so closely glued to his.

"This is a bit…"

"Bit what?"

"Weird."

"Figured you'd be all boney but this is nice."

Izaya was glad that at least he did not have to face Shizuo.

"I didn't know you were such a good nurse."

"Picked up a thing or two taking care of Kasuka."

"Ah. I see. Anyway…thanks."

Barely whispering.

"No sweat."

Izaya managed to relax with an effort.

"So I'm a human hugging pillow now? You've been spending too much time with Dotachin's friends. Hello?"

He turned around carefully only to find that Shizuo was sleeping. Izaya slipped out of bed and tiptoed to the room's safe where he had concealed his beloved knife. Smuggling it into the airplane had been quite a challenge but he had managed. A risk he did not need take but that was the kind of risk he enjoyed the most. He flickered the blade open and crept on Shizuo's unmoving body. Izaya could end it right here. If he slashed the throat deeply he could sever the wind pipe and get rid of Heiwajima Shizuo forever. Izaya hesitated. At length he returned the switchblade to the safe.

"So you can't kill someone who's helped you, huh. You're not completely awful after all."

Izaya started at this but he had a sly smile ready by the time he faced Shizuo.

"Don't be ridiculous. I was just testing you to see if you were really sleeping or not. And it turns out you weren't. Besides, I'd be the prime suspect if you turned up dead here."

Shizuo lifted an eyebrow.

"You're lying. I'm getting something to drink."

Room service brought him a mug of hot milk. Izaya wrinkled his nose.

"You still drink that? What, trying to get even bigger? And please tell me you're not putting sugar in that."

"Milk's good for you. Healthy."

"I think that the milk you drank as a kid had steroids. And you got a mustache."

Izaya was tempted to wipe it himself. He could not comprehend how anyone could mix ootoro and milk.

"If you had more sweet things maybe you'd be less of a bitch."

"That hardly follows. You eat plenty of sweets and your personality is far from stellar."

"Yeah but it'd be worse without sweet stuff."

Izaya chuckled softly.

"Then do keep gorging on sweets! I do not want to see you on a bad day."

"Most my bad days are your fault."

"Hmm…I'm not responsible for your anger issues or for your violent tendencies. I just take advantage of it."

"Yeah. I know. It's my fault that I let you get under my skin."

"Indeed. Aren't you glad we've reached this conclusion."

"Not really."

Izaya sampled more of the sushi tray. Meditating.

"Since we're on a mood of being truthful I might as well tell you that I didn't know you had enough intelligence to actually see that sex is ultimately a mind game. And to turn it against me was a stroke of genius."

He realized that letting unsaid things creep in was more dangerous than bringing them out into the open where they were bound to lose some of their power.

"That's how you see it, huh. You haven't had any in a while. I can tell because your cum was real salty and thick."

Izaya managed to smile.

"Like I said, I don't sleep around half as much as it's believed."

"Yeah but you haven't been jerking off either."

Izaya shrugged.

"I fail to see how this is any of your business."

"It isn't but it means you've been stressed."

"Freud is in the building! But really, odds are you see more action in that quarter than I do."

"Dunno about that."

Izaya giggled and rolled his eyes.

"If not then you're just not trying."

"Girls are afraid of me."

"Let me let you in on a little secret: ninety percent of all hetero and bisexual girls that has seen you go on a rampage has wondered how much of a beast you are in bed. And quite a few lesbians too, I bet."

"If you say so."

"Haven't you heard plenty of girls going on about how much they love you? And a few guys, too."

Shizuo nodded.

"Yeah, I've heard a few times. Didn't matter much. That's just stuff people say."

"More like, the whole world wants to get in your pants."

Shizuo watched him for a while in silence.

"You're jealous."

"Ah, I suppose there's no point to my denying it."

"You're getting better at it."

"At what?"

"Talking to me."

"So you'll let me go now?"

"Nah. You're stuck with me. But I gotta sleep some, tired."

They resumed their former place in bed.

"Ah. You know…at this point it might be weirder that you're not jumping on me. Sex is about power and I think everything we've been doing has been a tug of war for power."

"You want me to? Jump on you."

"Er, no. I wouldn't survive it."

"You do it with guys, don't you?"

"Why yes but no one is quite like you."

Shizuo mused over things that he had just recently learned.

"But you bottom?"

"Why, to think that you'd know about such things. I usually bottom, yes."

"Why? I mean, you're skinny and I guess you could pass for a girl but you're a control freak so I don't get it."

Izaya smiled brilliantly and turned in bed to face Shizuo.

"Ah, there's the rub. The idea that being the party that bottoms makes one passive or disarmed is an oversimplification. It is responsible for those poor misguided otakus thinking that girls are by default the weaker partner in a sexual relationship and there is a reason that these people will die virgins. Reality does not work like that. The politics of desire are complicated. There is a lot of leeway for a bottom to be in charge, in fact, being a coveted object at all gives one power. I hear it a lot that flirty girls are dumb but many of them are intelligent, they know that being wanted is a source of power.  
Before you ask rape does not count because it has nothing to do with wanting the person, it's about imposing yourself on someone else."

"You sure can spin a tale. But it makes sense. So you could still be in control if I did you."

Izaya stretched. Trying to be at ease.

"Not quite. All I was saying applies to people. Humans. You're something else entirely."

"That's just what you tell yourself. You like thinking that you can understand all humans, if you can't figure me out then you need to think of me as a monster. That way you didn't fail in getting a person."

"Are you saying that you're a normal person?"

"Who gets to decide what's 'normal' anyway."

"Society does. Collectively. Whatever strays from a pattern followed by the majority is deemed 'non-normal'."

"Who cares. So I'm not normal. I'm still as much a person as you are. All your talk about human this and human that, it sure sounds like you don't think yourself as a mere human yourself."

"Ah. Is that so."

"But you are very human. You have your freak out moments like everyone else. And you'll come if I jerk you off just right."

Izaya chuckled. Very aware of that there was hardly any space between them in bed.

"That's not really something to be proud of. It's called 'involuntary response to stimuli'. It's obvious that my body would react to stimulation of that sort."

"Yeah. Because you are a person."

Shizuo touched him very lightly, fingertips barely grazing.

"A horrible person?"

"Maybe. But a person for all that."

Shizuo kissed him lightly then with some insistence.

"Do you want to fuck me?"

"You don't seem to be against it."

"I didn't say so."

"You don't have to say it. I'm not blind."

Shizuo kissed him again and moved to nipping his neck. Izaya smiled.

"Ah. Indeed."

He divested Izaya of his remaining clothes without breaking a string of kisses.

"Condom?"

"I didn't bring any. Figured you'd be hovering about all the time so there was no point."

"We'll just use mine, then."

"Ah, I see. You thought that you might as well score some while you're on vacation in Okinawa."

Shizuo produced a condom from the back pocket of the pants he had discarded.

"Or I was planning on getting you. You figure it out, you're the smart one."

Izaya traced the faded scars on Shizuo's chest.

"Either way you're not supposed to keep condoms in back pockets. It says so in the instructions. It can damage them and thus render them less efficient."

"Never bothered reading those."

"I rest my case."

"But I brought this as well."

Shizuo got a tiny bottle from a shirt he had tossed over a chair.

"My, you got lube and all."

"Don't want to use it? I'm fine either way."

Izaya laughed.

"I bet. But I'm not into pain."

This time Izaya initiated the kissing and let large hands roam over his body. It surprised Izaya how natural it all felt. He clambered on Shizuo's lap and pressed against him. Casting aside fears as lust took over. Izaya ripped open the condom with his teeth.

"You're not supposed to do that either."

"Indeed. But I know what I'm doing."

And indeed Izaya handled the preparations in the most perfunctory of fashions. Shizuo did not care for this going through the motions, there was far too much rubbing of heated flesh and not enough payoff. And then Izaya expertly lowered himself until he was straddling Shizuo. Nails bit into strong shoulders. Shizuo ran his hands along Izaya's sides, skin heating up, each delicate rib drawn against it as Izaya heaved slightly. Through the growing muddled feeling in which Shizuo was cast he made a mental note to get Izaya to start eating properly.

"What are you doing?"

Shizuo had slipped him a condom.

"It's not fair that I get to wear one of these rubber thingies and you don't."

Izaya smirked.

"I really don't like you."

With that said Izaya had no problem picking up a steady rhythm, easily swinging his body up and down in tandem with Shizuo's occasional thrust. He remained silent apart from some panting but no moan escaped his lips, not even as they became swollen from kisses bordering on bites. Shizuo took in every detail as his clouded mind allowed him to, from minute reactions as Izaya gathered momentum to the sharpening glint to his blood red eyes that were so close. Izaya was on a pure control high. So much so that orgasm was an afterthought, blazing white pleasure or not. He slid off and flopped on his side, eyes already closing as he pulled off the condom and tossed it aside.  
Shizuo watched him for a while before discarding his own condom and lighting a cigarette.

"You do that with girls and they'll get mad. Falling asleep right after you come."

"Oh…? Maybe. But I never stick around for the sleeping part."

"Thought so."

"And do you have to be a cliché? Smoking after fucking? Gee, how typical."

"My bad."

"By the way, your condoms are boring. Get some with grooves or something next time."

"So we'll be doing this again."

"You're not a bad fuck. And make sure you keep on smoking, each cancer stick brings you closer to death."

"No mellowing after sex? I suppose it'd be weird if you got all sentimental."

Izaya laughed.

"I don't get sentimental."

For all the talk of sleep they were both very much awake.

"And that's a good thing?"

"It would never do if I gushed 'emotion' just because of sex, now would it?"

"Guess not."

"I don't come rainbows either."

"Didn't think you did. Too salty."

Shizuo chuckled and rolled until he was lying on his back, eyes half closed.

"Do you have any more questions for me, Heiwajima-san?"

Shizuo had quite a few but overtiring Izaya might not be for the best.

"Nah, not right now. You should rest some more."

Izaya lifted an eyebrow questioningly and slipped into slumber despite having every intention of staying awake. Shizuo was not surprised. But he did not expect Izaya to cuddle with a pillow and smile contently in his sleep, speaking freely without the bypass of mental defenses.

"Ah, if Shizu-chan died I'd be so happy…happy Izaya…no one would stand in my way, I'd be unchallenged…then…everyone would go to my nabe party. Kobe beef…no, Mishima beef…for my sisters…only need Shizu-chan to die…keep on smoking…"

Shizuo shook his head. It was wise of Izaya not to actually sleep with his lovers otherwise he might end up fessing all of his ever so treasured secrets. But Shizuo suspected that this sleep talk was a byproduct of exhaustion not much different from his fever induced words. And every bit as insightful.


	9. Chapter 9

Izaya made sure to down a glass of milk at breakfast. A very late breakfast it must be said. Having been woken up by Shizuo at the absurdly early hours he claimed to still be too sore from sex and proceeded to laze around in bed. Eventually he called room service and was now happily eating a piece of toast without having bothered to budge from bed.

"See how obedient I am? Drinking milk and all!"

Shizuo could tell that Izaya was fully recovered.

"Good for you. I got a question for you."

"Everyday is Twenty Questions day. Ask away."

"What's the more important human invention to you?"

Izaya mused for a while, thoughtfully chewing on a slab of buttered toast.

"Hmm…that actually is a very good question. I am not sure I can narrow it down to a single one."

"Narrow it down to three, then."

"Writing, electricity and contraception."

"Not the internet?"

"Electricity – and I mean artificially generated electricity – allowed the development of the internet so it's covered. Writing attested to a level of development that allowed for knowledge to be better preserved and transmitted. As for contraception, it revolutionized the world in more ways than one."

Shizuo rubbed his chin.

"Like what? I mean, in what ways?"

Izaya was vague precisely because he liked being asked to go into specifics. He stretched a condom.

"When people think of 'man against nature' they think massive dams but this little piece of rubber is a much more impressive candidate. It might have done more for gender equality than all the feminist rhetoric put together. If women are baby machines then they cannot have a voice in decision making at a social level. But it goes beyond that. Our culture would simply not be the same without contraception, it separates 'sex' from 'reproduction'. If Malthus knew that such an invention would come about then I'm sure it would have spared him many a headache."

"That makes sense."

"More, if the biological drive is for passing one's genes to the next generation at all cost then controlling that and even avoiding it altogether is absolutely brilliant. I'd go as far as say that it represents the true emancipation of our species."

Shizuo turned it over.

"So you haven't got any kids."

"You thought I did?"

"Not really. But there's this kid that's been hanging around 'bukuro. He reminds me a lot of you. Same creepy smile."

Izaya narrowed his eyes slightly then shrugged dismissively.

"Ah, Aoba. So you've met Shark Boy. I know math is not your strongest point but you should know that I could not possibly have fathered someone as old as Aoba."

"Yeah, just saying that he reminded me of you."

"I am sure he would take offense at the mere insinuation. So, did you get this urge to throw a vending machine at Sharky?"

"Nah. But he creeped me out, two of you is a bit too much."

Izaya chuckled.

"No worries, Heiwajima-san. Orihara Izaya is unique and inimitable."

"But you knew who I meant right away so you must know that this Shark Boy is a lot like you."

"He's a wannabe. I've heard this before but I don't think we're all that alike. So what did Shark Boy say?"

"He talked a lot but it's not like he got to the point. Dunno what he wanted."

"Let me guess, you stopped listening halfway through."

"Pretty much. Something about changes and 'the world'."

Izaya chuckled.

"Enough of Shark Boy. I must say, I expected some great crises of conscience on your part. A 'Am I turning gay?' moment of freak out but alas, my expectations were foiled."

"I don't really care about stuff like that. Being gay or whatever."

"That's so advanced of you."

Izaya turned on the TV. And grew a few shades paler. On the screen a reporter gestured toward the still smoking remains of an apartment. Izaya recognized it immediately.

"-residents claim that they heard a loud bang and that the building shook, the incident took place shortly after ten. So far the police have been unable to determine if foul play is at hand and it has yet been confirmed if the owner, an Orihara Izaya, was at home at the time of the incident."

Izaya jumped to his feet.

"Looks like someone's out to kill you-"

"Give me your phone, mine's dead."

Shizuo shrugged but obeyed. Izaya switched cards with the speed of a croupier and paced up and down, phone firmly tucked. A million ideas ran through his mind, each one more alarming than the previous. Shizuo could only catch half of the conversation but it was enough to make him feel a bit sorry for whoever was on the other side.

"Masaomi? I expect you to have an explanation. I know that. Do not waste my time. Again, Masaomi, you are wasting my very precious time. Get to it. Who did it. What are you supposed to do for me? Which you're failing to do. Now, you're going to tell me who did this. Don't 'Orihara-san' me."

Izaya halted suddenly.

"You do realize that this means that you're utterly useless to me? I leave you in charge of something very simple and you fail completely. Oh, I see. Your pal Mikado is behind this, isn't he? He's been after me for a while and finally decided to do something very stupid. Looking after your buddy? Best friends for life? So you don't know that it wasn't Mikado, do you?"

Izaya half gloated but Shizuo could tell he was very close to losing it completely.

"If you like your buddy so much then you can follow him to the bottom of Tokyo Bay. How does that sound? You can then be together forever, literally."

A pause as Izaya seemed to actually listen.

"I get your point. But of all those possibilities you should be able to narrow them down. That's what I pay you for. How convenient! When you want someone to give you a job while you're off gang whoring you're ever so mature but when shit goes down it's suddenly 'Poor Kida-kun, can I haz candy.' Not going to work. You have until the end of the day to find out who bombed my apartment. Got it?"

Izaya was already punching in Namie's number when Shizuo snatched the phone from him.

"Give that back right now."

"Not until you talk to your sisters. I just got connection, Mairu's on the line."

Only now did Izaya notice that Shizuo held the landline receiver in his hand. He took a deep breath before reaching for it.

"Hello- yes, I'm okay. Ah. Sorry to have worried you. I only found out just now- I know. I should've done that, yes. Put her on, then. Kururi, hi there!...please don't cry. I'm fine, left town for a bit. Come on now, you know that there are no phones in the afterlife. Bad joke, huh. Stop crying, please? I really am alright. There, there. It's okay. Tell you what, you girls keep a low profile for a while. Just to be on the safe side. No tomfoolery until I find out what is going on. And don't contact me until further notice. I mean it. I'll give you a plush toy, something cute. I don't know yet- soon. Bye now."

Izaya closed his eyes and breathed in deeply.

"Can you leave for a while? Stop staring at me already!"

"You're upset because your sisters were very worried."

"Way to go, Sherlock."

Izaya was indeed very shaken. He formulated a thousand plans and discarded them. Nothing failed like not having enough information. But he sent messages to Kida and the twins instructing them not to tell anyone that he was alive. For the same reason he did not reply to the many messages. He considered telling Namie but in the end decided against it. He could do that later. Izaya ran out of the room and returned a few minutes later with a new phone. Paranoia made him extra careful lest he be tracked.

Izaya moved to the balcony and turned his back squarely to Shizuo just in case he might miss the point that his company was still very much unwanted. Fortunately he knew his entire phonebook by heart.

"Shiki-san? Would you be so kind as to explain to me exactly why my apartment was wiped off out of the face of the earth?"

"Aren't you glad you took my suggestion now?"

"Answer my question already!"

For once his voice hitched closer to a scream. Izaya stormed back into the room and began to pack which was to say that he shoved random items into the suitcases without even glancing at them.

"Orihara, you don't shout at me. Don't forget that."

Normally Izaya would notice the cold hint of a threat thinly veiled beneath even his very name but normally he did not feel like a hunted animal.

"Everything I own is gone! Someone tried to kill me!"

"Isn't that a given? Informants get killed all the time."

"I'm not 'informants', I'm Orihara Izaya! No one dares to go against me!"

Shizuo could easily see that Izaya was a few syllables from spinning out of control completely.

"Someone does, it seems."

"Find out who did it. Or-"

"Or what? You'll flail some more? You don't give me orders. It's the other way around."

Izaya stopped his frantic stuffing.

"Are you behind this, Shiki-san? Is that it?"

"I thought that 'Orihara Izaya' used his brain instead of making wild guesses."

"I'm catching the first plane back-"

"No you're not."

"Are you banning me from my turf?"

Even to himself Izaya sounded slightly dazed.

"For the time being. You're as safe as you can be in Okinawa on top of which you've got a bodyguard."

Izaya narrowed his eyes and glanced at Shizuo.

"You knew that someone was out to get me. What game are you playing here, Shiki?"

"Just stay where you are."

And before Izaya could ask anything else the line went dead. Izaya stared at the phone in silence long enough for Shizuo to wonder.

"I-za-ya-kun?"

"Are you in on it too?"

"In on what?"

Izaya exploded.

"Don't play dumb! This, this plot or whatever it is! Did they hire you to kill me?"

"Huh? Who's 'they'? You're sounding crazy now. Why would I bomb your house when I know you're not even there?"

"I don't know. You tell me."

Shizuo shrugged.

"Anyway, whoever tried to off you will probably make a move soon. Just use your sources to-"

"Are you telling me how to do my own job?"

"Looks like you need the help."

Shizuo was prepared for an attack but he was taken aback when Izaya burst out laughing.

"It does look that way, doesn't it!"

Izaya abandoned the suitcases and settled in front of the laptop, stretching his finger dramatically.

"You back to the land of the sane?"

"Indeed. Now, let us see what is going on, who is hating on me and who I have to get rid of for good."

Izaya realized that he wanted Shizuo by his side. Not so much as a protector, he was not about to accept that, but as an audience. Izaya's ego was bruised and he needed a way of making up for the sudden blow. He typed some and then folded his hands, eyes shimmering in the monitor's glow.

"Look at that, my 'death' is the topic of the day. Hmm…plenty of gloating going on. Crying fangirls, as is to be expected."

"So this is the chatting thing I hear about."

"I'm logged in invisibly, an extra precaution but still."

Izaya could not see Kida which meant that he was using another alias or pursuing some other online route or on the actual streets. Or of course loitering about. In which case Izaya would make sure that he regretted it immensely.

"You know these people?"

"Yes and no."

Shizuo could hardly keep up with the fast sliding rows of characters on the screen.

"You mean you kinda know them or…?"

"I know some. But not the rest. It doesn't matter, I'm just getting a feel of the field, so to speak."

Izaya was breaching his rule of not mixing Shizuo with work matters but he did not even care.

"How can you tell that they're telling the truth and not just making up stuff?"

"I can't. Not at first, at least. I gather raw material this way and then sift it at my leisure."

"Doesn't that take like forever?"

"Maybe now you can appreciate that I am indeed a busy man."

"Ah…"

"At times I get a gut feeling of what leads to follow. Another way of going about it is to make something of a word cloud or weighted list to get an idea of the rate of dispersal of each rumor. But of course that in itself means little. Commonly held rumors are often nothing more than that. There are also the idiotic ideas that I can discard off hand. Like this here, 'Heiwajima is also gone, maybe it was a double suicide'."

Shizuo blinked.

"A double suicide…? That is pretty fucked up."

"Trolls got to troll. Or maybe it's a genuinely dumb person. The internet has a very high percentage of stupid people."

"Trolls?"

"Individuals that get their kicks from being annoying pricks online."

"Like you? Except you're like that normally."

"So funny."

"'Without Izaya I just can't live.' Is this person 'trolling'?"

"No clue. For their sake let us hope so."

"You don't know who this is?"

"It could be a great number of people. 'Has anyone seen Izaya's blonde kid? He also disappeared, maybe he's the one that bombed the apartment?' At least Masaomi is being quiet, I was afraid he'd cause too much a commotion."

"Don't these people have better things to do?"

"Like going around beating the living shit out of everything that moves, Heiwajima Shizuo style?"

"I mean like hobbies and the like."

"Wasting an absurd amount of time online already qualifies as a hobby. Oh look who just joined the party. Good old Mikado. 'I hope that Izaya-san is alright'. Really now."

Shizuo could not see how Izaya managed to keep track of all the rapid chatter, staring at the screen was giving him a headache and he was glad that Izaya had taken to himself to read out loud the juicy parts.

"How about the guy that's looking for Long Cat? Is he there?"

"Tsukumoya Shinichi can always be found online but you have to go to him/her/it first. I'll check him later."

"Cause he might figure out it's you? And that'd be bad."

Izaya was too focused to even be angry at the jab.

"Precisely. You'd think that plausibility is a flawless standard but not quite. For example, is the fact that there is a headless rider loose in the streets of Tokyo at all plausible? And yet it is real. It's funny how much information gathering is like a flow chart. Do you know what a flow chart is, Heiwajima-san?"

"Kinda. Tell me."

Shizuo had the clear impression that Izaya was in a mood of expounding. Some people might fish for compliments, Orihara Izaya fished for opportunities for going off on ego trips.

"A flow chart is a diagram representing a process of decision making in which options are connected by arrows. For example, you start with a problem along the lines of 'printer is not working' will have 'is printer plugged to the electricity' as an option. If 'yes' then you move to, say, 'is printer connected to computer' and so forth. In my humble opinion flows charts would make better 'help' tip for computer related issues than the bullet point option that makes it difficult to follow multiple possibilities simultaneously. Like this."

Izaya showed him an example on the screen. Shizuo rubbed his chin.

"I get it now. But is getting information like this?"

"In a way. A good informant is not usually he who gets a major scoop as much as the one who followed the right arrows with the information that is floating for anyone to grasp. For example, there are many people logged into this chat room and the public forum is open to everyone. But rest assured only a few will be able to filter the noise to get to the truth. That's where I come in."

Shizuo nodded. He goaded Izaya on with the nod.

"I see."

"Part of it is of course instinct. How many would seriously follow 'yes' to something apparently as self-refuting as Celty's existence? You have to think outside the box but more than that you need something more than just intellect. This is why Dotachin completely fails. He has a knack for believing the wrong information. It is even astonishing, by pure accident he should get it right at least on occasion. Of course he knows that trusting me too much is unwise and he is smart enough to know that completely disregarding what I've got to say may be as unwise. But to the question, 'Should I believe Izaya that Yagiri Namie created Dollars' he followed the 'yes' arrow. Which directly led to a sharp high heel hitting him and to much pain. Cause and effect, Heiwajima-san. Cause and effect."

Shizuo ignored the computer screen. He was not one to multitask.

"You let people screw themselves over."

"I exploit people's weaknesses, yes."

"Got a list of suspects yet?"

"The usual ones. But I have a bit of a predicament."

"A what?"

Izaya jumped to his feet, stretched and picked up the phone.

"Reception? I need a swivel chair and I want it yesterday. On the double."

Izaya walked up and down until it arrived and then readily perched himself.

"So much better. 'Predicament', Heiwajima-san. It means that I have a problem in my hands. My prime suspect just so happens to be a person who knows that I am not in Tokyo. Namely Kida Masaomi. And why did he get to that hardly enviable pole position? Very simple: he hates me intensely and would love to get rid of me. On the other hand, he knows that he needs me. So for the time being, based on these both coordinates that meet at point 'Kida didn't do it', I'll write him off the list."

"Just for the time being?"

"If I have new data then I'll act on it. Now, something is bothering me. Why isn't whoever did it on the move? It's not as if this is a person that is afraid of causing a lot of chaos so I hardly think s/he/it would lie down in the shadows. So X (to save time) may be waiting to make sure that I am indeed dead. Which immediately makes me think of two suspects: Mikado and Tsukumoya Shinichi. Both are smart enough to wait it out and make sure. But I think that creepo can be removed from the list."

"Why? Doesn't he hate you?"

"Of course. But s/he/it wouldn't get off on actually physically eliminating me. No point. He needs to beat me in the arena where he excels, information gathering and manipulating. The day Tsukumoya Shinichi finds a kernel of information that I failed to see and makes sure that I know that he knows then to s/he/it I am as good as 'dead'. I actually think he might be sad now, if I'm dead then he'll never know for sure that he could beat me."

Shizuo nodded.

"And the other one?"

"Ryugamine Mikado. 'Would Mikado kill me?' 'yes'. No doubt about that, he'd probably kill just about anyone that is not Anri. And even that, give the boy some time and you may see him realize that he has to get rid of her for 'the greater good'. The question is not would he kill me, is has the tried. Mikado wouldn't act without a perceived reason. In other words, he wouldn't kill me unless he believed that he had a reason to do it. Something specific. Just hating me isn't enough. But no one can quite tell what Mikado would view as a reason. All it would take is for someone to whisper into his ear that I'm hurting poor Masaomi."

"So basically plenty of people would dare to kill you. I thought you said otherwise just a while  
ago."

Izaya smiled wickedly, lacing his hands together and resting his chin on them.

"That's a point in which I differ from Mikado. I know reality and change my tactics to fit it. Mikado is not the type to blow up things as much as he is to make people disappear. Why blow up my apartment when a stab in a dark alley would fit the purpose so much better? More, stabbing me repeatedly would kill me for sure. Mikado would make sure he saw the body, he might even toss it into Tokyo Bay. He wouldn't make it a show unless he made public my 'crimes' in some way. In other words…whoever did it likes attention. To make a fuss. Which leads me to one question: what exactly did Aoba tell you?"

"The Shark kid?"

"The one and only. Try to remember."

"Like I said, something about changes and the world."

Izaya spun slowly.

"Hmm…interesting. What do you think of when you think of 'the world'?"

"The planet, I guess."

"Pretty blue planet as seen in those space pictures? I thought so. The interpretation is very telling. You are into natural things as it is."

"Isn't that what everyone thinks of?"

"Not at all. To me 'the world' that comes to mind immediately is the realm of human interactions and perceived phenomena. Atmospheric elements and the like are only relevant insofar as they affect the species either collectively or individually. To me if a tree falls and no one ever finds out about it then it did not fall at all. Which is not to say that I am not concerned with the environment, I fully support a sensible policy in that area but not out of some respect for our planet. I care for the environment because it is my support system and one that I need to survive. My approach is teleological."

"Point being?"

"The point is, what does Aoba mean when he says 'the world'?"

"Dunno. But probably not the planet…"

"Precisely. If his concept of 'the world' matches mine then these changes he spoke of could very well be my demise."

"Yeah…that makes a lot of sense."

Izaya twirled a pen. Very fast, blurring in the air.

"Have you heard of 'confirmation bias'?"

"What's that?"

"It's the greatest sin an informant can commit. The very human tendency to follow information that confirms a belief while unconsciously disregarding all sets of evidence that contradict it. You see it all the time. It explains answered prayer, you count the times your mental request was 'answered' and forget all the times it was not. It also explains superstition. The result is a complete skewing of perception if one is not careful."

"And that ties up with Shark kid because…?"

"It is highly convenient for me that Aoba is behind this. Perhaps too convenient. Of course, 'Would Aoba kill me' can be safely answered with a 'yes'. I believe that he is the most likely to have done it, he hates me more than enough and even seems to have hinted as much to you. But am I thinking along these lines because I do not want Kida or Mikado to be responsible? I wonder."

"Does it matter much? Are these kids your friends or something?"

Shizuo wondered if they were invited to the fabled nabe party.

"Friends? Heh, no. But Kida is my greatest human asset. He is too valuable, I must at all times keep him in check lest he finds out just how much I rely on his talents. Unfortunately, if he tried to kill me then I will take him down. As for Mikado, it would be just as bad. I can't trust Kida when he is concerned and if I had to kill Mikado then I suspect that I'd never be able to use Kida again. I'd have to kill Kida as well. So both possibilities are lose/lose to me. It follows that I would be reluctant to pursue these and follow other lines of thought…namely Aoba."

"So because you want him to be it you're afraid of thinking he did?"

"I am afraid of letting my bias interfere with my reasoning. And of course it could be someone else entirely."

"Aren't you missing something here?"

Izaya narrowed his eyes.

"Such as?"

"Such as, what if it's an accident? Maybe no one's out to get you."

Izaya almost started. Such a possibility had not even occurred to him.

"Are you saying that of all the many apartments in Tokyo mine just happened to accidentally explode?"

"Well, it could happen."

"It is highly unlikely."

"But not impossible."

"True. But my apartment is less likely to explode than most. The maintenance is topnotch. Unlike those slums where you are happy to live."

"Yeah but my 'slum' didn't blow up…you're the one without a home now. Sucks being you?"

"Gloat some, why don't you."

"You kinda like this Shiki guy, don't you?"

Izaya blinked rapidly.

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"Slept with him?"

In a split second Izaya decided to try something.

"No."

"You're lying."

"Not this again! Your magical sixth sense again?"

"Nah, you told me."

Izaya blinked again.

"No I didn't. What are you talking about?"

"Yes you did. You just don't remember."

"I keep track of everything I say."

"Not when you're feverish you don't."

Izaya grew considerably paler.

"What did I say, exactly?"

"How does it go again, 'divulging vital information to an enemy' is stupid. Or some shit like that. I may let you know one of these days."

"That's an infringement on my privacy."

"How is that any different from the shit you do normally? Except you're the one getting the short end of the stick now."

Izaya had to refrain a clipped remark.

"I don't have the time to waste with this now."

Shizuo picked up the laptop and stored it away.

"You're taking a break now. Not like you were doing much anyway."

"How would you even know."

"Was Shiki the first guy you did with it?"

Izaya tapped his foot on the floor, impatiently.

"It's none of your business."

Shizuo ignored the almost visible annoyance and impatience beaming from Izaya.

"It must have meant something to you or you'd talk about it. I mean, you had no problems telling me about your first girl so-"

"That's it, I'm out of here."

"I'm on to something, that's why you're freaking out."

Izaya was already on his way to the door and he had to force himself to turn back. He folded his arms.

"Ah yes, you've found my deep dark secret. Whatever will I do know. Truth is, Shiki-san and I have an exchange diary. The love is deep!"

"Make fun of it all you want. So you have a thing for this guy, what's the big deal-"

"Get something through that thick head of yours. I don't 'have a thing' for Shiki-san or for anyone else. Got it?"

Izaya went as far as jabbing his index finger in Shizuo's chest with the last words.

"You're really freaking out. What's the big deal?"

Izaya shrugged with an effort.

"Okay fine. If you want to believe some silly theory then go right ahead. I can't stop you from believing in stupid things."

"Really?"

"Do as you like."

"'kay. I'll ask what Shiki thinks about it."

Izaya gasped.

"What?"

"If you're fine with whatever then I'll give him a call. Ask him what he thinks about you having a crush or whatever it is."

Shizuo could see Izaya switch into predatory mode right before his eyes. It was a certain tensing of his entire frame and a glint to red blood eyes.

"You wouldn't dare."

"If you're looking for this I took it a while ago."

Shizuo brandished the switchblade. Izaya nearly jumped.

"How did you get it?"

"You don't see much around you when you park in front of the computer. I just took it while you weren't looking."

Izaya threw up his arms.

"What do you want from me now?"

"Simple. Just tell me about your first time with this Shiki."

"What does it even matter!"

"When you're getting information about someone, don't you study stuff like what kind of sexual partner they like?"

"Whatever, let's just get this over with and put an end to your delusions."

"Don't lie to me. I'll know. If you do lie I'll call Shiki."

"I'll be ever so truthful."

"Who was the first guy you did it with?"

Shizuo motioned him to bed and Izaya sat on a corner. Izaya considered all of his options and reached the conclusion that it was a case of damage control at this point.

"Shiki-san. Are you happy now?"

"And when was that?"

"Shortly after I finished high school."

"And why?"

"Why what?"

"Why did you have sex with him. With you sex has a bunch of reasons."

"I hardly remember."

Shizuo reached for his phone.

"Okay, okay, calm down. It's coming back to me now."

"Good."

Izaya was silent for a while. He did not want to indulge in reminiscence but there was no other option.

"Because I admired him."

"Why?"

"'Why', 'why', you're like an annoying kid. I suppose that I admired Shiki because he seemed to always so in control of everything."

Shizuo nodded.

"And how did you go from business, whatever that is, to rolling around in bed?"

"I asked him for it."

"Just like that?"

"Just like that. Surprised?"

"Kinda. Thought it would be more complicated. You love your mind games as it is."

"Indeed I do but Shiki-san is on another league altogether."

Shizuo pieced together a new image of Izaya.

"And how did it go?"

Izaya smiled faintly at the memory.

"I couldn't walk for a whole day afterward but it was worth it. More than worth it. No pain no gain, as the saying goes."

"So you took the first step."

"With domineering people you have to take the initiative if you want to have a saying edgewise."

"Interesting. Didn't know you admired anyone."

Izaya shrugged. He resented 'interesting' applied to his person, it placed him in the same tier as those he examined. It lowered him.

"And Shiki-san is very sexy. I knew that I wanted him the moment I saw him."

Shizuo took a drag, blowing out smoke thoughtfully.

"And you trust your first impressions?"

"Of course. Also, there's something about experienced men. Shiki-san knows what to do in bed."

Shizuo puffed in silence for a while.

"You know, I don't really like it when you talk about other men like that."

"What? First you ask me about it then you complain about the answer?"

"Why do you think it's like that?"

"Like what? How should I know why you don't like whatever."

"Isn't that part of your job?"

Izaya rolled his eyes.

"Okay, fine. I'd say that it threatens your position as an alpha male and unconsciously you can't help but dislike it."

"That's your best guess?"

"What else is there?"

"You're not trying very hard, are you."

Izaya thought about it.

"Maybe you're the kind that just doesn't like the thought that someone you've had sex with prefers another person. Hurts your 'manly pride' or something along those lines."

"You think that's it? You're pretty much saying the same thing in different words."

"I don't know. I can't understand you, you're like a wrench that keeps getting jamming my mechanism at random intervals. I have no clue what goes in that brutish mind of yours."

"Try."

"You're at a sensitive person at heart and your delicate heart can't handle it!"

"And why don't you want this Shiki to find out that you like him?"

"Because a) I don't like him, how many times do I have to repeat myself and b) it would upset the balance of my working relationship with him."

"B), huh. A) isn't true anyway."

"Since you're so interested on the subject, let me tell you something. Having sex with someone one 'loves' may be all about 'loving' but having sex with someone one admires is an ego trip. And I admire Shiki-san."

"So basically you're selfish as ever?"

"Precisely."

"You didn't seem too happy about him just now."

"Of course not, I'm in a horrible pinch and you're not cutting me any slack."

"We're not exactly buddies."

Izaya sprawled himself in bed.

"I know that."

A chime nearly had Izaya jumping out of his skin.

"Calm down for a sec. It's just room service."

Shizuo opened the door to a masseur. Izaya eyed the newcomer suspiciously. It annoyed him considerably that Shizuo could make calls literally behind his back without his even noticing, it was almost as bad as his switchblade being confiscated. But Izaya ended up lying on a special table and in no time he was floating in the air. Shizuo watched him visibly relax by the second and chuckled at the sight.

"Ah, tip the man! That was nice."

"Feel less jumpy?"

Izaya stretched and wrapped himself in a fluffy white robe. To Shizuo he looked more like a kitty than ever.

"I'm in a stressful situation."

"It's probably your fault."

"See, this is why you're a killjoy."

"I'm not the one with no friends."

Izaya rolled on his back.

"Whatever."

"Was sleeping with me that bad?"

"Hmm…not really. You've got the raw material, with your body you don't even have to do anything to be a good fuck."

"I don't mean the sex. I mean actually sleeping."

Izaya shrugged.  
"I don't really know. I am not conscious when I am sleeping."

"Yeah, but that's kind of the point. You snuggled with me in bed."

Izaya made a show of rolling his eyes.

"So what, I was asleep. I didn't know whether it was you or someone else-"

"I know. That's what I'm saying."

"I don't follow."

"You say you don't need anyone but you cuddle when you're asleep. It means that you try to reach out for someone when you're sleeping in that empty bed of yours…so you really are lonely and kind of sad."

"Yeah, yeah. I'm looking for true love down deep. You've found me out, whatever will I do now!"

"Acting like a bitch doesn't make your case, you know."

"Will you go away already!"

"I'm not going anywhere until I get all the answers I want."

"I know you're up to something. Don't think I haven't figured that up, I just don't know what exactly."

"Like you know that someone bombed your apartment?"

"Someone did bomb my apartment. Are you confessing to plotting something?"

Izaya tried to toss the question without showing any anxiety.

"I'm not confessing anything. For all you know it was an accident and you're spinning your wheels for no good reason."

"Aha. It could be that you dragged me on that awful boat ride on purpose to get me sick and then play a sympathetic card by taking care of me with bonus points of having me tell you things against my will."

Shizuo blinked a few times.

"You better watch your paranoia. There's no way I could do all that."

"It is within the realm of possibility."

"What and an accidental explosion isn't?"

Izaya's entire body seemed to twitch.

"It's not an accident, I know as much. Because Shiki-san said-"

"And he wouldn't lie to you?"

"Why would he?"

Shizuo took his time smoking a cigarette and watching Izaya clench and unclench his hands repeatedly.

"Ever heard of, what's it called again, 'confirmation bias'?"

Izaya did jump at this point.

"Because I don't want Shiki-san to be behind it I didn't follow a lead that could take me to that conclusion. Is that you're saying?"

"Have you considered it in that light?"

Izaya had not. And that alone was a defeat.

"I did consider him a suspect."

"But you didn't think about this bias thing. Why not?"

"Because confirmation bias is at its strongest when you are not aware of it. In fact, it only works if you are unaware of it."

"Yeah but didn't you think of it?"

Izaya paced back and forth. The robe swept open and floated around his revealed body, Izaya did not notice it.

"The greatest motivator of confirmation bias is emotional reinforcement."

"In other words…you like the guy."

Izaya halted and bit his lower lip, deep in thought.

"It does not make any sense, he could kill me easily in a thousand other ways. Unless- unless he wanted me here in Okinawa. To remove me from the scene and take over my turf completely. If so-"

Izaya lurched to the cell phone.

"Masaomi? I know, your time's not up yet- that's not it. Do not look into Shiki-san. It's good news for you, I bet you're not overly eager to do it in the first place. Go underground as much as you can. And be very careful. I mean it. What?"

Izaya spun around and reached for the laptop. Shizuo allowed it. In no time Izaya was scanning the screen and full swing in multitasking, talking on the phone and scrolling madly. Perched on the swivel chair.

"I see it, yes. But isn't this just what Mikado would do if he wanted to cover his tracks? Oh, he told you he didn't do it! My, I am completely convinced now! Are you familiar with 'confirmation bias'? Good. I'll contact you later."

Shizuo peered over his shoulder into the screen.

"A manifesto?"

"Dollars official site- now that's a contradiction right there- announcing that the organization condemns the 'act of violence' against my person."

"I see. So you think that this does more to prove the guy behind Dollars did it than clearing him."

Izaya ignored the message altogether.

"'Would Shiki-san lie to me coldly and seek to destroy me in an elaborate scheme?' 'yes.'"

A forlorn note to his voice.

"You don't like that idea."

"Of course not. Shiki-san is a power player, I don't like my odds against someone like that. At all."

"But that's not it, isn't it? This Mikado kid is pretty powerful too. It's more like…you feel betrayed and it sucks."

"Stop the psychoanalysis babble. Shit."

"Why are you calling off your investigation on Shiki?"

"Because if he is behind it the only thing I have going for me is that he does not know of my suspicions. I doubt that Masaomi would put his neck on the line anyway but it's better to be safe than sorry. And it's not as if he'd be able to find anything important in this case anyway."

Izaya slumped on the chair. Shizuo turned it slowly until he was facing Izaya.

"You know, I've spent a lot of time thinking about you. Ever since we first met."

"Now that's not healthy. Obsessing over someone you absolutely loathe."

"It isn't healthy at all. But that's the way it is."

"Nothing makes any sense. You're acting far too weird."

Izaya rubbed the bridge of his nose.

"I don't like it either but I always end up going back to you."

"In all fairness you do have reasons for hating me as much as you do."

"Why don't you try seeing through my eyes instead of hovering above like you're too smart for us mere mortals?"

Izaya gave him one hard stare.

"I can't do that. You're too bizarre."

"I'm pretty normal. Either way, as things stand, I may be the closest thing you have to an ally at this point."

"Ah."

"Did you think about Shiki when we did it?"

"What does it matter to you. You seemed to like it just fine."

Shizuo puffed some smoke at him and immediately Izaya was doubled up on the chair, coughing.

"Fucking hell-"

"I want to know and you're going to tell me."

Izaya wiped tears from his eyes, smoke still stinging.

"What, and if you don't like the answer you'll go all crazy rapist on me?"

"Do you like it when the people you do it are thinking about someone else?"

"I could not possibly care less."

Shizuo nodded as if this settled something.

"So that's the way you are. Even with Shiki?"

"When did this become 'The Izaya and Shiki-san' show anyway? Do you have some voyeur tendencies and get off on imagining me with him?"

"You don't really have a clue, do you."

"I've been saying for a while now that I don't get you. What, it's Shiki-san you have a thing for? Everything is so weird that it wouldn't surprise me at all."

A few moments of silence.

"You still haven't answered me."

"Shiki-san thinks of me when we do it."

"So you want it to be personal between you two."

Izaya made as if to jump off the chair and Shizuo kept him in place just by applying some pressure to his chest. A reminder of the discrepancy of strength. Izaya's glare was sharp and cutting.

"If I did not know better I'd think that you are jealous."

"Did you think of him when you did with me?"

Frustration added up to a feeling of helplessness.

"Oh yeah, I was drawing mental comparisons the entire time."

"Are you trying to provoke me?"

"You figure it out."

"That's not very smart of you."

"I'm getting sick and tired of this. Stop playing games with me already!"

Shizuo smoked some more.

"Next time you'll be thinking of me and of me alone. Think about how much you hate me, I don't care. But you'll be thinking of me."

"The rape card again?"

"Didn't have to rape you the first time around."

"Tch. Whatever."

Shizuo kissed him, softly. Izaya wanted to claw Shizuo's eyes out.

"Raping you would be too easy anyway."

"I hope you're enjoying your fucked up revenge, Heiwajima-san."

"Drop the '-san', it's getting annoying. Worse than 'Shizu-chan'."

Izaya glowed as if suddenly vindicated.

"You hate my pet name for you."

"Want me to 'Orihara-san' you?"

Izaya folded his arms.

"Hmm…actually, that may be a good idea. Do give it a go."

"You're kind of cute, Iza-chan."

"Trying to rile me up?"

"It fits you. You're small and pretty. That spells '-chan' to me."

Izaya shrugged.

"If you expect me to get all upset you have another thing coming."

"So I can '-chan' you. Good, that settles it."

"Yeah, yeah."

"Imagine you knew you had two weeks to live, what would you-"

"Are you threatening me?"

"Again, watch the paranoia. I'm on this to ask you questions."

"So it is purely hypothetical? Forget it, you don't know what that means anyway."

"It's just a question."

"Suddenly, Ikigami. What would I do…what would I do. Spend some time with my sisters. Read a lot. Do some traveling. Get laid. And then I'd kill myself."

"Kill yourself? Why?"

"I wouldn't let something kill me. If I can't fight it- and in this scenario of yours I can't- then I'd take matters into my own hands."

Shizuo cupped his cheek.

"I believe you. You're very afraid of death but you're more afraid of being without control."

"Being afraid of death is hardwired into all living creatures. It's a good thing. That's how, you know, a person stays alive."

"Yeah but you have all those weird ideas of living forever."

"Wouldn't you like to live forever?"

"Nah. It'd get tiresome. And the people I like would all die anyway."

"I am fine on my own."

"This god complex of yours, it just means that you are afraid of being weak."

"I liked it better when you were chasing me and throwing random objects at me."

"What do you use this thingy for, by the way?"

Shizuo dangled the switchblade, studying it with a puzzled expression and holding it between the tips of his fingers.

"I have it exclusively to cut you up. Don't you feel special now."

"Do you ever hate yourself?"

Izaya rolled his eyes.

"Of course not. I'm all ego."

"But you hate your weakness and it's part of who you are."

"Oh give me a break. That's just guessing, it's not even an assumption."

"Izaya, didn't you realize it yet that if you do become this godly creature or whatever shit you want, you won't be yourself anymore?"  
Izaya blinked.

"I do not at all follow."

"You're a complicated guy. Smart, dangerous, all that. But you're also a bit like a kitty and you get all hyper when you're upset and afraid. You can't just erase all that and be the same person."

"I thought you wanted to ask me things and not lecture me at length. Are you going Mikado on me? Just when I think it could not possibly get any worse it just does. At least it's not raining."

"There's a typhoon on the way. Heard it on the radio."

Izaya chuckled bitterly.

"There you go, it's just as they say! The moment you say that 'at least it's not raining' it starts raining! Brilliant! Typhoon, you say! Why not add an earthquake, the bloody apocalypse and the end of times for extra pizzazz! No need to even wait for 2012."

"You're not the world."

"Again, I know that. I'm not a solipsist, be that in an ontological or epistemological sense."

"Huh?"

"It means that I believe in the existence of reality outer to my self and that I can know this reality."

"Sure you do but your weird humor can be telling. If you're screwed up then the world might as well be screwed up, that kind of thought."

"So what?"

"So imagine if you really become this god person, whatever it is. Then what?"

"Then what?"

"What would you do then."

"Anything I wanted."

"And you'd be happy?"

Izaya's eyes gave off a lurid glow that reminded Shizuo of burning blood.

"But of course! I could will you into dying a very gruesome death while I dance around and giggle happily. It would in fact be the best day of my life."

"Except your life would go on…and on…and on."

"That only means that I win."

Shizuo reached the last cigarette in his pack and proceeded to smoke it, slowly. Until the tension between them was about to reach a critical point. Izaya seemed bent on waiting for a reply to react with all the vicious intent he had sizzling inside.

"Massage man was pretty neat but you're about to snap again. Guess you can't just chill out like Long Cat."

"And whose fault is that?"

"Tell you what, how about you let me give you a massage."

"Marvelous idea! Why don't you go ahead and break my bones."

Shizuo planted his large hands on Izaya's shoulder that tensed up immediately.

"Calm down. I won't hurt you."

Izaya sighed despite himself as Shizuo undid knots of almost painfully tense tendons and muscle.

"Hey, you're actually good at this…better than the massage man. Secret talent?"

"Not really."

Izaya did not even complain as Shizuo moved him to bed.

"Hmm…"

Shizuo worked his way down his back, slowly. Adding a few kisses and sucking on warming skin between slender shoulder blades.

"If you let me do you I won't confiscate your laptop anymore."

"Really?"

"Really."

Izaya considered it coolly. It would not be the first time he used sex to further an agenda but much was at stake. Izaya slipped out of the already half removed robe.

"So you want to fool around?"

"We did it your way the last time so this time around I'll do it my way."

"You had me wearing a condom for no good reason. That's not at all my way."

"Just being fair."

Shizuo lost no time in stripping. He rolled Izaya on his back, a large body hovering above Izaya's. Izaya felt intimidated and reacted by kissing him deeply lest his fear showed. Shizuo was not in the mood for letting off the hook easily and he made sure that he prepared Izaya with almost agonizing slowness. Izaya would have told him to hurry up and get it over with but he was more than apprehensive about the outcome.

"Fair, you say."

"Yeah."

Izaya rolled his eyes.

"Whatever."

"Tell me if this hurts."

"Wait, wait. Condom's by the bedside table."

Shizuo blinked as if he had no clue what Izaya at all meant.

"And? Don't feel like using one."

"Good thing I'm not a chick, huh."

"Yeah. Let me know if this hurts."

Izaya took a deep breath, braced himself and had to blink away tears of pain upon penetration. Even though Shizuo splurged on lube.

"Not- one bit-"

Shizuo waited a few moments. Partially to let Izaya adjust.

"You'll have to put up with it."

"You are absolutely awful at dirty talk."

"Maybe. Doesn't matter."

Izaya forced himself to relax and smirk. He was still very much in pain and all the more unwilling to let it show.

"Oh? Because you've got the goods, so to speak?"

"Something like that."

Shizuo pinned him down and got a firm hold of Izaya's hips. Izaya slipped into the momentum easily and wrapped his slender legs around Shizuo who proceeded to suck at the hollow of his neck.

"No leaving marks now."

"Tough luck."

"Tch, you must think you're amazing or something. I don't belong to you so drop the caveman marking ritual."

Izaya did not at all care for the smile on Shizuo's face.

"You're mine when I'm the one fucking you."

The ready made protest ebbed away as Shizuo angled his thrusts slightly and Izaya bit a finger to keep himself from moaning.

"I-za-chan? Who are you thinking of now?"

"-screw you-"

"Thought so."

Shizuo kept both of Izaya's hands locked in one of his so that he had him virtually immobilized. Which did not keep Izaya from squirming and closing his eyes as the pace picked up and his body rocked in tandem. Abruptly, Shizuo stopped. Buried to the hilt. Izaya clicked with his tongue, his chest heaving. Shizuo noticed that the nipples stood out and he was tempted to suck on them.

"Don't go stopping now!"

"Then look at me. Don't close your eyes."

Izaya glared with vicious intent. Lust never made him pliant but sharpened his need for affirmation while bypassing natural safety devices such as not upsetting a partner that was strong enough to literally snap his spine without much of an effort.

"Fine. I'll look at you- all the way- and think about how I'll kill you once I get a chance."

Shizuo picked up speed. There was something arousing in Izaya's unfaltering antagonism. Izaya bit his lip as orgasm approached. Pent up stress carried him onward and he could not even bring himself to let his mind trail away. Shizuo was everywhere, his presence oppressively real. He tasted his own blood from too much biting and sweat that trickled to his broken lips. Shizuo drank up the sight.

True to his word Izaya kept his gaze fully on Shizuo and only broke off the teasing smile as his climax burst on him. Shizuo hesitated briefly – smearing his load on Izaya seemed like a wonderful idea – but ended up releasing deep inside him. For a while there was only the sound of panting as they caught their breath.

"You know, I thought I hated you before but I was wrong. Compared to how I feel now, that was nothing."

"Guess I'll keep 'Iza-chan'-ing you, then."

Izaya was considerably surprised when Shizuo kissed his forehead. He scrambled leverage by making as if to crawl toward the laptop but gave up on that altogether. Instead he curled on his side and pulled up the covers.

"Aren't you hilarious."

He was not planning on sleeping so it was with a start that he woke up to find himself in Shizuo's arms. Izaya nearly jumped off the bed.

"Don't go falling now."

"What the hell do you think you're doing?"

Shizuo patted his head much to Izaya's dismay.

"Nothing much. Like I said, you cuddle."

Izaya rolled his eyes but decided not to comment. At times silent scorn carried the point better. Outside he could hear the wind hissing loudly. Izaya hobbled to the laptop, already going through options on his mind. The screen remained black.

"It's not working. Did you do something to my laptop?"

Izaya was still a bit sore, standing was not easy.

"Huh? Didn't touch it. Sorry if I got a bit rough-"

"Never mind that!"

Izaya flicked a switch but the semi darkness remained.

"Blackout, I guess. Typhoon and all that."

Shizuo gestured toward the windows. Izaya's eyebrows twitched.

"And the battery is dead. Why must every single thing go wrong."

More out of spite than anything else he reached for the cell phone and prepared to vent on Kida. Instead of a signal he got muddled static.

"Try the landline?"

Izaya ignored Shizuo altogether, he was suspicious of landlines enough as it was and so much more in a hotel that belonged to Shiki's group. He tossed on some clothes and would have raced out the room were it not the fact it still hurt. Shizuo followed him to the reception desk.

"Sir, it's the typhoon. Mobile phones can't get through and the electricity is down-"

"Haven't you heard of generators?"

"The generator is reserved for basic functions and-"

"I don't think you understand. I have to use a computer with internet access. And I have to use a computer with internet access right now. Are you telling me that you don't have one in this entire hotel?"

The girl behind the counter flailed.

"All the computers and batteries are taken."

"This is ridiculous."

Izaya stormed away, heading for the lobby. Shizuo stopped him before he walked into the heavy rain and strong winds outside.

"Let go of me!"

"You can't go out. The wind alone would sweep you away and you were sick."

Izaya gave him a smoldering glare of pure rage. A sudden gust of howling wind snapping a palm tree across the street convinced him to take Shizuo's advice. They ended up sitting at a semi dark hotel bar, two cups of steaming tea in front of them. Izaya nearly disappeared into the seat in pure dejection.

"Stupid weather."

"Izaya, imagine that you're on a deserted island and you can only have a person with you. Who would you take? And it can't be any of your sisters."

Izaya picked up his cup and blew on the steam.

"Another of your crazy scenarios?"

"Yeah."

"I wouldn't bring any of my sisters anyway. What kind of a brother would I be if I dragged one of them to a deserted island?"

Shizuo blinked, somewhat surprised.

"Good point."

"Not to mention I'd have to split them up. They wouldn't like that at all. And I doubt any of them would care to get stuck with me for an extended period of time."

Shizuo added sugar to his tea and mused.

"You're not a bad guy. Since you're thinking of them so much. Who would you bring, then?"

Izaya placed his cup in front of Shizuo.

"Drink it as it's meant to be, without sweeteners."

"'kay."

"Who would I bring…I'm actually not sure. Maybe Kida."

"The blonde kid?"

"Yes. Kida Masaomi."

"Why? And I like it better with sugar."

Izaya shrugged.

"He'd keep me amused at any rate. And he's smart enough to bounce off ideas with. But he'd be useless on physical challenges like building a shelter or getting food. Also, he dislikes me so he might very well decide to get rid of me."

"Better to pick someone you like."

"Shiki-san is out of question. Highly territorial and if there is only one person to dominate he would probably go into overkill. It would turn into Lord of the Flies."

"So…who would it be?"

"How about Dotachin?"

"Kadota?"

"He is funny, especially when he's not trying, not an idiot and he would be of some use in taming the great outdoors. Shinra is also an option, great if I hurt myself in some way but then again he might very well just let me die. No perfect candidate, I'm afraid."

"I guess."

"Hmm…I suppose I could bring Namie."

"Goat woman?"

"Heh, yes. Namie tends to keep her cool, she knows about how to make medicine and how to find useful herbs and which of those can be safely eaten. She is smart and while not the most collaborative of people, I'm sure that in such an environment she would realize that sticking together would benefit us both."

"Ah…"

Izaya folded his hands as he expanded on the mental picture.

"This island of yours, can it support more people? Are there enough resources?"

"I guess."

"You guess? This is your hypothetical scenario, at least put some effort into it."

"Yeah, it could support more people but you're only allowed to bring a person."

"Aha!"

Izaya nearly leaped across the table much to Shizuo's surprise. But Izaya was not about to let Shizuo remain in the dark much further, after all he needed to rebound.

"No rule about not actually making more people, though. If I brought Namie there was always that option. Breed and get the kids to take most of the work load while I sit and relax in the sand."

 

"You don't like sand. And would you really start a family for that?"

"Not family, 'free labor'. Of course it might not pay off. It takes years for a human person to be actually useful, I would have to consider Yagiri genes getting passed – like uncle like nephew – and the potential for a rebellion of sorts down the road tips the scale against the whole idea. It'd be great to have some suckers keeping up a smoke signal at all times, though."

"You think your own kids would kill you?"

"Yes. Yes, I do. That's Freud for you."

"Kids like their parents. Usually, at least."

"The risk would be too high even if the thought of having free labor in such a scenario sounds so tempting. I just wanted to mess up with your rules by adding more people without actually going against the basic setting."

"So…let me see if I got this right, you'd use your kids as basically slaves to do stuff for you."

"I would consider the option but probably discard it."

Shizuo finished his overly sugared tea. Gashes of rainwater splattered the panoramic windows as if eager to break the glass. Izaya wrapped himself in his trademark coat and sighed under his breath. He hated the elements whenever they stood on his way.

"How about me?"

"What about you?"

"Why not take me with you to the deserted island."

Izaya rolled his eyes.

"Because we hate each other."

"Hmm…I'd still want to ask you questions. Think about it, I can build a shelter, get food and protect you from wild animals."

"This isn't even hypothetical anymore. Since I am stuck on an island with you."

"Okinawa isn't deserted…"

"For all practical purposes it is. No important people here."

"Yeah but that's a good thing. I think I'd be your safest bet."

"You'd turn me into your sex slave."

Izaya shivered.

"Nah, I wouldn't have to do that."

"What, you think you'd actually be able to have consensual sex with me?"

"Is it that big of a stretch? I've already done that. Twice."

"Only because the circumstances favored it."

"Then I'd make the 'circumstances favor it' again."

"How?"

"Dunno. Bribing you with food?"

Izaya burst out laughing.

"That might actually work!"

"I'd feed you anyway. Just bribe you with extra stuff. If you need to have sex to get food it's still rape."

"So true. But I'm a bit surprised that you have such high morals. With that said, between hypothetical and reality there is a world of difference."

"This is reality and I haven't raped you. Not too sure why you're so obsessed with the thought."

"It's rather obvious. You're violent, prone to going berserk and it would probably kill me. And, and to think that I just did it for no good reason. The irony."

Izaya sighed heavily and looked thoroughly depressed.

"You didn't seem to hate it."

"Doesn't matter, I wanted some computer time and alas, fate conspires against me."

"So you're saying you didn't hate it?"

"It wasn't a complete waste of time. At least you're good at it. But I got a feeling you were holding back a bit."

"Yeah. I don't want to hurt you."

"Right…"

Izaya was not at all convinced.

"If you could take four things with you to the island, what would they be? And it can't be stuff to use to get rescued."

"Hmm…writing material. A lifelong supply of canned food, the kind that doesn't need a can opener. A very well packed toolkit. And then it's a toss between fire making stuff and condoms, assuming I had Namie around."

"Do you sleep with this Goat Woman normally?"

Izaya laced his fingers.

"Guess. Use your hocus pocus to guess it."

"I can't just guess stuff, I only know when you're telling the truth or not."

Izaya made a show of being impressed, his eyes widening in mockery.

"Eh? Is that so. For your information I've never slept with her, no."

"Good."

"'Good'? What is that supposed to mean?"

"So you're not interested in her that way?"

"It may very well be the other way around."

Shizuo blinked.

"A woman isn't into you? What, she's a lesbian?"

Izaya cackled madly, stomping as his body shook.

"Are you for real? Oh dear. Namie isn't into sex, period. At least as far as I am aware of. But now that you planted seeds of lesbian fantasies in my mind I will never be able to look at lab coats the same way ever again."

"Ah…but you were planning on having kids with her in the deserted island."

"Only because Namie is a pragmatic woman through and through. Unfortunately, she is pragmatic enough to know that the statistics for childbirth outside of any health facilities rate dangerously high in terms of death toll for mothers to be. In other words, she would probably shoot down my plan not so much because she disagrees with having sex with me as much as because it would endanger her life."

"Kinda makes sense. And the condoms?"

Izaya shrugged.

"One can always hope. Maybe it would take a turn for the Blue Lagoon."

"Oh, I watched the movie. In the second one they have a kid and decide to remain on the island."

"You actually watched it? I would never imagine you watching a soppy romance from the 80's. And the sequel, too!"

"See, there are things you only get by talking."

Izaya raised his hands.

"I get your point. Don't tell me you're a fan of love stories."

"They're kinda neat every now and then."

Izaya smiled, for once without guile. Chin propped on the palm of his hand.

"Oh? Tell that to most girls and you'll land a date in no time. Show them your sensitive side."

"My what?"

"You like cats, it seems. That's part of it, too. Next time you want to convince a girl that you care tell her that you like kitties."

"You're giving me dating tips…? And you like fancy food, wouldn't think you'd be into canned food."

Izaya wrinkled his nose.

"I hate canned food but I hate starving to death considerably more. Knowing that I have enough food to survive would put my mind at ease."

"Yeah, I don't suppose you'd go around hunting or even fishing."

"Er, no. I might try but I doubt I'd be successful. Also, if I get sick I'll need food I can keep at by bedside table and not living food I'd have to catch. I suppose I could ask for an unlimited amount of salt- since your scenario is video game like in that it allows for nearly infinite quantities- but any kind of preserving needs food to be preserved. Not to mention canned food would remain edible even after a landslide. What I don't understand is how anyone would eat canned food outside of a deserted island."

"I think I'd bribe you with tuna."

Izaya raised one eyebrow.

"Are you forgetting the entire premise? Where would you find this tuna?"

"Fish for it in the ocean."

Izaya giggled.

"You do realize that tuna is a deep water fish? Then again…if this is you we're talking about you might very well be able to do it."

"Yeah. Are you saying it would work?"

"What, would I have sex with you for some juicy ootoro slabs? Why not. If it was anything like the other times then I wouldn't mind it too much."

"Really?"

"I suppose."

Izaya was about to add to his reasoning when the window suddenly shattered. The loud noise and the suddenness of it all froze him completely. Cold water, howling wind, a phone booth hurling through the air in his direction. He knew in a split second that he could not dodge it. Izaya closed his eyes and put up his hands out of instinct. Dimly he heard himself scream. Time passed. Nothing happened. Slowly, he peered through his fingers.

"Hey, you okay?"

Shizuo dropped the booth and took him away from the broken window pane. Izaya followed in a daze.

"Did you catch that in mid-air…?"

"Yeah. You don't look too hot."

Izaya felt considerably shaken. He barely heard the head waiter apologizing and he drank some hot cocoa without even tasting it. At length he noticed a crimson stain on Shizuo's sleeve.

"You're bleeding."

"Nah, no biggie. I'm used to this kind of thing."

Izaya opened his mouth, closed it again. Thought hard, focusing his mental resources on a single point to correct the unbalance of his anxiety.

"That thing could've have killed even you. In fact-"

Izaya walked around Shizuo and winced slightly at the sight of his back.

"Some glass got stuck."

"Some glass you say…did you cover for me?"

"Yeah. I guess."

Izaya narrowed his eyes.

"If you expect me to be all grateful and whatnot then I'll have to disappoint you. With that said, you better get those treated."

Izaya perched himself silently on a chair as he watched Shizuo go through first aid treatment. The cogs in his mind turning.


	10. Chapter 10

"Neat thing, this hotel even has an infirmary."

"Heiwajima-san, I can't afford not to take into account new information."

"Yeah…?"

"Did someone hire you to keep me alive?"

Shizuo blinked a few times.

"No one hired me, I've told you that already."

"I thought that someone had hired you to kill me. By Occam's razor it explains much apart of course from the fact that you have not killed me. Yet. However, it flies in the face of what you just did."

"Can't ask you questions if you die on me."

Izaya took a step in his direction.

"That doesn't cut it. No matter how much you may like to throw your silly questions at me there is no rational explanation for risking your life for my sake. Even if you were hired. So what is going on?"

It annoyed Izaya to no end how Shizuo slowly lit up a cigarette and proceeded to blow rings of smoke.

"For the time being, we should stay away from windows. This typhoon is the real deal."

"Forget that! Answer me already!"

Shizuo smoked in silence, aware that with each second Izaya was closer to snap.

"You know, you're all about, how would you put it, 'dismantling human behavior'? Yeah, sounds like something you'd say-"

"Get. To. The. Point."

"'kay, getting to it. Why do people save others from dangers?"

Izaya sighed deeply. He felt uncomfortable in a brand new way that he disliked immensely.

"All sorts of reasons, I don't care for general reasons at the moment. I want to know why you acted the way you did."

Shizuo nodded as if he was pleased.

"Looks like you're beginning to get it. Maybe. But you still haven't answered it."

Izaya counted to ten in his mind. They retreated to a lounge screened from the window by a wall. By the time they sat down on a plush sofa of a jarring peach color Izaya was on an encyclopedic mode. Trying to fill up his gap with knowledge with information even if it did not cover it.

"Humans often act apparently selflessly. However, the keyword here is 'apparently'. All those stories of mothers going into burning buildings to rescue their children, that is only apparently a selfless act. In fact they were simply ensuring that their genes got carried by assuring the survival of offspring. This can be broadened to wider circles of interaction so that it goes beyond kin, villagers often act apparently counter-actively to their security to rescue other villagers. Ever wondered why such a thing hardly ever happens in big cities?"

"Bet you're going to tell me."

"Indeed I am. The reason why you look the other way if you see some poor bastard being literally kicked to the curb is because you don't need that poor bastard for anything in your life. Imagine he works at the Family Mart you usually go to but that because thugs get to him he ends up dying. How does that affect your life? It doesn't. You won't even notice it. They'll just get someone else to replace him and you'll buy your cigarettes as if some poor bastard had not met some untimely end. In villages there are still some vestigial traces of the times when human groups needed everyone just to get by. If you let the poor bastard that works with you at the fields die in a fire then guess what, your work load will suddenly double."

"Makes sense. Not too sure what that has to do with this."

Izaya glared at him.

"It has everything to do with it. What reasons could you possibly have for risking yourself for my sake?"

Shizuo blinked again.

"You think too much, you know. You're complicating stuff."

Izaya slammed his hands on the low table before him.

"No, I am not. Empathy has developed along the evolutionary process-"

Shizuo tossed away the cigarette when Izaya began to ramble and made sure that he never reached any brilliant conclusion with a kiss.

"You sure take a lot of time to get to the point yourself."

"Don't go kissing me without my permission."

Izaya was aware that he was irrationally upset. That only added to the feeling of being off kilter.

"You're kinda missing the point."

"What point? What do you know that I don't! And how can you know it!"

"How do you know your emotions?"

"Through neurological receptors of chemical reactions in the brain- why am I even answering this!"

"'Cause you got in the habit."

Izaya sank back into his seat, having leaped to his feet mid rant.

"I give up. I just…give up."

Shizuo let him wallow in despair for a while longer.

"I know my emotions-"

"Of course you do, self-awareness is the default position of all knowledge. Cogito ergo sum."

"Ah…like I was saying, it's simpler than you think. I saved you because I like you."

Izaya started. Then narrowed his eyes.

"Will you at least not insult my intelligence?"

Shizuo shrugged.

"See, this is why I didn't tell you right away. I knew you wouldn't believe me."

"'Like', you say! As if I'd buy that. I may be going through something of a crisis-"

"More like spinning your wheels madly."

"-but I have not suddenly become obtuse."

"You should be able to see that I'm telling the truth."

"I'm not the one with the mystical powers, that's you."

"But you're an informant. Finding out that kind of stuff is what you do best."

"This is preposterous."

Shizuo took off his shades and detained Izaya who was about to leave.

"Let go of me. Right now."

"Not until you give it a try."

"Give what a try?"

"Reading me, I guess. I like you. Look into my eyes and see that I'm not lying."

Izaya fretted, scanning every corner of the louge where Shizuo was not. He did not appreciate being pinned down by a demanding stare.

"Ah, you 'like me', huh. So what, you went from hating my guts to 'liking me', just like that? That you expect me to believe that is actually offensive. It hurts, Heiwajima-san. You're supposed to have more respect for your sworn enemy than that."

"Nah, I knew you wouldn't believe me. It's not 'just like that'. There's a lot to hate in you but I can't go on really hating anyone that goes out like a lamp after sex and cuddles into my arms. It's too cute, I guess."

Izaya had to close his mouth.

"Too cute…? Did your brain just die on you completely?"

"I don't think so. It's like you said, you have to take into account 'new information'. So yeah, this is new information."

Izaya had a snarky reply fully ready but a sudden bang had him seek refuge under the table. Shizuo barely saw him, Izaya moved with lightening speed.

"No wonder you've got such parkour skills, you sure can be fast. But you can come out, it's just the wind."

"Go away. Consider our contract over."

"Why?"

"Why? There's a limit to how much fun you can have at my expense."

Shizuo sat on the floor because he felt a bit silly cranking his neck to look underneath the table. But not as silly he thought Izaya looked. For Izaya held his knees to his chin, arms wrapped around them, his eyes emanating red anger. It reminded Shizuo of some frightened animal tucked deep into his lair for fear of big mean predators that it could only hope to scare away by being all prickly.

"So you don't trust me at all. Not even one bit?"

"No."

"I don't think so. You wouldn't fall asleep next to me if you didn't at all trust me."

"Whatever."

"Hey, you can play go, right?"

"What, the board game?"

"Yeah. Want to play go for a while? There's not much to do as it is."

Izaya studied him for a long time before crawling out from the under the table, his gait as gracefully smooth as circumstances allowed.

"And if I lose there's some penalty?"

"Not really. Just thought it'd be fun."

"Tell you what. If I win you'll leave me alone."

"You mean 'when' you win."

"Either way."

"'kay. If you win I'll let you alone for a day."

"Deal."

Izaya glowed as if he had regained lost ground.

"You got to explain the rules too."

"But of course."

Shizuo let him happily lay down the rules, long fingers going through the pieces in what Shizuo assumed was a mannerism of sorts.

"Sounds complicated."

"Let's just give you a handicap. I am a generous person."

Shizuo had to repress a smile and to pretend to be very serious. Izaya was in his element and nearly singing under his breath.

"Yeah, thanks."

Shizuo did not even bother to make an attempt at mastering the game. He knew that there were more important things to life than winning.

"Izaya, remember your chess talk?"

"That's an unusual way of putting it. Of course I remember. A bad player is still always above any and all pieces on the board."

 

Shizuo gave Izaya more than enough time to make a few brilliantly unnecessary moves.

"Aren't you missing something?"

"Such as?"

"For you to become a player, as in someone who moves the pieces, don't you need another player to play against?"

Izaya shrugged, nonchalantly.

"It's just a metaphor. Don't take it too literally."

"Still, if you're the only player you'll end up bored in no time."

Izaya stretched and yawned.

"Whatever. Anyway, I just won. Don't follow me."

"I won't. Just watch out for those windows-"

"I know that."

It was with an effort that Izaya walked away without casting at least a glance back. He tried to get some extra computer batteries and was again turned down. With a sigh he shuffled to a lobby where he found a newspaper that he read from top to bottom. As usual there was not anything worth knowing in standard sources of information. Izaya preferred to investigate shady rumors and not always for professional reasons. It was a hobby of his, to disentangle word of mouth from the facts, it any, underneath it.

He was left to wander from vast room to vast room, aimlessly. As large as the hotel was there was something stifling about being confined. He could sense a feeling of cabin fever brewing in the guests who gathered about as if afraid of staying in their rooms. Izaya did not blame them. He found a nook under a sweeping stairway and settled there to reread the Art of War.

Izaya emerged from complicated considerations much refreshed. Following intellectual twists and turns made him feel reassured of his competence. And Izaya was in great need of reassurance. He bought some condoms from a vending machine and considered his options. Maybe what he needed was some proper sex. Which was to say, without Shizuo. As soon as the idea occurred to him he rejected it.

Currently the hotel was sealed tight on a group of stressed out people. The crazy weather outside that forced them to remain indoors added to the built up tension. It was hardly the environment to select a random partner for highly casual sex. Izaya was very aware that sexual behavior was directly connected to surrounding elements and that it could very well have disastrous effects under pressure.

He decided to try the somewhat famous baths. Partially because these were underground and also because he wanted to enjoy this lease on time alone as well as possible. There was no one in the showers and that suited Izaya just fine. The place was semi traditional and luxurious. He was ready to step into the large opal colored pool in no time. Izaya tried the water with the tip of a toe first and only then did he happily enter. Steam hovered uncertainly so it took him a while for him to notice the shape amidst tendrils rising from the surface.

"Didn't you say you'd leave me alone?"

Shizuo shrugged.

"I was here first."

Izaya considered leaving but he was very comfortable in the warm water and more importantly he could not afford to allow Shizuo to have the last word.

"Fine. Just don't come any closer."

"This is neat, it's like there's no storm going on."

"'Neat'? Who uses 'neat' nowadays. What century are you in, exactly?"

"Twenty first. Are you running out of things to bitch about?"

Izaya humphed and splashed around some.

"How come no one's here but us?"

"I gave some money to the guys running this place to keep people out."

Izaya lifted an eyebrow.

"How come they let me in, then?"

"I told them that if this cute skinny guy with short hair and a bunch of rings came round to let him in."

"Gee, so you wanted to have this place all to yourself?"

"People stare at me too much. I don't like that."

"Well of course they do. You're absurdly huge. How come you have no problems going to the beach, though?"

"It's not the same. Not naked there. Unless you're around and decide to, what was it called again, 'celebrate the human body' by prancing about in the nude."

Izaya smirked.

"It's called damage control. And I'm amazed you handled it so well."

"I was too busy checking you out to be embarrassed. How come they have pictures of Fuji-san around?"

Izaya glanced at the mosaic on the wall. Glad that attention was shifting from him for once.

"Because it's a national symbol. The question is, what is up with the weird tropical landscape on the picture."

"Yeah, must be because it's Okinawa."

Water pouring from an elaborate fountain like contraception was all that disturbed the silence for a while.

"Are you sure you should be taking a bath? Won't your wounds get worse?"

"You're worried?"

"No. I just don't want you bleeding all over the place and ruining this wonderful experience."

"So, does 'this wonderful experience' include me? And it's fine, shallow wounds heal easily anyway. I'm used to it."

Izaya remained huddled at one end of the pool but he now decided to splash around.

"The water is so nice that not even you can make it bad. That's what I meant. By the way…thanks."

"What for?"

"You know what for."

"The phone booth thing? Of course I'd save someone I like."

"Not that again."

"Isn't it a good thing for you? It means I'll keep you safe."

"Yeah, right. What is this 'like' of yours supposed to be anyway?"

"Like is like."

Izaya latched an unwavering gaze on Shizuo.

"That is a circular definition."

"'Like' as in, not exactly 'love' but close."

"Are you suffering from nicotine withdrawal? And don't get any funny ideas. I'm not in the mood for smut."

"But you'd do that kind of thing in a public place?"

Izaya rolled his eyes much to Shizuo's amusement.

"I don't know how you got this idea that I go around screwing in public-"

"People say that about you."

"-okay, so maybe I know how you got that idea but it is erroneous. Just like I am hardly as promiscuous or sexually active as 'word on the street' goes."

"Ah…"

"For your information I've only done that a few times."

It was Shizuo's turn to burst out laughing. It scared Izaya half out of his skin.

"What's so funny?"

"Oh, Izaya, Izaya. Only you. 'A few times', that's one time too many."

"It's an extra kink of sorts. Of course, I take precautions so as not to get caught."

"Yeah…remember when we went to Fuji-san on that school trip? You scared a bunch of girls by going on about dead people swinging from the trees."

Izaya chuckled.

"And Shinra wanted to dissect them."

"He was just talking about that a while ago. Kadota remembers it too."

"Oh? So you all got together?"

"For a nabe party."

Izaya focused on the bubbling water.

"Is that so. Well, good for you."

Shizuo scurried until he was almost touching him, taking advantage of Izaya's standoffish streak.

"Do you know the story about the fox?"

"Which one, there are many of those. And stay at your end of the pool."

"There's plenty of space and I was here first. The story with the fox and the grapes. You know how it goes, the fox couldn't reach these really tasty grapes so he just said, 'No matter, they're green anyway'".

"Yes, I know the story. It's technically a fable. What about it?"

"You're a bit like that."

"Suddenly, you know me ever so well."

"Not 'suddenly', just like I began like you little by little."

"There are a few constants that needs remain stable for the universe to exist as we know it. Such as mathematical relations, pi, etc. One of these is your hatred for my person."

"Oh, pie is pretty good but not sweet enough for my tastes."

"Not that kind of pie!"

Shizuo smirked.

"Heh, fooled you. I knew it was possible."

"Do you even know the value of pi?"

"Sure. 3 point…something. Oh yeah, 3.14."

"Actually, that's an approximation. The number in its totality is considerably longer."

"Longer than Long Cat? Like they say Long Cat is long."

"And annoying Heiwajima Shizuo is annoying. Keep it up and you'll dethrone the Annoying Orange."

"The what? I don't like oranges, too acid. I like coconut better. And mango, strawberry is good too with cream-"

"I don't care. What's with the fruit talk?"

"You brought it up."

Izaya sighed, closed his eyes and drifted.

"Ah, I should have tried this long ago."

"But you got to be careful. It's kinda hot in here and you're real skinny, you may just sweat away."

Izaya chuckled.

"I'm not that slim."

"Sure you are. See?"

To make a point Shizuo proceeded to poke him.

"Will you stop already!"

"This is fun. It gets better each time. Kinda like sex."

"Right…for your information, 'stop' means 'stop'. Just like in sex, what do you know!"

Shizuo laughed.

"You can be pretty funny when you're not trying."

"Wonderful, just wonderful. So now you develop a sense of humor."

"I always had one."

"Let me guess, you like lame puns. The kind that can freeze hell over."

"I like those comedy duos. And when you fall on your face."

"I only fell once, that's because I got seasick. You make it sound like it's a daily thing."

"You're real weak when it comes to boats and get all flustered every now and then."

Izaya sighed anew and slid underwater to relish in the warmth.

"And let me guess…that's 'cute'."

"Yeah. Sure you won't drown doing that?"

"Very funny."

But he was feeling a bit dizzy from the steam. He got out and slipped into a robe. To his annoyance Shizuo was right on his heels.

"Hey, no milk. You're supposed to have a drink after a warm bath."

"Whatever."

It was a small solace that at least he managed to leave the scene without any further developments. Izaya wanted to make sure that he did not lose sight of such victories even when the odds were stacked against him.

*

Unfortunately his happiness was short lived.

Dinner was served by candlelight. The food available was limited due to a short-circuit in the highly taxed kitchen appliances currently supported by the generator. Worse than this was the fact that the weather showed no signs of alleviating its wrath, in fact, it seemed to increase. In a direct proportion to Izaya's aggravation.

"At least you got that fancy fish of yours."

" _Sake_ , just bring a whole bottle. I don't care what kind."

A nervous waitress took the order. She decided that this costumer was cute but the darkening mood emanating from him was almost visible. Shizuo blinked.

"Didn't know you were into drinking-"

"Drink with me, Heiwajima-san! And be merry! For tomorrow…we all die!"

Shizuo was used to the vitriol but there was a certain glow to Izaya's eyes that he found disturbing.

"Ah…just don't overdo it."

Izaya chuckled and proceeded to down a glass, his throat burning and his head ringing as he pushed through it all. It was with a clang that he put down the glass. Izaya leaned forward, toying with a fork by balancing it upside down with a finger. He had decided that being so unable to at all act liberated him completely from any responsibility.

"Sure thing, mom. Izaya is a good boy. Such a good boy!"

"I don't think you handle alcohol too well."

Izaya might have stopped if not for Shizuo's insistence, mild as it was. He drank directly from the neck of the bottle until his thoughts swam oddly inside his mind.

"What's this shit, 'Cali- California roll', fuck this. Sushi is Japanese, this American crap is disgusting."

"You've had enough for the night-"

"Vodka, straight. Hei..wa..ji…ma…ask me questions! Ask, ask, ask! I'm all yours!"

Izaya snatched the new bottle directly from the waitress, drank deeply what tasted like liquid white fire, spluttering his way through after the first gulps and gasping for air by the time he was done. Shizuo signaled the waitress not to serve Izaya anymore.

"Let's just get you to bed-"

"Wouldn't you like that! You like fucking me?"

Izaya's smile was sharp but it only betrayed his slippery hold on reality.

"You're drunk-"

"And you're stuuuupid. What you wanna know next? I'll tell you anything."

His voice did not exactly slur but it slid over his words at slow pace that hinted at a threat.

"Izaya-"

"How about my sisters? Wanna know something, and I'm just telling you this because we're bosom buddies, they like you better than they like onii-chan dear. In fact! They don't like me at all! Isn't that amazing!"

Izaya broke into a fit of giggles. It sounded as if he was crying.

"I hope that's just drunk talk."

"Oh, I know! Maybe they're the ones trying to kill me!"

Shizuo poured a glass of cold water on Izaya.

"What the hell!"

Before Izaya could protest more Shizuo picked him up easily and just as easily flung him over a shoulder and carried him to their room. Shizuo placed Izaya on bed, softly.

"Screw you!"

Izaya jumped to his feet but the world slid sideways before his eyes. He fell backwards on the bed and fumed as Shizuo dried his hair with a towel.

“Drink some water."

"A hundred bottles of wine on the wall, a hundred bottles of wine on the wall- loooooooong cat is looooooooong! Heh, loooooooong! Nagai neko, nya!"

Izaya lied on his back, giggling, and spread himself as if to become longer. He put up his hands as if they were paws.

"You're completely wasted."

Izaya's eyes were half lidded and he lifted up part of his shirt, exposing his bellybutton.

"I see all…I know all…whee. I got magic powers too! What am I thinking now!"

"You're not thinking much. You're drunk."

"What. Ever. Hey Shiki-san! Shiiiiiki-san! You bugging this place? Your hotel sucks. Tada! You suck too. Don't go thinking you can look down on me just cuz you….you…something or other."

"Izaya, just have some water."

He propped himself with some difficulty and chuckled.

"Thought you wanted to know all about me and Shiki-san. Orihara Izaya! Telling you…stuff!"

"I'll hear you in the morning."

Izaya squirmed out of his shirt, slowly.

"Want to fuck? Since you like me."

He spat out the word as if it was an accusation.

"Again, come back to me when you're sober."

"Sober, sober, sober. The hell with that! Who gives a shit."

Izaya tossed his arms around Shizuo.

"I do."

Shizuo pushed him back and Izaya shot him a vicious glare.

"So you don't like me anymore? My heart breaks! It breaks! It breeeeaks!"

Izaya grasped at his naked chest and made a weird show of Shizuo did not know what exactly.

"I don't like the way you are now."

Izaya laughed then narrowed his eyes.

"Yay! Go on and hate me. It makes my day!"

Izaya made as if to reach for the mini-bar. Shizuo detained him easily.

"No more drinking for you."

Izaya glued himself to Shizuo's body and kissed him with an edge of bite.

"You want to do it, Shizu-chan?"

Relapsing into the trademark honorific, a teasing undertone to the sly invitation.

"I want you to just go to sleep."

"Boring!"

His mind awhirl, Izaya tried to lure Shizuo into bed but suddenly darkness overpowered him. Shizuo watched him black out and shook his head. Izaya cuddled with a pillow. Shizuo thought that it was very cute.


	11. Chapter 11

Izaya became aware of a headache even before he knew himself to be awake. He unglued his eyelids as if they were made of lead and sighed.

"Gah…I had a horrible nightmare."

"Good morning."

Izaya rolled over to find Shizuo staring intently at him.

"Oh look, it's Heiwajima Shizuo."

"Hangover?"

"I'll be fine. So…did something happen?"

Izaya sat and looked around in something of a daze.

"Apart from you getting drunk and making an idiot of yourself? Nah, not really. Here, medicine."

Izaya drank it out of reflex. He felt a strange hollowness inside his head.

"Electricity back yet?"

"Nah. It's still raining, too."

"Isn't that great."

"What was your nightmare about?"

"A tuna fish was making Orihara Izaya sushi."

"Heh, that's what you get for drinking."

"So it would seem."

Izaya dragged himself to the bathroom but even after splashing his face with cold water he still felt very sleepy and weak.

"I got food, banana split, with extra whipped cream. And two spoons."

"How can you go on eating that kind of stuff."

Izaya looked miserable. He returned to bed and slipped under the covers.

"Desserts here are cool. Try it."

"Don't even talk about food."

"Dunno how a tuna could slice you up. I mean, fish don't have hands."

Izaya rolled his eyes.

"You know, I have to wonder if you haven't been trolling me this whole time."

Shizuo dug into creamy sweetness. Izaya buried himself deeper in the cozy nest of blankets.

"Do you really think that your sisters hate you?"

"Say what?"

"It's what you said last night."

"Just apply your spooky Twilight Zone powers. Don't send me to a corn field, though."

"I can't tell if you're telling the truth when you're drunk."

Izaya leaped up and nearly fell immediately. But he did manage to stand on bed, arms folded, a smug smile on his lips.

"There you go, I should get drunk more often then."

Shizuo slowly got up- and nearly upset Izaya's precarious balance in the process- and offered him a bottle from the mini-bar.

"Want more vodka?"

"No. No, I don't. But you should know that there is no such thing as 'in vino veritas'."

"Italian now…?"

"Latin. But I'll cut you some slack, they are akin languages. Italian is a Neo-Latin language. At any rate, the idea that drunk people won't lie is just a misconception."

"That's why I asked."

Izaya shivered and sat.

"Why exactly am I naked?"

"So you don't remember. You kinda made a pass on me-"

"I did what?"

"And I figured you'd be uncomfortable sleeping with your pants on."

"I see."

Apparently Izaya had nothing further to add.

"What do you want to do today?"

"Nothing. I'm staying in bed. The weather is hellish, my head hurts and there is nothing to do anyway."

"I suppose."

"What time is it anyway?"

"Around noon."

For a while they were silent.

"I think that I understand this 'like' of yours."

"You do?"

"Yes. In fact, it explains almost everything."

Shizuo finished his sweet treat. He suspected that Izaya had it completely wrong but he was curious.

"So, let's hear about it."

"It is a classic case of sublimation."

"Sublimation?"

Izaya nodded.

"I don't expect you to be familiar with the word but allow me to explain. 'Sublimation' is the channeling of some socially unacceptable pulsion- that amounts to saying a 'desire that society deems to be wrong'- into behavior that will be accepted. In this case you realized at some point or another that you found me attractive but since same gender attraction is a social deviation you diverted sexual desire into violence. And that is why you have been running after me all these years and it is also why you enjoy having sex with me."

Shizuo blinked rapidly.

"Hey, maybe you kinda have a point there….but you're still a bit off."

"Merely because I am lacking information. For some reason you changed your usual tactics and decided to rationalize it into 'liking' me."

"Hmm…now you're more off than before. I do like you. Maybe I didn't realize I wanted to do this kind of stuff before but I never cared much for what society or whatnot."

"Not consciously, no. But subconsciously you have been informed by the societal ethos into which you were born and raised. It is of course very interesting how a society seems to look more favorably on violence than on desire."

"Ah…and you figured all that by getting drunk?"

"I have been giving it a lot of thought, of course."

Shizuo smiled broadly.

"So you have been thinking about me. A lot, even."

"Obviously."

"You're all about being in control, drinking isn't something you should do."

"I don't normally drink, obviously. An excessive intake of alcohol upsets one's reasoning skills."

"With you it just takes a glass or so. Cuz you're so small."

"I'm only small in comparison to you."

"Yeah, I guess. But it's good that you're small. Do you really hate California rolls?"

Izaya chuckled. He had not yet bothered to get dressed and felt no inclination to do so.

"Also from last night? I just think that sushi should be done using true Japanese ingredients in a Japanese way. I respect our culinary heritage. But it applies to all things, a good Beijing duck should be cooked as it is in China. I am not too fond of fusion cuisine."

"I like this fried ice cream thing with banana that they serve on Chinese restaurants."

"Back to the subject at hand, you say that you 'like' me but not quite 'love'. At what point do you make the distinction?"

Shizuo thought about it.

"Hmm…I guess it's when it goes from, 'I want to be with this person' to 'I need to be with this person.'"

"That is surprisingly reasonable."

"You think?"

Izaya realized that it might be better to eat something after all and ordered a club sandwich and a milkshake.

"It's a least a way of knowing. And I'm amazed you didn't jump on me when you had the chance."

"Nah, you know by now I wouldn't do that. Like I said, I'm not into rape and there's really no point to doing stuff you wouldn't even remember."

"Because you 'like' me?"

Izaya sounded curious now.

"Yeah, pretty much."

"Eh, is that so. Do you know when a community begins to think that maybe a troll isn't trolling after all?"

"No idea."

"Persistence. Trolls tend to have a limited attention span, they'll do raids but usually not continuous attacks. Your conduct is not that of a troll."

"I told you already I'm serious."

"Unless, of course, you are a master troll of epic proportions such as the world and /b/ have never seen before."

"I think you're mistaking me for you now."

The food arrived and Izaya waltzed to the door wearing nothing but his underwear.

"Consider seeing someone as hot as me mostly naked as a tip already! Bye now!"

And with this he closed the door, chuckling happily.

"Behold, I got you banana milkshake with extra sugar. Make sure to drink it all!"

"Why so chirpy all of a sudden?"

"Because I'm literally feeding a troll! How about this, Shizuo-kun…I- like you…please let me make you bento boxes for lunch from now on! Puhlease!"

Izaya changed his voice into a falsetto.

"Ah…your idea of funny is really weird."

"Best way to handle a troll: troll him back tenfold!"

Izaya proceeded to skip around in what Shizuo assumed was a dance routine of sorts.

"New parkour moves?"

"Okinawa style! Useful for running around trees-"

"Why would you do that anyway…?"

"-also works as a rain dance-"

"Guess that's really working…"

"-and of course, it shows my unadulterated love!"

Shizuo had a feeling that Izaya, after being so close to break, just had to re-bounce with typical craziness.

"Big word there."

"Un-a-dul-te-rat-ed! Love!"

Shizuo watched him skip about a bit more.

"You know, you shouldn't go saying that kind of thing around me."

Izaya halted suddenly and batted his eyelashes in mock coyness.

"Whatever do you mean, Shizuo-kun."

"I might take you seriously."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"It means that you can't expect me to just ignore it when you act like a tease. Keep in mind that I've got my needs too. And last night I had to hold back."

"That's so…manly."

Shizuo smoked a cigarette. Slowly, keeping Izaya hanging on. Then he sipped some milkshake.

"Hey, this is good stuff. Try it."

Izaya took a mere gulp and pretended to gag.

"Sugar overdose."

Shizuo seemed to consider something for a brief moment and then neatly placed Izaya in bed.

"Thought I'd try something."

"What the- that's cold!"

Shizuo eased Izaya on his back and poured milkshake on him. Izaya's voice hitched into a falsetto again but this time unintentionally.

"You'll get hot in no time."

"It's amazing that you can say that with a straight face. You fail at dirty talk."

Shizuo took a while to simply watch the sight of Izaya covered in frothy white stuff. Shizuo licked off some of it from Izaya's chest.

"Don't care for that."

Shizuo moved on to lick the sweetness from Izaya's nipples.

"You're not supposed to get all kinky."

"Why not?"

"Because you're the beastly kind."

"Doesn't mean I can't have fun playing with you."

"So I'm a toy now?"

Shizuo seemed to confirm this suspicion by shredding Izaya's boxers.

"You look better naked."

"So much dirty talk fail."

"It's not dirty talk, just the truth."

Izaya began to chuckle but faltered when Shizuo proceeded to lap at the milkshake, slowly, nipping a nipple along the way.

"Ah, are you picking up a thing or two…?"

Shizuo answered by tentatively trailing his tongue along Izaya's already hardening length. Izaya gasped despite himself.

"So you make noises every now and then."

"And?"

"And it's cute."

Izaya rolled then closed his eyes as Shizuo swallowed him. Delicious liquid warmth suffused his sensations and easily canceled out the partner in question. Izaya moaned very lowly and allowed for pleasure to fill the world. And then the tingling racing through his entire body was suddenly gone.

"Don't stop midway!"

Frustration and annoyance destroyed Izaya's typical defenses.

"Keep your eyes open."

"Ah?"

"You heard me, unless you're too horny to understand words."

"What does it even matter!"

"It matters to me. You seemed to like that so you might as well go ahead with what I say."

Izaya's glare became venomous.

"You're getting pretty pushy and conceited. Don't you 'like' me?"

"It's because I like you. And drop the air quotes."

"And if I close my eyes?"

Izaya could feel himself almost twitching in anticipation but he had to make a stand. Shizuo shrugged and made as if to leave.

 

"I'll just go do something else and let you take care of it yourself."

Izaya held him by the sleeve with surprising strength.

"Oy, oy, there's a limit to how much a cockblock you can be. And you say I'm a tease?"

"Aren't you supposed to be good at…what do you call it again, 'negotiating'."

"Ah. But I'm in a slump, you see. So. I'll keep my eyes peeled as you want."

"That's more like it."

Shizuo nodded and resumed his ministrations. Izaya realized almost immediately that watching was an extra kink in itself. He felt that he had scored a point and the high naturally slid into an explosive climax that had him writhing and gasping. With eyes wide open he could see a trickle of semen running down Shizuo's chin who looked curious.

"Ah…you even swallowed it? I'm impressed."

"No point being half assed about this kind of thing."

Izaya giggled. He felt very light and almost aglitter.

"Indeed."

"But you last even less this way."

Shizuo fully expected Izaya to get defensive or sarcastic. But Izaya was fully afloat on a sweet afterglow. Shizuo enjoyed seeing him so casually lying in bed, hair disheveled, eyes a heavier shade a red and a light smile on his lips.

"That's the advantage of bottoming. I don't have to actually perform but still get the payback. There's no 'too soon' because the act itself isn't much affected."

"I suppose. And the disadvantage? I'm sure there is one."

"Aye, indeed there is. Ironically it's the same thing: since orgasm does not technically interfere with the performance a top may very well just not even bother trying to make it good for the partner."

Izaya tasted a tang of salt as Shizuo kissed him.

"I'm not like that. It's more fun if you like it."

Almost gently, Shizuo rolled Izaya on his belly and traced his spine with kisses.

"Hmm…what next?"

"Like you said, I'm 'beastly'. So get on all fours."

"Yes, sir."

Shizuo stripped rapidly and reached for the remaining milkshake. Izaya raised an eyebrow.

"Milkshake froth as lube? So…inventive."

"It'll do the trick."

Izaya's giggle was cut short as Shizuo pushed into him.

"Tch, you sure are big."

"Just bear with it."

"Who said- I was complaining-"

Shizuo chuckled and remained completely still. Buried to the hilt.

"Good."

"Will you move already!"

"In due time."

Izaya was not a patient man and even less so when pressing needs reinforced his desire to establish the balance of power to his favor. Before he could do as much as touch his budding erection Shizuo slapped his hand. Izaya shot him a furious glare.

"What the hell! I thought I was supposed to enjoy this, hypocrite much?"

Shizuo nibbled Izaya's ear and brushed his sides very lightly, tracing the body currently in his possession but uncertain if he could reach the actual person.

"You'll like it more if you want it more."

"Horrible timing to be getting all philosophical."

"Nah. Best possible."

Shizuo adjusted himself slightly and Izaya let out a weak moan and arched his back. This was the cue Shizuo was waiting for. His thrusts were rapid, holding Izaya lest he collapsed. Shizuo tilted Izaya's chin to steal a kiss just as Izaya tensed up and came. Only shortly after Shizuo tided over and released deep inside him. Izaya sighed contently and almost immediately sneezed.

"Gah…that was good but cold milkshake on poor me is killing me."

With that said Izaya did not seem too troubled as he rolled away from the mess on the sheets.

"Sorry."

"Aye, it's fine. Good sex makes you forget about all that."

Shizuo ran a hot bath and deposited Izaya in the warm water, carefully.

"You okay?"

"Amazing, just amazing."

Izaya smiled lazily. Shizuo petted his head.

"It's a good thing you're really into it."

"You mean sex?"

"Yeah. You're not thinking too much when that happens."

"Are you intimidated by intelligence?"

"Nah, but you overthink."

Shizuo wrapped him a fluffy towel.

"Hey! I was comfy back there."

"You'll get light headed if you stay in hot water."

Izaya blinked as Shizuo replaced the sheets with new ones, handed him one of his oversized shirts and placed an extra warm blanked in bed. Izaya happily got under the covers.

"You know, you say that I don't mellow after sex but I don't think you do either. Unless this being all nice counts."

"Don't want you to get sick again. And don't forget your food."

"Hmm…maid Shizuo…heh…"

Shizuo poked him.

"No sleeping. I want to talk to you."

"Question time again?"

"Yeah."

"Fine. After all, that's what I'm getting paid for. Just drop the poking."

As much as Izaya disliked this entire assignment, it was by far the worst he had ever undertaken, he did not want to involve sex in the trade. And Shizuo seemed to be thinking along the same lines:

"Yeah, I'm not paying to sleep with you. That's more like a bonus."

"Ah. This makes us 'enemies with benefits'."

Izaya propped himself to properly eat the sandwich.

"Except I'm not your enemy."

"So you say."

"I've been wondering for a while…don't you shave?"

Izaya blinked rapidly.

"Say what?"

"We've been sharing the same room and all and I don't think I've ever seen you shave…"

"Now that was random. If you must know, I don't shave. I don't have to."

"Ah…isn't that real weird?"

Izaya shrugged.

"Not everyone is a testosterone freak like you."

"Still, guys are supposed to shave."

"Guess I am just that special. Don't tell Shinra or he'll want to dissect me."

"I think he'd rather dissect me."

"To find the source of your crazy strength?"

"Yeah, that."

"Vivisection might be better for that."

"What's your happiest memory?"

"Back to serious business, huh. Sorry but I can't answer that. I told you from the start that I wouldn't answer all of your questions."

Shizuo nodded.

"Fair enough. What's the happiest memory you can talk about, then?"

Izaya beamed beautifully.

"Ah, it's got to be that time I slashed you. My coolness was at its highest back then."

"You sound like an old guy now."

"Just you wait, next thing you know I'll be running after high school girls with a camera to get panty shots."

"It's kinda funny how you have a happy memory that includes me."

"Not at all, it includes you bleeding. That was of course the highlight of it all."

"So you're a…what do you call it, sadist?"

"Not normally. But I make an exception for you."

"I guess that makes sense. But you're more vocal about it now."

Izaya narrowed his eyes slightly and nibbled on a bit of lettuce.

"Oh? What do you mean?"

"That you're getting more honest with me. Usually you try to act like you don't hate me all that much cuz you're above that kind of thing."

"No comment."

Shizuo took the liberty to gobbling one of the triangular bits of bread stuffed with food. He took some time smoking and tapping the smoke into a napkin for lack of a proper ashtray.

"Dunno if I can change your mind since you're…well, you. But I can tell you that I'll protect you."

Izaya laughed and winced almost immediately.

"Gah, the pain, the pain. Have you been reading too much manga or something? This 'I'll protect you' speeches are utterly lame and have no place in real life. Reality isn't that accommodating."

"I know all that. Don't forget that I've been making a living out in the streets for a long time-"

Izaya burst into a fit of giggles and ended up wincing even harder.

"You make it sound like you've been turning tricks! Actually…maybe…you have!"

"You know what I mean. I don't live in some fantasy land. And I am serious. Doesn't matter who is after you, I'll protect you."

Izaya blinked once. Then smiled slowly with a hint of sharpness.

"Oh? Really now. Would you protect me against Shiki-san."

"Yes."

Izaya rolled his eyes.

"Right…"

"Wouldn't you go against him if he's the one out to kill you?"

Izaya chewed meditatively on a tasty slice of beef.

"Realistically? If Shiki-san is the one behind the attempt on my life I'd move."

Shizuo started.

"Move?"

"Move. Hong Kong."

"You like him that much?"

Izaya jabbed a finger.

"Wrong. I don't spare people because of my feelings. But killing Shiki-san is stirring a wasp nest of the worst kind. He is the kind of man that compels loyalty. His goons would get even. And even if I killed them all off – which would be logistically impossible – their families would take up arms. Shiki-san actually has a private army. I'd dump Mikado in Tokyo Bay and his goons might actually not even notice, I do as much as look at Shiki-san funny and his little bros will torture me to death."

"You'd give up Tokyo to save your own ass?"

"Hey, Hong Kong isn't exactly the countryside. As long as it's a city with a vast human sample I will do just fine. Sure, reestablishing contacts would be difficult. The Triads are not exactly nice and being Japanese would not gain me any favors. But I'd risk it."

"But you love Tokyo…"

"Sure. But from a purely pragmatic point of view it might actually be smarter to jump ship to China anyway. Chinese economy just topped ours, very recently they created the fastest train and the skyscraper industry is booming. This century will belong to China, whether we like it or not. In fact, aligning with Chinese interests may be the best move in the grand scheme of things."

"Doesn't matter. You said it yourself, Tokyo is your turf."

Izaya was silent for a while.

"Will it ever stop raining-"

"Don't change the subject."

"It's a matter of adaptability. It does no good to get overly attached."

"So that's the problem…"

Izaya raised an eyebrow.

"What are you talking about?"

"You'd had to leave your sisters behind."

"Mairu and Kururi don't need me. They're independent girls. Actually, as long as Kasuka is around they'd be happy as can be."

"I know they're fans of his. I wonder why."

"It's very obvious given how popular he is with their age bracket."

"Hmm…and you think that's it?"

"Yes."

Shizuo smoked some.

"I was thinking the other day, Kasuka is cute, small, real slim, kinda doll-like. And you're that way as well."

Izaya started.

"Your point?"

"I dunno if your sisters talk to you about it but I got the idea that they like Kasuka so much because he reminds them of you."

"That's preposterous. You're just making it up."

"Not really. I could be wrong but that's what I think."

"A case of transfer? It can't be. There's no way I wouldn't notice since-"

Izaya forced himself into abrupt silence.

"At times the people closest to you are the ones you can't really wrap your mind around."

"Shut up."

"Why are you so angry?"

Izaya tsked and bit his lower lip.

"I'm not angry."

"Sure looks like it to me."

"Have they told you any of this?"

"Not exactly. But that's what I think."

Izaya rolled his eyes in an even more exaggerated way than usual.

"There you go, it's just a crazy idea of yours."

Shizuo said nothing in return. Letting Izaya pick up the conversation again. And as he expected, it worked.

"Do they even talk about me at all…?"

"Not too much. They know that you and me didn't use to get along."

"Excuse me? 'Didn't use to get along'? We don't get along."

"We're having a nice chat, though."

"Maybe it's nice for you."

"You don't like it that other people may know something about your sisters that you don't."

"Oh please, this is reality. I don't spend 24/7 on nii-chan mode and I let them be as free as possible."

"Right but they're important to you-"

"According to this genius theory of yours you subconsciously have a thing for your dear kid brother."

Shizuo paused.

"Nah, it's different, about me and Kasuka I mean."

Izaya's eyes glittered.

"Seems like you can't follow up your own logic. Hypocrisy is a dreadful thing."

"I bet but it is different."

"Pray, do tell how according to your reasoning you are not borderline incestuous?"

Shizuo blinked as if surprised.

"Thought you'd pick it up right away. What's the most important thing to you? Knowledge, right? I know Kasuka. And I know you. And so I know that you look the same but aren't at all the same. But your sisters don't really know Kasuka apart from his image…and it's easy to…what's that word again, 'project' when you don't know the person behind the image."

Izaya's jaw dropped.

"You. You're not an idiot."

"Why thanks, Izaya."

"Spare me the fucking sarcasm."

"Have you ever lost a game? The kind you play against someone else, that is."

Izaya folded his arms and smiled a very thin smile that was razor sharp.

"And this is the part I say 'I never lose at anything' and you go and prove me wrong."

"Didn't say any of that."

"It's heavily implied."

"If you say so. But have you or not."

"Not up to this point, no."

"So you admit that you may lose eventually?"

"I admit that the possibility exists."

"This means that you don't play unless you're certain you'll win."

"Gee, who do you think I am, Kaiji? I don't go for hopeless odds and I don't believe in luck."

"But you think you've been unlucky recently."

"So it would seem."

Izaya was on edge.

"Would you be going on about 'aligning with Chinese interests' last month?"

"Is there a point to this?"

Shizuo nodded.

"There is and you know it. You've realized that you can lose so you came up with an escape plan and then thought yourself into believing that you wanted to live in China all along."

"Not at all. I simply see the positive points to a solution."

"But you changed your tune. You went from 'I'll have to move to Hong Kong' to 'Hong Kong is the best thing ever and it's even better for me to move'. Forgetting the part about Shiki kicking you out of the territory that you conquered with your own efforts."

"Again, I see no point in dwelling in negativity-"

"Bullshit. You've done nothing other than that since we got here. You're just trying to be 'the hand' moving the pieces without admitting that this plan of yours is what being a pawn is all about."

Izaya jumped to his feet. It caused some pain but it barely registered.

"That's it. I won't let you manipulate me."

"You can't laugh it off, huh. That means I am right on the money."

"All of this speculation hinges on the very unlikely possibility that Shiki-san tried to kill me."

"Doesn't even matter if he did or not. It's your attitude that's wrong here. This giving up and then acting all puffed up to cover it up."

"Shouldn't you be glad if I moved? Given how many times you've told me to stay away from 'bukuro."

"Yeah, and we all know what good that did. None at all. I realized early on that the moment I forbid you to even enter 'bukuro you were bound to make it your main turf. You couldn't help yourself any more than you could turn down my offer to ask you stuff about yourself."

"You're overestimating your importance far too much. There are many people in Ikebukuro apart  
from you."

"Sure. But it's like a kid and a garden with a 'no stepping on the grass' sign. If the sign is there the kid will step on the grass. In your case stomp on it madly and doing that weird dance of yours."

Izaya crawled back to bed.

"Isn't it amazing how well you know me."

"I bet that you never spent this much time with someone else before. You prefer to make an entrance – usually appearing when least expected – and after doing your thing you disappear. That way you can keep the image of the super clever informant that-"

"I am very good at what I do."

Izaya's tone was ice cold.

"Yeah but there's more to you than that. You can't be on cutthroat mode all the time. Spending so much time with you let me see other sides to you. Like, the cute side."

"'Cute'? Don't even dare go there. It's looking more and more like you're on a revenge campaign of the protracted kind-"

"The what kind?"

"You're just having a blast seeing me squirm."

"That's kinda fun in bed, yeah."

"Shut the fuck up."

"Have you noticed that you only use swear words when you're about to flip out?"

"Duly noted."

Shizuo sighed. Izaya's antagonism was almost a force field isolating him from proper communication.

"Look, you got the wrong idea here. Sorry if I poked fun at you but it's not like I'm having fun when you get all bothered. I just think that you need to bounce back."

"Oh really. And you have some great advice to offer on that?"

"That's up to you."

"So you're not even useful!"

"Do you want me to help you?"

"Can you?"

Izaya slid into calculating mode.

"It depends on how much you'd let me, I guess."

"Say what?"

"I'll protect you no matter what you say but more than that I can't do. I can't help you if you don't want. Kinda like you said, you can't make anyone like you."

"Alright, let us assume that I was willing to accept this aid you speak of. What would that consist of and what would it entail?"

"You're getting all complicated again."

"I see, it's the 'I won't answer your questions' card?"

Shizuo rubbed his chin thoughtfully.

"Izaya, when you like someone you don't need all this complicated stuff about 'entails' and whatnot. You only need to like someone to help him out. It's real simple."

"You're giving me a headache."

"That was all the drinking you did."

The sound Izaya's grumbling stomach interrupted whatever snappy retort he had in mind.

"Let's leave this talk for later and get you some proper food first."

Izaya wanted to hide under the blankets and simply will his problems away. But he did not need Shizuo to tell him that this was an abdication he did not truly want.

"Fine. As long as I get to pick both of our meals."

"Sure."

Izaya put on some nondescript clothes but he slid into his trademark fur fringed jacket since it was cold enough for it and he felt a boost of confidence wearing it. He made sure to arrange his array of silver rings and combed his hair. Shizuo watched this preparations and nodded.

"We'll be having carpaccio. And black pasta for starters."

Izaya put down the glossy menu. He had just picked the restaurant and true to his word selected the food.

"Car…pa…what?"

"Heh, you will have to trust me on this."

Shizuo was a bit apprehensive but the starter was good enough. But he still frowned when thin slices of red meat arrived.

"Ah…is this raw?"

"Don't be so judgmental. Just try it. And chew for a change, gobbling up food is disgusting."

Shizuo tasted it with some reservations.

"Hey, not bad. So you even eat meat sushi?"

"It's carpaccio, 'carpaccio'."

"Looks like sushi to me. And order a pizza next."

"The cliché of having pizza at an Italian restaurant. Tsk. But at least pizza in this place is not plastic food but the real thing."

"You need food in your belly. As in, cooked food."

Izaya laughed.

"Your palate really isn't refined."

"Who is Kaiji?"

"A great gambler who keeps running into some highly unlikely trouble and with a nose that can cut through steel bars."

"Ah…do you also suspect him?"

Izaya almost choked on a mushroom.

"Oh, you. Kaiji cannot possibly have done it since he is a fictional character. From the eponymous manga."

"Didn't know you were into manga."

"I'm no basement dwelling otaku but every now and then I'll pick up a volume. Remind me to show you the glory of Kaiji's nose one of these days. It's so pointy and crooked that I am sure it must be bad Feng Shui. No wonder he ends up losing all the money he makes more often than not. And adding more debts."

Shizuo said nothing but he noticed Izaya opening up even if only imperceptibly. But he wondered if Izaya noticed it himself.

"You say you don't like gambling but how come you hang out at pachinko parlors?"

"Why would a non-gambling man go such places? To observe people. There is of course no lack of human material for observation in Tokyo but if you think about it there are not so many possibilities of watching the same people for a fixed amount of time without it becoming suspicious. And even those places that do exist such as cafes and whatnot are useful for human interaction more than anything. Which I do find interesting but there is something about the chance of watching people as individuals in an environment that isolates them as such."

"I think I see your point."

Shizuo nodded.

"Pachinko players are usually utterly unaware of anything other than the game. There are a few who are paranoid of being spied lest someone finds their secret 'trick' but most of them don't even notice the guy sitting next to them. That makes them absolutely perfect."

"So that's it…I thought you rigged the machines or something."

"Heh, no. But I know that rigging is the only way of actually winning. And then it would all backfire because the house will not allow itself to be swindled. If you keep beating the odds then the house will find out. Not worth it."

"Yeah. I feel a bit sorry for those poor guys that keep losing money when there's no chance they'll even get it back."

Izaya blinked.

"I'm surprised that you would at all care. I have always wondered, why didn't you join some yakuza group? Your angry ways and crazy strength would be appreciated. You could climb up the ranks just by using your reputation."

Shizuo shrugged.

"I don't really like that kind of thing. It's dirty. And I hate violence."

Izaya giggled.

"No matter how many times you say that it never stops being amusing. Heiwajima Shizuo hates violence!"

"I mean it."

"Eh…do you now. I actually believe you. Maybe I'm losing my mind."

"Nah, being peaceful is better. That way we can talk like we're doing now. Having conversations is great."

"For once I agree with you."

"But actually talking can be complicated."

"You don't have the best people skills around."

"Yeah, I know. I suck at that."

"But you're getting better."

Shizuo blinked several times.

"Oh, thanks."

Izaya smiled candidly. He had decided to opt for a complete change of tactics but he needed to be subtle about it.

"At least I still have one of these."

Izaya hugged himself, the furry cuffs standing out.

"The jacket?"

"Yes. Apart from my luggage all of my belongings have been destroyed. So I'm glad I at least have this."

"It's kinda your trademark."

"Indeed. I had a closet full of these in my apartment but alas, they're all gone now."

"That's a lot. You could add cat ears to the hood."

"Say what?"

"Cat ears. And maybe say 'nya'."

Izaya chuckled. The pizza arrived.

"As you can see there are two kinds of slices and we're dividing them equitably – that means we both get the same – make sure to taste the tiny tomatoes. None of that gross greasy cheese that junk pizza joints dare call mozzarella."

"What's the green stuff?"

"Ruccula."

Shizuo glanced at the fork and knife.

"Don't bother with those, just use your hands. That's how pizza is supposed to be eaten anyway."

"But people will stare."

Izaya lifted an eyebrow.

"Oh? And? Tch, want to give them something worth staring at?"

He answered his own question by using his lips to plant a tiny tomato on Shizuo's. And then cashing on the opening to go for a kiss.

"You're right, these veggies are tasty."

"And the kiss?"

"Was even better."

"Good. And just wait for dessert."

"You mean kinky stuff later?"

Izaya giggled and suddenly reminded Shizuo of Mairu.

"Don't be silly. I mean actual dessert. Namely, profiteroles and tiramisu."

Izaya ordered the items in question with something of a flourish.

"It's a pyramid of sweet things?"

"Exactly! They're arranged in such a wonderful way. And extra chocolate syrup is in order."

Izaya proceeded to pour it over the profiteroles, smiling and humming under his breath.

"And the other one?"

"Tiramisu. Try it, a sweets freak like you is bound to drool over this."

Shizuo tried the tiny spherical confections first.

"It's good!"

Izaya put on his smug face on.

"I told you as much."

Izaya ate a profiterole and offered a slice of tiramisu.

"It's softer than it looks. Kinda…fluffy?"

"Porous, too."

"Real good."

"Maybe your body processes sugar differently and turns it into pure fuel for your insane strength."

"You think?"

"I have no idea. But you sure can eat."

"Sweet stuff is good. Did you really have a nightmare about a tuna fish?"

"Indeed I did. It was rather disturbing. Especially since tuna have no hands but still it was about to slice me."

Shizuo wiped some syrup from his chin.

"Maybe it's your conscience talking. You feel guilty for chugging down tuna fish."

"Er, no."

"Tuna-san shows that down deep you feel sorry."

"-san? What the…"

"From Tuna-san's point of view you're the villain. He was just trying to save his friends and family. So I'm being respectful to Tuna-san."

Izaya burst out laughing.

"Oh dear. You have quite an imagination! Poor Tuna-san, how about poor Orihara-san? I was the one getting sliced! The humanity."

"Hmm…Tuna-san could forgive you if you apologized."

"Your scenarios went from unlikely to batshit crazy."

"It was your dream."

"And you just had to capitalize on the trauma. How shrewd of you."

"Hey, can you do an Osaka accent?"

"Maybe. Why?"

"It'd be funny if you went on with your a billion yen words in an Osaka accent."

"Ha so I'd finally be funny by your standards? That cannot be. I follow my own humor."

"Yeah that's why you're unfunny."

"Unless I'm falling on my face, you mean."

"Heh, yeah."

Izaya jabbed a finger in the air.

"Heiwajima Shizuo! I must tell you something. If you enjoy the suffering of your fellow human beings then you are a bad person by default. So there."

"But you admit you have fun when things get shitty for me."

"Aha! Yet I never said that I was a good person. Tuna-san agrees."

Shizuo was aware of a certain shift but he kept a tactful silence on it.

"You wouldn't make good sushi. Too thin."

"It's amazing that you can stuff yourself with desserts and still be so fit."

"Thanks? But I get plenty of exercise chasing you around."

"Maybe I should charge you for that."

"Ah…kinda like I end up paying for your cell phones? Not my fault you keep ruining them."

"Rejoice for this meal is on me."

"So this is like a date?"

"Hmm…maybe."

"You don't know?"

"It depends."

Izaya chewed on a profiterole.

"On what?"

"These things can't be decided unilaterally."

"Meaning?"

"Meaning that both parties have to agree."

"Ah…I'm fine with it, of course. Problem is you."

Izaya pretended to give it some thought.

"Alright, it's a date then."

"You sure?"

"Positive."

Shizuo nodded as if he was pleased.

"We got the order of things wrong."

"The order of what, exactly?"

"You know, first comes dating and then sex. Not the other way around."

Izaya shrugged. His new approach demanded him not to press matters too much lest it missed the target altogether. Above all he needed to act credibly.

"Oh well, so much for that. But don't get the wrong idea here. It's not like we're a couple."

"Didn't think we were. But you admit that I'd like us to be a couple?"

"If you say so I'll take your word for it."

"That's more than what you usually admit."

"What are you doing?"

Shizuo had been fidgeting with some napkins for a while.

"Making Teru teru bozu. To help with the weather."

Izaya lifted an eyebrow.

"You do realize that such superstitions have no actual effect, right?"

"Won't do things worse either. At least it's not a rain dance in the middle of a typhoon."

Izaya had to laugh.

"At least draw some eyes, otherwise it looks like a ghost. A suicidal ghost at that once you hang it."

"There, he's smiling."

Shizuo dangled the recently made cloth doll. Izaya picked it up.

"Make a few more. It's raining so much that we'll need more than one measly magical bald amulet. Better make an army of these."

"Like those statue guys in the snow with the old man and the umbrellas?"

"You mean Kasajizou?"

"Yeah. Then they gave food for New Years to the old guy as thanks."

"Again, you do know that the whole story is a legend, right?"

"Sure but it's nice. Say, if you could have a superpower what would it be?"

Izaya twirled a spoon in the air.

"Hmm…good question. I suppose I should say reading minds but that would make life considerably less fun."

"How come?"

"Well, part of what I do is of course figuring people out. If I could just peek into their thoughts then it wouldn't be half as interesting. I wouldn't get that great feeling of reading someone because I'm just that good."

"Makes sense since it's you."

"I suppose that I'd pick something like time manipulation."

"Time…?"

"I don't mean it in a 1984 kind of way although who controls the past does control the future and who controls the present needs to be in control of the past. But I am talking more in terms of fast forwarding through bad times and making the good ones last. And even stop time altogether except for me."

"Interesting, how about being invisible?"

Izaya laced his hands together and smiled a sly smile.

"Oh? I already can become invisible whenever I want. Not literally, of course. But I can blend in such a way that people will utterly fail to notice me. In a city as Tokyo, with so much human fauna, I can easily nullify my presence. And that allows me to catch juicy bits of information here and there."

"That and you sneak up on people. Creepy."

"I am so sorry. On second thought, maybe I'd opt for something like prescience coupled with mental abilities as in the Dune universe."

"Say what?"

"It means seeing every single possible outcome in every situation and being able to process unlimited amounts of information. But without the emotional constrains attached in the storyline. Or perhaps omnipresence, actually."

"Ah…I'm confused."

Izaya chuckled. Reestablishing balance.

"It can be somewhat confusing, yes. But I think such abilities count as 'superpowers'."

"No, not that. Sure it's trippy but I get the gist of it. My problem is, if this is our first date…should I be expecting some sex afterwards."

"That's what you're confused about?"

"Yeah. I mean, we've done it before but it's different now. Dunno how this kind of thing works all that well."

Izaya closed his mouth.

"Are you serious?"

"Sure am. And it can't, how was it again, be decided…'unilaterally'."

"You're blowing this 'first date' deal way out of proportion."

"Normally it's a bit wrong to expect that kind of thing so I'm not sure."

"Why don't you try some panna cotta and see how things go."

Shizuo nodded as if he had reached some conclusion.

"It's best not to do it too much, your body is weak."

Izaya ordered the next dessert. Feeling vaguely puzzled.

"I'm beginning to think that you meant want to 'know' me in the biblical sense."

"What's that?"

"Having sex."

"I like that too, yeah."

"Anyway, what's so 'wrong' about doing it after the first date?"

"Nothing but it gives the idea that I'm just after your body."

Izaya chuckled.

"And let me guess, you want to conquer my 'heart.'"

"Without the air quotes, yeah."

Izaya had a moment of stunned surprise and then gestured toward the dessert.

"I bet you never tried this before. Panna cotta, made with cream, milk, sugar and gelatin."

"Looks like pudding."

"It isn't. Such a commoner you are."

"Ah…commoner? Does anyone actually say that in real life?"

"I do. So there."

Shizuo proceeded to try this unknown confection.

"Wow, it's real good too."

Izaya smiled. He found Shizuo's weird fascination with something as simple as dessert to be somewhat amusing. As Shizuo dug in, Izaya found himself reconstructing his table companion's daily life. Humdrum job, constant staring, little money.

"I suppose you can't afford these luxuries normally."

Shizuo noticed the change in tone.

"Nah, not really."

"It can't be easy. Living on minimum wage in Tokyo. It is one of the most expensive city in the world."

"I make do as I can."

Izaya drummed his fingers on the table. Suddenly annoyed at himself and without quite knowing why.

"Ah yes and now you are absurdly wealthy so I suppose all is well."

"You said you were paying…"

"And I am, worry not. And I still wonder if you robbed a bank."

"I didn't."

"Can I get access of a detailed description of your bank account, then?"

"Nah. You're all fussy about your finances so it wouldn't be fair anyway. Bet you don't even pay taxes."

"I am a law abiding citizen."

A waitress approached the table timidly.

"Sir? What are you doing with the napkins?"

"He's making Teru teru bozus. For the sake of sunny skies! Teru teru bozu hangs by the neck for our sake!"

She left with a confused smile and wondering if cabin fever was getting to the guests.

"Don't say that, it's not like he's dead or something."

"Aha, I know. Use the sheets to make giant Teru teru bozus. To upgrade."

"Hmm…can't do that. It's kinda wrong. Because of the things we do in bed. Teru teru bozu is sacred or something."

Izaya threw himself back in a fit of laughter. The chair nearly tipped over.

"Sacred! I don't, I don't even!"

"It might make the weather even worse."

"Blasphemy, blasphemy I say!"

Shizuo enjoyed Izaya's oddly timed hilarity. Izaya wiped some tears from his eyes.

"It'll be like your rain dance."

"Everyone knows that doing a rain dance when it is actually raining turns it into a counter rain dance."

"Everyone?"

"Just ask any shaman. By the way, you're not going into hyper mode from all that sugar, I hope?"

"That's more you."

"See that couple there? The guy's cheating on her."

Shizuo glanced at the people in question.

"How do you know?"

"See how he keeps smiling and being all nice but his eyes keep flitting away from hers? Telltale sign."

"Maybe they haven't known each other for a long time and are still nervous."

Izaya chuckled.

"Not a chance. You don't take someone you barely know to a high end hotel like this."

"Good point. We go back a long time too."

Izaya rolled his eyes.

"That's hardly the same."

"I guess but if you stop and think about it we've known each other for ages now."

Izaya grew thoughtful.

"Of all the many people we meet in life only a very few will really at all matter. Most of the people we cross paths with we do not at all know nor do we seek to know. We only get to even learn the names of a couple and we will only bother to learn how to write a few of those."

"Yeah. I guess it depends on what you mean by knowing someone."

Shizuo fully expected Izaya to take the opportunity to make it clear how wide and impassable the gap in intellectual prowess between them was. Instead Izaya grew very focused.

"I'd say that knowledge of someone is predictability. In other words, being able to predict what a person will do in a given situation. It is a process that requires taking into consideration a lot of variables and is of course always subjected to a certain random element."

"People sure can do random stuff every now and then."

Izaya nodded.

"True. But even I who have studied people at length, I cannot say whether I truly know anyone. Ultimately it could be that the only kind of knowledge that is absolute is that of the self and we are back to Descartes all over again."

"Ah…"

Izaya lifted his eyes to the ceiling briefly.

"Human beings are highly complex creatures. It's almost a truism but it stands to reason. The human brain in particular is a marvel of biology that supports self-awareness and thought. And yet all that becomes nothing upon dying. Everything you've ever thought, felt, experienced, yearned for, hated, loved- everything you are is gone forever. Broken down to the bare chemical components and nothing more. Humans are aware that they will die. Isn't that too cruel? To know that your entire being is destined to utter oblivion. I cannot accept it. I won't accept it. If I have to live with the prospect of death then I would rather not live at all. That's why I won't die."

Shizuo was surprised by the sudden intensity.

"That's how you really feel."

As if realizing that he had gone too far, and unprompted at that, Izaya shrugged lightly and smiled.

"Let's see how things develop between the couple. With some luck the girl will find out and I'll get to do some comforting. You'd be surprised how easy it is to score with girls who've been cheated on."

"Hey, Izaya. No talking about having sex with other people on our dating time."

Izaya nearly sighed in relief at having dodged a bullet and made a mental note not to get too carried away with Shizuo around. Getting confidential was cracking an opening in his flexible armor of detached witticism.

"Fair enough. By the way, I like these."

Izaya produced a package of condoms.

"Flavored? Always had the idea that you were kinky."

"Heh, just for future reference."

"Great, means my chances of scoring with you are higher. If you're talking about this. You'd be surprised how easy it is to score with Orihara Izaya."

"Very funny."

"Do these thingies really taste like chocolate and whatnot?"

"Not as much as they should, unfortunately. The flavor does not last all that long."

"Oh, just like you."

"Haha."

Shizuo unwrapped a condom and proceeded to stretch it.

"Looks normal"

"What are you doing- oh hell."

The condom suddenly snapped from Shizuo's hold and flew across the dimly lit room, landing on the couple's table. For a while Izaya and Shizuo stared intently but there was no reaction.

"They didn't notice it…"

"Shizuo, I swear I'll blow you anywhere you want if you ask them for the condom back."

"Really?"

"Yes. Really."

Shizuo did not even hesitate. He walked over to the table and Izaya was on the edge of his seat, anticipating a scene with the same tingling feeling with which he approached interesting information.

"Sorry to interrupt your dinner but that's my condom there, next to the glass. I'll just take it back."

"What…?"

Shizuo picked it up and was about to leave the confused couple when he turned around.

"Oh yeah, my friend who's real smart says that he's cheating on you. My friend is usually right about this kind of stuff so…you might want to ask to go through his cell phone log or something."

Izaya was on the verge of stomping around the table by the time Shizuo returned.

"I think I'm falling in love with you. That was priceless!"

"Save that talk for when it's actually true."

Izaya was too amused to be angered at the semi-jab. He giggled and hid behind his hands like a coy teen as the girl threw the phone at the guy.

"See? I told you he was cheating! 'Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned'!"

Izaya wrapped his arms around his belly as he laughed madly.

"Why do people cheat anyway?"

"Because they can, that's why."

In his amusement Izaya did not even realize that anything was happening until he saw Shizuo jumping off his seat. Then he noticed Shizuo holding the guy's fist in one hand without even batting an eyelash.

"Oy, cheater. Don't go taking it out on my friend, next time don't cheat. Got it?"

The guy apparently got it.

"Yes, sir- just let me go, please!"

"Sure thing."

Izaya whistled as the man scurried away.

"Who knew that this protective side of yours could be sexy."

"Don't forget our deal."

Izaya leaned over.

"You want it now?"

"Think I'll save it for later."

"How strategic. Waiting for when I am not at all in the mood to screw me over?"

"Not really. Just taking things at my own pace."

Izaya suspected that he had been following Shizuo's pace ever since he had been swindled into agreeing with this assignment.

"I see. If you're done eating let's go somewhere. Not a lot of choice, I'm afraid. And don't forget the Teru teru bozus."

"Wanna shoot some pool?"

"Fine by me."

They drifted to a game room that looked ghostly with its modern furniture seen by candlelight. Izaya tested a cue stick.

"You're kinda like a kid, you know."

Izaya lifted an eyebrow.

"I am not at all naïve."

"I don't mean that. But you're not afraid of being all happy at silly things. When you think something's funny you just laugh like a kid would."

"I'm a free spirit."

"Dunno about that but it's kinda cool when you're having fun."

"Ah, balls and big sticks. It's obvious what this game is actually all about."

Izaya made a rather lame attempt at hitting one of the balls.

"You think? And you're doing it wrong."

"Doesn't matter, it's too dark to even see anything properly."

"Yeah but still. Forget about keeping score, just hold it more like this."

Shizuo placed himself behind him and with almost gentle gestures placed Izaya's hands on the stick.

"Huh, I'm getting some weird vibes from this."

"That's cuz your mind's in the gutter."

Izaya caught the scent of aftershave just underneath Shizuo's.

"So, how should I do this?"

"Just slide it between your fingers. Like this, see?"

"Right."

Izaya followed the instructions and hit a ball that rebounded into obscurity. The noise resounded hollowly.

"Izaya?"

"What?"

He nearly jumped at his name.

"Don't think that you can just hop into someone else's bed as you please. Like it or not that's not how it works."

"Is that a threat?"

"A warning."

"And the difference is?"

"A threat is when you want to go ahead and punish the person. A warning is when you don't really want to do that but may have to."

Izaya tried not to let the slow pounding of his heartbeat distract him.

"So I can't cheat on you?"

"It'd make me angry. Just so you know."

"But we're not a couple."

"Doesn't matter."

Izaya could feel old fears freezing him anew. And then Shizuo took a step aside and as if on cue the lights leaped into life.

"It's about time!"

Izaya ran back to the room and he was already plugging the laptop by the time Shizuo got there.

"You have got to be joking! The internet's down? No matter."

He switched to the now plugged and new cell phone.

"Masaomi? I have a plan. Listen to it very carefully."

Izaya explained it rapidly and succinctly. Then he dialed another number.

"Ah…right…no, I already know what to do. No need to do that. No, that won' do. When you say 'in custody' you mean that you've captured him? Please release the poor guy. Yes, I'm sure. Don't call me, I'll call you."

"Was that the Goat Woman?"

"Seems like she suspected poor Dotachin and detained him. Let that teach him a lesson, that's what you get for not wanting to go to my nabe party."

"So that's what happened. Think your plan will work?"

"I wouldn't put it in motion if I didn't think so. It's very simple. If someone wants to kill me then 'they' will surely react if rumors start popping out about my appearing, very much alive, in some places. I will leak this information via Kida. And when this person or persons move to confirm my whereabouts Namie's men will act."

"That sounds like it'll work, yeah."

Izaya laced his hands together and smiled widely.

"But of course."

"Glad to see you're bouncing back."

"Why thank you."

"Can I have that blowjob now?"

"I don't mind. Any particular reason for this timing?"

"Figured I'd try doing stuff with you when you're all happy."

"Interesting. I'll ask you to shower first."

"Then we can shower together."

Izaya hesitated very briefly. Then clicked with his tongue.

"Alright."

Despite having agreed Izaya still felt somewhat apprehensive. He tiptoed to the bathtub.

"Get naked already, I'll get the water going."

Izaya had merely thought of getting it done without even having to take off any clothes and then going back to business as usual. But he remained calm as he undressed. Shizuo was already filling the tub.

"I thought we were just showering?"

"This is nicer. Besides, we have time."

"Don't choke me."

"Only if you bite."

Izaya took great care in showering Shizuo. Watching the water flow.

"There you go, you're all sparkly clean."

Shizuo sat on the stairs that led into the massive tub. There was enough water to keep Izaya warm without hindering his movements. Shizuo patted his head as Izaya settled in position.

"You really are very pretty."

"Ah, you don't have to flatter me. I know what I'm doing. And I'm good at it, too."

"I don't have to but I wanted to. Because you are pretty."

Izaya did not particularly like these pleasantries. He applied himself to putting into practice all of his technique. Izaya licked, sucked and lapped. All according to a formula he had perfected over time. Using his hands only sparsely to squeeze a few drops of bitter fluid from the engorged tip. He could read Shizuo's reactions and knew exactly when to accommodate his ministrations and to swallow the salty load without a hitch. Izaya was on his feet and reaching for a towel in no time but Shizuo cut him short by holding him close. So close that Izaya could feel Shizuo's heartbeat.

"I told you I was good, didn't I."

"Yeah…but we're not done here yet."

Shizuo ran his hands over Izaya's body, trailing his skin with a gentleness that Izaya found disturbing without quite knowing why. Izaya was getting rather uncomfortable and decided that he had to change the strange mood.

"You want to do me? Aren't you a stud."

"It's because I like you."

Izaya had a snappy retort ready but it was swept from his mind as Shizuo slowly prepared him and lowered him unto a still unflagging erection.

"What's with this being all 'sweet…"

"Told you already. Cuz I like you."

Shizuo was very aware of Izaya trembling in exposed nakedness. He wondered briefly if it was possible to reach his emotions through his body. Izaya came almost silently, arching his back against Shizuo's strong chest. Shizuo released inside him in almost perfect synch. After a few moments of panting silence Izaya slid off. Shizuo filled the tub and joined him, scooping some semen from the surface.

"You came a lot this time around."

"I am a guy, I'm designed to reach orgasm easily enough. If I were a girl and you could pull this off all the time then it'd be impressive."

"If you were a girl I'd knock you up in no time."

Izaya lifted an eyebrow.

"I very much doubt it. Rest assured that I would be on the pill. So it wouldn't happen even if you break condoms."

"I guess."

"This is veering into creepy territory."

Shizuo patted his head again. Izaya did not at all care for the bemused smile. He could not quite place it. Izaya found himself cradling in Shizuo's arms. The warm water unloosened his preoccupations and made him rather lazy. There was only Shizuo as a solid point of reference in a liquid world of dissolving shapes.

"Nah, it's not creepy. Like you say, 'hypothetical'."

"Heh…imagine you using such fancy words."

"Imagine you cuddling with me like this."

Izaya rolled his eyes.

"Must mean that I am falling for you."

"When you do, you'll know."

"Wheee…"

Shizuo said nothing but he wondered to what extent Izaya could delude himself without even realizing it. He kissed Izaya's forehead who giggled like it was all a big joke. Shizuo had found out that laughing at things was a clever defense mechanism for Izaya. Which meant that it was up to Shizuo to dismantle it.

To expose the truth underneath just as he had unpeeled Izaya of clothes. Except it was exceedingly more difficult and complicated.


	12. Chapter 12

Izaya shook off lethargy and busied himself buying cell phones that he proceeded to charge.

"What're you doing? Starting a collection?"

"The electricity may be back for the time being but I'm not taking any chances. Since it can go down at any time I might as well be prepared."

"Yeah, makes sense."

"And now…let's go for a walk. I'm sick and tired of staying cooped indoors and the weather report says that today there will be no heavy rain."

Izaya took a deep breath of fresh air still scented with rain. He walked slowly along the beach and under a low sky of leaden grey. His eyes were on the concrete until he lifted them to the nebulous sea. Izaya pulled over the hood. For a while there was only silence between them.

"Shizuo…if something happens to me, can I trust you to help Kururi and Mairu?"

"What's this all of a sudden? Weren't you going to live forever?"

"That is the ideal situation. But I can't exactly dismiss reality. I am asking you if you will be there  
for my sisters if need be."

Izaya ceased scanning the faded line of the gray horizon and Shizuo was surprised by his unfaltering gaze.

"You're serious about this."

"I've never been more serious. I know that you like them and they like you."

Cold wind carried specks of rainwater.

"I don't know how to feel about that. In a way, I don't like this attitude of yours. It's like you expect things to go wrong. On the other hand it tells me that you trust me a lot. And that's flattering."

"Will you do it or not?"

"I won't have to, nothing is going to happen to you."

Izaya sighed and looked away.

"Don't avoid the question."

Shizuo had to tilt Izaya's chin.

"Try listening to me until the end, okay? I'd watch over them. All I was saying is that it won't be needed. Because I won't let anything bad happen to you."

"Don't get me wrong me here. I have no plans of losing. And this says nothing about how I feel about you."

"Okay. How do you feel about me?"

Izaya chuckled with some effort.

"Is this the part I tell you how I love you ever so much?"

"It's the part where you tell me your feelings."

Izaya kicked a bit of gravel.

"This is hardly fair. You have a spooky way of telling when I'm lying."

"Why does that matter here?"

"It does."

Shizuo took a long drag and exhaled slowly. Palm trees rustled overhead in the not yet tamed winds.

"I'll take that as a confession."

"That is a complete non sequitur.."

"Dunno what that is. But what else could it be? Besides, who's being unfair here? I've told you how I feel. Plenty of times, too. You're the one not telling stuff."

"Fine. I think that you are an annoying person that intrudes in my personal space far too much."

Izaya was completely surprised by Shizuo's bright smile.

"Hey, that's not too bad. No talk about how I'm less than an animal. I'll take that. For the time being."

Izaya folded his arms.

"The time being?"

"Yeah."

Izaya dug his hands into his pockets and carried on walking. Shizuo followed a few steps behind.

"By the way, don't kiss me after sex."

"Why? You seem to like it."

"I only care for kissing as foreplay. To do it otherwise is something couples do."

"'kay. If you say so."

"Good."

Shizuo allowed Izaya to walk ahead of him in silence for a while longer.

"So, you don't dislike doing things that only couples do."

Izaya halted suddenly and spun around.

"Stop twisting my words. I just said I disliked it."

"But that's not true. You're fine with it. That seems to be the problem…"

"You are reading too much into it."

"I doubt you'd even bring it up if it didn't bother you."

Izaya flailed.

"I just said that it bothered me. Are you becoming thick again?"

"It bothers you but not because you don't like it. It bothers you because you do like it."

"Fine, keep your silly delusions if it makes you happy."

Izaya wanted to walk off angrily but he knew it would surely backfire.

"Izaya? If you liked me- and it's the 'hypothetical' thing again- if you liked me…would you tell me?"

It was unanswerable.

"What is this love talk all of a sudden?"

"Forget love for a sec. I mean like."

"This is just useless speculation."

"Then you should be fine with it. Answering 'if' questions is what you do. So what is your answer?"

"How am I supposed to even answer that?"

"Try the truth."

"What, for a change?"

"Not really. You tell the truth at times. More often than not as of late."

"And you figured you'd just use the favorable momentum."

"It's a simple question."

"It's a compromising question."

"Only if you make it that way. So, would you tell me?"

Izaya was silent for a while. Gathering himself.

"I wouldn't tell you, no."

"Why not?"

"If you can't figure it out then you have no right in even trying to mind screw me."

"I'm not trying to do that anyway. I just want you to answer."

"I wouldn't tell you because it'd place me in a highly disadvantageous situation."

"You see it as losing."

Shizuo mused over this.

"Obviously."

"I guess it's not something easy to say…that you like someone."

"It's a power struggle. The last thing you do in a power struggle is to flop over and concede defeat."

Shizuo patted his head much to Izaya's displeasure.

"That's a sad way of looking at things."

"It's the truth."

"How come I haven't 'lost' as you put it? I'll say it as many times as I have to, I like you."

Izaya made an attempt at chuckling. It sounded hollow.

"That's because you use this 'like' of yours to confuse me."

"There have been times when you've forgotten that you're supposed to hate me. And not just in bed either."

"Oh? Is this a case of very low expectations? In which 'not hate' equals 'liking'?"

"Kasuka told me the other day, that even if I had reasons for hating you there might be good things about you too. Things that I didn't know."

Izaya blinked.

"So you got the idea from Kasuka?"

"Kinda, yeah."

"How odd."

"With you and me, because of the all the bad blood between us, 'not hate' is pretty good."

"So very true. That still does not answer what you want of me."

"It's real simple. If you like someone then you want that person to like you back."

Izaya took a step forward, his eyes narrowing dangerously.

"You are trying to force me to admit to 'liking' you. I take offense with that."

"Nah. But you just said that you even if you liked me you wouldn't have the guts to say so."

Shizuo cupped his cheek.

"I see what you're doing. Should I get all offended at being called a coward and go off on some tirade?"

"You should just tell me how you feel. No matter what it is."

Izaya wanted to pursue this Kasuka angle further but he was in no position to do so.

"I am being truthful. I could just say that I'd tell you but in reality I wouldn't."

"I appreciate it. It's still sad. But it gives me some hope."

Izaya sighed deeply.

"Why do you have to do this. You are twisting my words completely."

"That's your fault. The moment you admit that you wouldn't tell me then I can't tell that you don't like me because you'd deny it either way."

"Join the local debate team if you like bickering so much."

"I get it, you have to lie a lot in your job and you wouldn't have picked it if you weren't good at lying but at some point it becomes too much."

"Says who?"

"You know I'm right about it. If you liked me would you even admit it to yourself? Never mind telling me, would you be honest with yourself? Or even, could you be honest with yourself."

"For someone who 'likes' me ever so much you sure can be a pain in the ass."

"I never said I'd put up with your bullshit."

Izaya zipped up his jacket. A defensive act.

"Whatever. I am going for a walk on my own. It's like you're the KGB with this 24/7 stalking."

"You're running away."

"Excuse me?"

"Well, aren't you?"

Izaya considering literally bolting down the street. After all, he could outrun Shizuo any day of the week.

"What the hell do you want me to say?"

"How you feel. That's all. You can say whatever you want but you would never entrust me with your sisters if you didn't like me at least one bit. Because people are connected."

"Brilliant, suddenly it's Lain."

"Dunno what that is. But Mairu and Kururi are too important to you for you not to choose someone you like to watch over them."

"Or they are important enough that I'd pick a person that really cares for them even if I personally don't like him."

"That could be it."

"But you don't sound at all convinced. What, I can't act selflessly?"

Shizuo shook his head. He had the feeling that he was fighting his way up a steep ravine.

"I know you can. You're the one who claims to be completely selfish."

"Why do you have to ruin everything? When I finally get to leave that prison of a hotel you simply have to ruin it for no good reason."

"Sorry about that but there's plenty of reason."

Izaya rolled his eyes.

"Oh gee. Like what?"

"Like finding out what your feelings are."

"And now you know! Hurrah for that!"

Shizuo could tell that Izaya was strengthened in antagonism and one step from becoming unreachable.

"You wouldn't choose someone you hate to take care of your sisters. Because to you being with them is a privilege, isn't it? Selfless or not, you'd choose someone you like. Never someone you viewed as an enemy."

"I am not having this conversation."

"More than that, you wouldn't choose someone who would badmouth your memory if you're gone. So, Izaya…you know that I like you a lot."

"Good for you. Does this mean I'm getting chocolates next Valentine's? Or is it White Day, I'm not too sure how it works with same gender-"

"'Couples'. That's the word you're looking for."

"-'fuck buddies'. That's the expression I was looking for. Or do you read minds now? What am I thinking now, Shizu-chan?"

"Maybe something like, 'If I piss him off enough he'll let the matter slide.'"

Izaya took a step back.

"You're just butt hurt that I won't like you or whatever."

"No matter how you look at it, you're the one who is very angry here."

"Only because you are constructing faulty arguments about me and turning this into a semantic bog."

"Haven't you thought that you could get used to being with me?"

"The sex is good but you're not the only good fuck out there."

"But I'm the only person you actually sleep with."

Izaya clenched his hands into fists.

"So what? We're staying in the same room, it's more practical that way."

"Practical? In such a large suite? There's a lot of space and an extra bed is a phone call away."

"Will you be telling your brother about this 'like' of yours?"

"I'm not afraid of admitting how I feel so sure, why not. It's not like I have to hide it."

"Good for you."

Izaya produced one of his cell phones and punched the keys furiously. But stopped suddenly. He returned it to his pocket.

"Look, can't you just let this go? Isn't it fine talking and rolling around some every now and then? Just…just don't try to spin this into something more."

"It's no enough because that's just a part of it. Izaya, I guess I'm asking for a lot here-"

"You're asking for the impossible."

"-but I can't help it."

"Sucks being you, then."

Izaya was aware that he was coming across as sullen but it matched his mood.

"Okay. How would it be if we were a couple, then?"

"How?"

"Yeah. What would change?"

"I'd be all 'kya, love you so much!'?"

"Be serious about it."

"I'm not too sure, actually."

Shizuo stepped on a cigarette.

"Want to try and find out?"

"Obviously not."

"So you want us to just get along?"

"I am fine with that."

"Is it the label that bothers you? Stuff like 'couple'."

"I dislike it."

"With someone like you it must take a lot to admit your real feelings."

Izaya sighed.

"I don't need this now. Tonight I have something very important to do and you're distracting me. I can't function properly if you keep messing with me. So give me a break here."

"Sorry. Didn't think of that. We can talk about this later."

Izaya smiled. It was very reassuring to be able to call a truce on these terms.

"Thanks."

He heard a step on the wet pavement.

"Orihara, glad I could find you."

Izaya recognized the voice without even turning around. He tried to steel himself.

"Hello, Shiki-san. Has the airport reopened already?"

"First flight in."

"I see! Well, welcome to Okinawa! Gorgeous island all around."

Izaya was a bit at a loss as how to gel with this sudden new situation so he tried to settle the flow by being upbeat. Shiki studied him without as much as blinking.

"I see. I have a meeting so I'll catch you later."

"Indeed."

Izaya kept a smooth smile until Shiki was no longer within sight.

"I wasn't expecting this. Shizuo, from this moment on we are assuming that our interaction in the hotel is super-visioned by Shiki-san."

"Reading you loud and clear."

Shizuo wrapped an arm around Izaya's waist. Izaya took a deep breath, inhaling rain weighted air. Fresh and clean. Then he tossed out his shoes and hopped onto the beach.

"See if you can catch me! For old time's sake."

Shizuo watched him smile in invitation and joined him in the sand.

"I'll count to ten, then. Give you a head start."

Izaya laughed.

"Heh, can you count all the way to ten!"

"One, two,"

"Oh no, the boy can count! I must flee!"

Izaya skipped away, giggling as he flapped his arms about, hood swishing as he pretended to run.

"-ten. Got you."

"Tch, can't parkour when the ground is so unstable."

Shizuo held him from behind, gently.

"Liar…you let me catch you."

"I thought you wanted that? Make up your mind, Shizuo."

"How about you do some 'human body' celebration and get naked again?"

Izaya giggled.

"It's too cold."

"And not enough of an audience?"

"Heh, I don't care about that."

"Look, your friend is back. Tiny crab."

Izaya disentangled himself from the loose embrace and spun around in mock horror.

"No! It will claw out my soul! Tiny crab! Is…tiny!"

Izaya burst out laughing and nearly fell. Then he stumbled backwards and Shizuo had to catch him.

"Is it that funny?"

"Hilarious!"

Izaya kissed him amidst giggles.

"You really are weird."

"Ah, nothing like a good laugh."

A cell phone ringtone interrupted the moment. Izaya picked it up.

"Saki? Really? Do tell."

Izaya listened for a while.

"I believe that I have a lead."


	13. Chapter 13

At precisely ten pm Izaya was summoned to a plush room. Shiki was alone and waiting.

"Take a seat. _Sake_?"

"I'll pass, thank you."

"You look better than last time I saw you."

Izaya chuckled and waved dismissively.

"Thank you very much."

Shiki was a bit surprised at the lilting tone. It struck him as vaguely mocking.

"Have you found out something?"

"Not thanks to you."

"I see."

"I still have some questions. Namely regarding your involvement."

"You think that I am involved in some way?"

Izaya crossed a leg over a knee.

"My question is whether you knew who was behind it the whole time."

"So you know who that is?"

"Not thanks to you."

"It was never up to me to do your job."

"But of course. Informants are expected to find information. But I cannot help but feel that this was a test."

"How so?"

"Everything you've done points in that direction. As does your timing."

"So, what can you tell me?"

"At times it's simply a question of looking in the right quarter. The moment I did that and applied myself to some investigation it was easy enough to find out. All it took was for the suspicion to be there."

"And what will you do when you get back to Tokyo? Or will you give orders from here?"

Izaya smiled widely.

"I will do absolutely nothing. Other than address the person in question and talk about it."

Shiki was silent for a while.

"That's quite a turnaround."

"A wrong choice, you think?"

"It depends on what was your reasoning."

"And here I was, thinking that it was the yakuza way to kill anyone who looks at you funny."

"It's a bit more complicated than that."

Izaya nodded. There were many words flowing between them, a silent undertow running beneath expressed meanings.

"What is to 'know' someone, I wonder."

"It seems like you're finding out."

"Maybe. Maybe I am."

Shiki got up as if to conclude this brief interview. Izaya timed his next reply.

"You knew that it was Saki behind this, didn't you?"

Shiki favored him with a rare smile.

"I wanted to know what you'd do about it. If you were willing to kill someone who is truly loyal to you then you'd be a lost case."

Very casually Shiki produced a gun neatly tucked inside an inner pocket of the sleek white jacket. Izaya chuckled.

"So you'd kill me if I chose to take revenge. Interesting. May I ask why?"

"Loyalty is not something that comes by easily. To betray it is unforgiving."

"And of course she did not betray it first. I am amazed that you knew her motivations."

"Call it an educated guess."

Izaya felt the need to talk about it.

"There was no attempt on my life to start with. She knew I was in Okinawa and could not possible be harmed. The point was to deliver me someone to take the fall, namely Aoba, that she would cleverly frame. The result? My eternal gratitude. I have to say, it is quite brilliant."

"Unless she was found out."

"There's no real brilliance without some risk. Of course, the loss of my material goods is regrettable but I can live with it."

"You've changed."

"In a good way, I hope."

"Good for yourself but perhaps not for me."

Izaya blinked rapidly.

"Meaning?"

"You're growing up."

"Also, the money I was trying to trace. I could not find its source because the source just so happens to be…you, Shiki-sama. Neh?"

Shiki emptied a cup of warm _sake_.

"I was wondering how long it would take you to find out."

"Once I pieced it all together it made sense. Shizuo must have demanded some sort of compensation over the framing incident. And that money was it. Am I right?"

"Congratulations, Orihara."

"What I do not understand is why the amount was so exorbitant."

Shiki considered the young man before him as if for the first time. He too had exercises in mental agility, they did not include overly complicated puzzles as Izaya's, but were just as effective. Perceiving people as if anew was one of these.

"That Heiwajima Shizuo is really something. He dropped by the office, unarmed. Asking for retribution, yes. Over the stunt you pulled. So I offered him to get my men to take you out and or money. I was rather impressed that he did not want revenge so I decided to give him an unlimited credit line."

Izaya's game play was to act as if no revelation could impress him but he was still caught utterly by surprise.

"Ah. I don't suppose you were ever impressed by me. No matter. By the looks of it I have been played with all this time. It's a bit…painful."

"Just handle it."

Izaya smiled almost shyly. Then sighed deeply and flung himself back in the plush seat.

"I've been had, haven't I. You were conspiring with Shizuo. The hand that moves the pieces is always playing against someone else. As to who makes the rules…well, 'God's in his heaven-"

"'-All's right with the world.'"

"I'm glad that you didn't try to kill me."

"I didn't have to. Yet."

"Heh, I see. Yes, if I screw up you'll readily kill me."

Shiki filled another cup and dipped his lips in sake. With moderation. Taking his own time. Aware that Izaya had never been this honest with him before.

"Readily but not gladly. You have at least that."

Izaya bowed.

"And that's what I'll take."

With slow and deliberate gestures, for yakuza were very much like wild animals in that one did not act suddenly around them lest they attack, Izaya reached for the recently filled cup and drank from it.

"Can I call you 'aniki' now?"

"Members of the board wanted to get rid of you since you caused a lot of trouble. I had to smooth things over. So consider my duties as your 'aniki' fully fulfilled."

"That is bittersweet. It means that you won't help me again."

"It means that I thought you worth helping."

Izaya closed his eyes. He suddenly felt close to tears and it would not at all do.

"Thank you. Can I ask you something?"

"You can ask and I can answer or not."

"Fair enough. In my shoes, would you just talk to Saki?"

"There's already too much blood spilling in my profession as it is for me to kill someone who is truly loyal. So yes, I would talk. And 'just' makes it seem as if talking is easy. It isn't."

Izaya nodded in agreement.

"So you don't think I'm loyal to you."

"Because you're not. And you never were. In fact, if you were then you wouldn't be Orihara Izaya."

"You may be right about that. I'm glad that I got to drink from the same cup as you. I've been dying to do that for ages now."

"And now that you have, you can go on your way."

Izaya expected it fully but he still felt a vague tug at his heart.

"So you're cutting off ties of…I suppose 'intimacy' is not accurate a word but 'break up' does not cover it either."

"Call it what you want, it's the same to me. Either way, the one doing the severing is actually you. Isn't that why you agreed to meeting me here tonight?"

Izaya blinked.

"Yes. I suppose that's true."

Shiki seemed to have nothing further to add. But Izaya would not have it.

"I have something for you."

Izaya slid a postcard across the low table.

"[死気], 'Shiki'?"

"I thought you could do with a change to your name. [四木] is far too prosaic. [四] 'shi' with the kanji for 'four' and [木] 'ki' with the kanji for 'tree'. It lacks impact. Change it to [死気] and you'll strike fear into the hearts of men every time you hand a business card. I'm sure that's very useful in your line of work."

"[死] 'shi' for 'death' and [気] 'ki' for 'spirit'."

"It's much more fitting, isn't it?"

"You're a funny kid."

"Why thanks. No one seems to think so but you."

Izaya got up. Shiki smiled bemusedly as he read the postcard.

"Take care, Orihara."

"You too. By the way, what is your given name? Wait, don't tell me. I'm an informant so I'll find by myself."

"Good luck with that."

Izaya already had his hand on the doorknob. He spoke without looking back at Shiki.

"Odds are you know this already but you were the first man I was ever with."

"Very respectful language from you."

"I don't want to cheapen it. After all, you were probably my first crush. Goodbye, Shiki-san."

Izaya left without looking back and before Shiki could reply. He walked away rapidly. It annoyed him considerably that he found Shizuo casually smoking next to a luxurious fern plant. There was something insulting in the calm attitude, perhaps because it clashed so much with a confusion of feelings in him. Izaya opened his mouth, not to voice any of this as much as to complain about something else entirely, but Shizuo cut him off by suddenly holding him close.

"Let go of me, you've been lying to me all this time-"

"I love you."

Izaya started, wrapped in Shizuo's firm but sheltering arms.

"Fuck you. Like I believe that."

"You know it's true."

Izaya chuckled bitterly.

"No I don't. It's just as I first thought, you want revenge. I did try to get rid of you by framing you and involved Shiki-san in the process so you used that to negotiate with him and ruin me."

"Have I ruined you?"

Shizuo let go of him, slowly, looking deeply into Izaya's eyes.

"You knew that Shiki-san had nothing to do with the explosion but you led me on. You wanted me to suspect him."

"Of course. He's my rival. All's fair in war and love."

"That you can say that with a straight face is absolutely incredible."

Shizuo stroked his cheek.

"Letting you meet him on your own was one of the most difficult things I ever did in my life."

Izaya glanced at the ashtray. Cigarettes littered it completely, some had tumbled to the floor and there were piles of ash strewn all over. Shizuo's brand.

"Oh really. Why did you do it, then?"

"I had to. I can't make you reject him, that's something you had to do yourself."

Izaya's eyes widened slightly.

"You really are serious about this…"

"Took you forever to realize, Izaya. Do you have any idea how it's been for me to wait here while you went off to 'chat' with your idol or whatever? It fucking hurt."

A vein throbbed above Shizuo's eyebrow.

"You might want to drop by Shinra's and have your blood pressure checked. On second thought he's a quack so you'd better off going to a real doctor."

"And you care?"

"Maybe."

Shizuo smiled and hugged him again, inhaling deeply.

"I'm glad. No one's been touching you."

"Oh gee, you have a heightened sense of smell? It figures, given how animal-like you are."

Shizuo kissed his mouth slowly, as if sampling him. Izaya tasted cigarettes and wrinkled his nose.

"Sake? You were drinking?"

"Argh, disgusting tobacco. Were you eating the cigarettes or something?"

"What's with the sake?"

"A parting drink. And how about we enrage Tuna-san some more? I'm in the mood for some fresh tuna fish."

"Sure."

"One thing I don't get. How did you find out it was this Saki girl?"

Izaya served him a juicy nigiri.

"She called me with 'evidence' that Aoba was behind it. That made me wonder. How come she knew that but Kida did not? Had she informed me via Kida I might have bought it. Of course, she is capable of gathering information but it was a bit too neat. The typhoon worked to her disadvantage, it must have messed her timing. Once the suspicion was there I could easily find that she had purchased explosives that just so happened to match the ones used in the incident."

The yakuza had special channels when it came to illegal weapons and explosives, it allowed Shiki to pinpoint the culprit.

"In a way, it's a bit like being in love. Suspecting, I mean. Once you start wondering if you're in love…then you are in love."

"So deep."

"It's true, though. Haven't you wondered every now and then, 'how do I feel about Shizuo'?"

"According to your logic if I have then I must be in love with you?"

"You're not answering again."

Izaya shrugged.

"Alright, fine. The thought has crossed my mind. By the way, are you still interested in Long Cat?"

"Of course. Do you have a lead?"

"I have a theory. And let me do that for you."

Izaya dipped the fish in soy sauce, delicately, lest it overpowered the natural flavor.

"A theory?"

"I believe that it is likely that the feline is from Hiroshima or Nagasaki."

"Why?"

"Because of its extraordinary length. Radiation causes genetic abnormalities many generations after it is introduced."

"Hey, that may be it."

Izaya nodded then leaned over, his eyes glittering. He was having fun.

"More, if Long Cat is long enough he may be from Hiroshima and Nagasaki."

"That's really long."

"For sure!"

"Ever been to Hiroshima or Nagasaki?"

"I hardly leave Tokyo. But I've been to Hiroshima once. For the memorial ceremonies."

"Really? Didn't think you'd care for that kind of thing."

"And I don't. But history matters. Who we are is always a reaction to what we were. Japan would not be so obsessed with peace at all cost if not for the insanity of our involvement in the War. And yet, as awful as that was, I can't help but wonder if our development as a country did not depend greatly on the War. The irony is great but rather bitter. Even I do not like the thought that my prosperity required the sacrifice of so many fellow human beings."

Shizuo smiled.

"See? Being human is more than enough."

"I've got to hand it over to you…walking into Shiki-san's office and demanding compensation is gutsy. It's also crazy."

"It worked. I also used some of the money I'd been saving. When you get fired a lot you end up saving."

Izaya laughed.

"I bet."

"What happened to Kadota?"

"Ah, I should give Namie a call to let him go."

With that said Izaya did not seem in a hurry.

*

"I want to show you something."

Izaya lifted an eyebrow. He had been mildly surprised at Shizuo's lack of initiative the previous night. After a carefree meal they had simply fallen asleep side by side.

"Alright."

They took a bus that was not bound for the shore.

"Where are we going?"

"You'll see. Check out the scenery."

The heavy rain had sprinkled millions of drops over the stooping trees, morning light set them ashine in an almost dizzying spectacle. Even Izaya found it beautiful. It reminded him of a cleaner version of the city when the kaleidoscope of neons burst into being. Shizuo stopped the bus in a non-description station that was a mere booth in the middle of the forest. Izaya followed him but stopped at a tiny path that Shizuo appeared to be bent on taking.

"What's this all about, Shizuo?"

"Just a bit longer. Trust me a bit."

"The ground doesn't look too steady…there's mud everywhere."

"'kay."

Shizuo picked him easily.

"So much better."

"I'm a human litter now?"

"Yes. Yes, you are."

Splashes of sun danced in front of Izaya as he opened and closed his eyes for maximum effect. He felt safe in Shizuo's arms.

"You're really lazy."

"Heh, indeed."

All too soon Shizuo was carefully placing him on the ground. In front of them a stream ran. Silvery and almost quiet if not for a bubbling voice of water skipping over smooth pebbles.

"Is this it?"

"Yeah, this is the place."

Shizuo sat on a large stone and stared steady at the flow of water, a smile on his lips. Izaya frowned slightly and looked around.

"What's here?"

"The river, of course."

"I mean apart from that?"

"Nothing."

"I don't get it."

"You will. Sit, it's better that way."

Shizuo scooted over and Izaya sat next to him. The brook's sounds and birdsong filled the air.

"I don't see the point, what are we doing here?"

"Watching the water. Together."

"What for?"

"It's nice."

"Ah…is this one those 'being one with nature' kind of thing?"

"I guess? Maybe not, it's not complicated."

Izaya joined him in silent contemplation for a few more moments. He was rather restless and puzzled.

"I'm just wasting my time here."

"Our contract has expired. This morning."

"It has?"

"I thought you knew since you keep tabs on this kind of thing."

"True. But our agreement doesn't matter anymore."

Shizuo took a deep breath.

"I was hoping you'd feel that way as well. So I brought you here."

"'Here' being the middle of nowhere?"

"I always liked to do this, watch streams. It clears my mind. It's something I really like doing. I figured that we needed some calm, I guess. After everything."

Izaya focused on the streamlets of living silver. Letting the mood it invoked wash over him as if he was flowing along with the water.

"Is that why you didn't touch me last night?"

"Yes. I was a bit nervous since it'd be our first time together."

Izaya blinked.

"Can't you count? First time…?"

Shizuo turned from the river to Izaya.

"First time as an actual couple. I wanted to make it very clear that if we do it I'll consider you my boyfriend. Last night you were all hyper, even if I explained you'd go along with it even if you didn't agree because you'd get horny."

There was also the fact that Shiki was more present in Izaya's mind than ever before. Shizuo said nothing of this because it would undermine his efforts but he knew that upon renunciation Izaya was greatly involved in processing his feelings for Shiki.

"I'm not too sure I like the way you put it."

"Are you saying it isn't true?"

Izaya shrugged.

"So you have a point. But you have yourself to blame for that, you are good in bed."

"I don't want you to do it with me just because of that. You're not too good admitting things like 'love', that much is obvious. So this is what we'll do, I won't pressure you or take the first step. But if you want to be together with me then all you have to do is have sex."

"What, here?"

"No one will come 'round. I investigated this place."

Izaya was silent for a while.

"What a strange man you are. So, what can I expect from being your boyfriend as you put it?"

Izaya moved to Shizuo's lap where he settled quite comfortably. He was at ease because he had already made his decision. Which did not mean he did not enjoy toying with Shizuo.

"We spend time together no matter how busy schedules get, have meals together- that's important- go to sleep together after sex and talk a lot without money being involved. I protect you no matter what. And you don't get to hide it from the people you know and you don't get to sleep with anyone else."

Izaya lifted an eyebrow.

"Oh? And that is fair how? I see nothing in this about you not sleeping with others. So I gather that you get to be promiscuous?"

"It's obvious that I won't do that."

"Hmm…obvious, you say. It's implied, perhaps, but it's not self-evident. Why don't you reassure me?"

"I won't cheat on you. I'm a faithful person."

Izaya laughed but without malice.

"Can't I add something to these terms?"

"Like what?"

"Like, I get to teach you how to appreciate and eat refined cuisine, we search for the mysterious Long Cat every now and then, you listen to me when I'm on a ranting mood and I want…a brand new state of the art cell phone."

"Another one?"

Izaya tsked and placed a finger over Shizuo's lips.

"Aren't you missing the most important part about this?"

Shizuo started, nearly causing Izaya to fall.

"You mean you're saying yes?"

"Indeed. But hear me out first. If we're in that kind of relationship then your alliance is with me. And with me alone. Do you understand? It's as important as being faithful. Rather, it is another aspect of it. In the near future I may very well have to go against Celty. You're friends with her, I know as much. So know this, Shizuo. As my boyfriend you'll stand by me even that means making her your enemy."

Shizuo smiled as if in relief.

"Was that it? I've told you already, I'll protect you no matter what."

"Are you sure?"

"I am sure."

"How about attacking her if need be?"

"There's more to protecting than just wait for things to go wrong and try to correct them. So yes. But this works both ways."

"Oh? How so?"

"If you're with me than your alliance is with me and me alone. I'm willing to let go of Celty if I have to. So you'll have to be willing to discard Shiki."

Izaya offered his hand to be shaken.

"Done. Shake it and it's official. On second thought, maybe this is better."

Izaya kissed him slowly, relishing in the sensation and unbuttoning Shizuo's shirt. Tracing his fingers down his chest.

"Yeah, it is much better."

As much as Shizuo wanted to take the reins the rules were set so as to hand over power to Izaya. And Izaya made full use of it, chuckling after unzipping Shizuo's pants with his teeth. Just when Shizuo was getting into it Izaya stopped and looked up.

"Do you want me to say it? 'I love you'."

"If you mean it."

"Interesting."

Izaya got up and slowly undressed, taking a few steps back.

"Shizuo, you are sure that no one will just happen to drop by?"

"I don't think."

"If someone does I am holding you completely responsible."

"I doubt you'd care."

"More importantly…strip, Shizuo."

For the first time Izaya could fully appreciate Shizuo's physique. Izaya took his own time watching with newly honed attention. It occurred to him that Shizuo seemed a bit vulnerable without the almost perpetual shades. Izaya quite liked it.

"I suppose striptease isn't your thing?"

Shizuo laughed at the thought.

"I leave that to you. And pole dancing."

Izaya approached. The grass felt fresh against his feet. He clambered unto Shizuo's lap.

"Pole dancing? Can't say I've ever tried that."

"But I bet you'd be good at it."

Izaya giggled and kissed him. Casting butterfly touches. Shizuo let Izaya set the pace entirely. Somehow it was important that it should be so. And Shizuo relished. Not so much because Izaya's technique was flawless – after all it tended to become irrelevant after a while – but because there was something rather kinky about having Izaya be so completely in charge.

Izaya rode him slowly, his trademark smile on.

"You better last, Shizu-chan."

"That's kinda up to you, isn't it?"

Izaya laughed heartily. It caused his body to tremble, sending shockwaves through Shizuo. Izaya nipped at Shizuo's ear. Half playfully.

"I guess it is."

As if this was the cue Izaya picked up speed, propelled by sheer momentum. As Izaya climaxed he dug nails into Shizuo's broad shoulders. Shizuo saw white as orgasm tided him over. Izaya slid off but Shizuo gathered him in an embrace. For a while Izaya was content resting comfortably, his breathing slowly becoming even. He ran his fingers on hot semen coating Shizuo's abs. Shizuo parted sweat damped hair from Izaya's forehead and gently kissed it.

"So, was that good?"

"Tch on you, you're not supposed to ask that. And you do have some fanciful romantic notions. If I may say so. And I may indeed say so."

"Because you're my lover?"

"So I am. But don't go getting all mushy on me."

"That reminds me, how about you wear this?"

Izaya was vaguely annoyed that he lost the feel good warmth of Shizuo's body as Shizuo scampered off to hand him something.

"Cat ears? Only on Saturdays or as they should be called, 'Caturday'. 'Nekoyoubi'!"

"We better get dressed before someone drops by."

Izaya adjusted the cat ears on his head.

"I thought no one ever came ever? And just where did you get this?"

"Can't tell for sure no one will. Got it at Akihabara."

Izaya had to laugh.

"Oh dearie. And I was under the impression you did not have this kind of thing."

"Guess I lied."

"Wonderful way of starting our relationship, isn't it?"

But Izaya was amused.

"I also got a tiny silver bell…but I figured you wouldn't wear that."

"And right you are!"

Izaya yawned and rubbed his eyes. It reminded Shizuo of a sleepy kitty. He handed Izaya's his clothes.

"You just went back to '-chan'ing' me."

"What can I say, there's something to 'Shizu-chan' that fits. Do you dislike it?"

"I'm fine with it now."

"Let us rejoice, then."

Izaya yawned again and stretched.

"You can't be sleepy."

"I can and I am. I'll have you know that sex burns a lot of energy. Besides, it's a bottom's privilege."

Shizuo got dressed and Izaya followed his example at his own sweet pace.

"Then it's a good thing that you can sleep next to me after we do it."

"You may very well be right about that. By the way, have you heard of Ceiling Cat?"

"Friend of Long Cat's?"

"Maybe. But more importantly, Ceiling Cat watches you fap."

Shizuo was in the process of smoking but he dropped the cigarette as he burst out laughing. After all Izaya spoke in the most matter of fact way, cat ears still fastened and looking like he was personally acquainted with feline online celebrities.

"Who comes up with these things?"

"People with too much time on their hands. It is said that when Ceiling Cat meets Basement Cat it will bring forth Catnarok. People say that it's Long Cat versus Tacgnol but everyone knows that it's just a legend."

"You know this stuff. Just like a kitty."

Shizuo patted his head.

"Nya? And the very best one: Every time you fap God kills a kitty. Think of the kitties!"

"Then how about that cat on the ceiling?"

"I suppose he'd see all that, wouldn't he."

"There wouldn't be any cats around if God did that."

Izaya rolled around on the grass as he laughed.

"Don't make me laugh, I hurt in places unknown to men."

Shizuo was amused, he could see that Izaya was so much more at ease. There was something liberating and almost innocent about it.

"Good thing there's no ceiling above us here."

"Aye but Sky Cat might be watching."

Izaya sauntered to the stream and dipped his feet in the cold water. It sent a jot of joy through him. He stared at the water sliding past rapidly. Shizuo sat next to him.

"It's nice, isn't it? Watching the river."

"We never bathe in the same water twice as they say. It may sound a cliché but there is some truth to it. Each moment is unrepeatable. I think that this simple fact has been lost to most people. When you look at life nowadays, how do most people pursue it? Through routine. Wake up at X hours, take the train at X plus Y minutes, arrive at work at X plus one hour, repeat the same tasks for a period of grey hours, eventually arrive back home and wind up your mind for the next day that will be exactly as the previous one. As a result these people fail to see that life is passing them by. They may say, 'one day I will do this and that' but 'one day' is purely fictional. Have you ever wondered why so many jump off buildings?"

"Because they're unhappy?"

"Because they are bored. Really. Most of them are simply bored."

"At least you never seem to get bored. Just real paranoid."

"It is not paranoia. It is reasonable suspicion."

"Nah, at times it's just paranoia. Maybe tiny crab is in on some plot. You never know."

Izaya blinked.

"Heiwajima Shizuo, are you trying to be funny? Will the wonders ever cease."

"So, what will you do when you return to Tokyo?"

"Start apartment hunting since I am currently homeless."

"Want to stay at my place until you get your own?"

"And where would I sleep? In a closet?"

"With me. Plenty of space and you've been doing that already as it is."

Izaya tossed a pebble into the river. The splash was very loud but the surface ran smoothly shortly after.

"I'll consider it."

"I never saw any cat in the ceiling either."

"Ah but Ceiling Cat never lets people see him. So if you cannot see him it does not mean that he is not there."

"I guess. But how do people know he exists, then?"

"It is a mystery."

Izaya sneezed.

"You'll get sick again."

"Do you really have a tiny bell?"

"Sure do."

"Kinky. Or crazy. Or both, actually."


	14. Chapter 14

Izaya took a deep breath and spread his arms open.

"Ah, Tokyo. Even the air is different."

"It's polluted."

Shizuo wrinkled his nose. They had just arrived in the capital, the city of all cities, and Shizuo already missed the nice atmosphere of Okinawa with its clear skies and deep blue sea.

"Aren't you a hypocrite. Complaining about the quality of air when you fill your lungs with poison."

Shizuo rubbed his chin, thoughtfully.

"Yeah, you got a point. Guess I can quit now. Since I made a promise with myself."

And just like this he tossed his cigarette pack to a curb. Izaya blinked.

"I have to ask, what promise is this?"

"If I got through to you then I'd quit smoking."

"And you decided this before hiring me?"

"Yeah."

"Didn't you say you fell in love with me in Okinawa?"

"And I did. But I wanted to, how should I put this, communicate with you before any of that."

Shizuo was quite pleased that the annoying air quotes were gone. Izaya glided down the sideway with his typical swagger.

"Hmm…so, Heiwajima Shizuo. Do you think that you know me now?"

"Completely? No, not even close."

Izaya lifted an eyebrow.

"That was the right answer."

"But I know you much better. And I have time to learn more. It's probably impossible to ever learn everything about someone no matter what but trying, really trying, is good enough. That is what I think."

Izaya smiled openly.

"Every now and then you say some rather pertinent things."

"Thanks. Here it is."

Shizuo produced the tiny bell from a pocket and dangled it in front of Izaya who burst out laughing.

"You cannot be serious."

"Told you I got one for you."

A small alarm informed Izaya that he had received an email.

"Shizu-chan, how do you feel about getting on a plane again?"

"What for?"

Izaya showed him the picture he had just received.

"Is that…?"

"It does look quite a lot like Long Cat. Sighted in…I will let you guess."

Don't tell me, Hiroshima…?"

"Nagasaki!"

Izaya proceeded to skip around in that crazy dance routine of his that never failed to amuse Shizuo to no end. Shizuo held him and kissed him much to Izaya's dismay.

"You can't do that in public!"

"Sorry. Are you going after Long Cat?"

"If you want to then I'd be glad to tag along."

"Why don't we take the train instead?"

"The train? What for?"

"To see the landscape."

"Is there anything worth seeing in this country apart from Tokyo?"

"Don't be a jerk, Okinawa is real pretty and Nagasaki looks great."

Izaya waved dismissively.

"I predict that we will see rice fields, rice fields and rice fields."

"It'll be fun, you'll see."

Izaya laughed.

"So let me guess, no Shinkansen?"

"Normal train."

"We are becoming rural. Next thing I know I'll be tilling the fields or something along those lines."

"Nah, we have to catch Long Cat. Or to be more national, 'Nagai Neko'."

"What do you mean? It's not a stray cat, we can't just catch him."

"That's too bad."

"Besides, if we had a pet just who would take care of it?"

"Cats take care of themselves, long or not."

"Unless we're about to move in together for good then it'd be complicated. And you don't have to pick now to stop smoking. I am afraid you'll get cranky to the point of it being dangerous for me."

"Nah, won't happen. And we'd just have to live together."

"Heh, maybe we can bribe the owners or steal Long Cat from them."

"So we can live together?"

"You sure can be persistent."

"I'll take that as 'sure'. And I have to be, no way I could be your lover otherwise."

Izaya chuckled.

"Oh dearie. You have a point there. I'll think about it."

"So, shall we go?"

Izaya was a few steps behind. For a while he watched Shizuo who had no issues holding his hand to Izaya to take. Izaya wanted to inform Shizuo that such things were beyond odd but somehow he felt that it would cheapen the moment. He took Shizuo's hand and placed it inside the pocket along with his own. The tiny bell was there too and it bounced freely.

"Let us go, then."

And they walked side by side.

**The End**


End file.
